- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Hey Bees, I’m in need of some serious advice, because right now I feel like I could easily let my emotions get the better of me and I could say or do something I might later regret.
To catch everyone up, my older sister and I were engaged pretty much the same day – our FIs are not close so they had no idea the other was proposing. My sister did get engaged first, and my FI did propose as he’d planned to later that day, he didn’t wait. Some people think he should have waited, others don’t. That is neither here nor there, and as it was not my call to make, I really don’t have input other than to say no, which to me wasn’t an option. FI and I set our wedding date the next week, for our 6 year anniversary, April 6, 2013. My sister and her FI set their date for March 2, 2013 two weeks after we set our date. I really didn’t have any issue with it because I’m having my wedding in my parents’ hometown and a location that I knew I was going to get married at ever since I was old enough to know what a wedding was. 90% of my guests are local or are extremely close, and my only guests that are out of state of from my FI’s side of the family. I actually live further from the venue than 90% of my guests. Travel won’t be an issue for the most part.
Anyway… everything seemed fine. I was doing a lot of wedding things with my sister, but it did seem like when it came to my wedding things got over-looked. I came here seeking advice and for the most part the advice I was given was wonderful. My mother and I have been doing a LOT of wedding things and now that my FI is back home everything is wonderful. However… this situation did bring out the resentment my sister was harboring towards me and my FI. She is deeply saddened by the turn of events and feels that both she and I should have our own personal time as “the” bride. I’d like to think she hasn’t been doing things out of malic…
Turns out that my sister’s venue overbooked for the day of her wedding (she being the overbooked bride) and the venue was appologetic, but their hands were kind of tied. As it turns out most venues in that area are BOOKED for the weekends and most Fridays during that time, but her original venue did have a few slots open for FRIDAY weddings. They have April 5, 2013 and April 12, 2013 open. The next Saturday they had open wasn’t until June. They were willing to comp my sister her venue rental fee as attonement for their mistake, so my sister decided to stay with her venue. I was aware of the double book, but was only made aware of the dates and my sister’s selection of date today. My mom called me and said that my older sister had booked her wedding for April 5, 2013. I’m trying not to panic. It isn’t the same day, so that is good, but her venue is 6 hours from my venue. Since most guests live in my venue’s area, they would have to drive 12 hours to get from her wedding to mine. I’m having a really hard time seeing how I am going to be able to have her wedding the night before mine. Even if I left her reception at 10:00 (2 hours before it ends) and came straight to my parents house, it would be about 4 when I got home. I’m not trying to be a bridezilla, but I honestly don’t see how this would work well for me. I don’t want to feel tired on my wedding and I don’t want my guests to feel rushed. I want them to enjoy themselves.
So FI and I are considering changing our date, even though we are really attached to our anniversary, we’ll be creating a new anniversary together. Unfortunately, the only Saturday my venue has open is in July 27. 2013 (we really want a Saturday so more family can come!). Also, FI’s Best Man might be deployed at the time. We could do a weekday wedding (most Fridays and Sundays are also booked up – this venue is REALLY sought after!) and have it earlier, but it isn’t exactly what FI and I want. Anyway…. I told my mom what we were considering and she seems really against it. She thinks that I shouldn’t let my sister bully me around like this, and that she should just have her wedding the weekend after mine, but according to her, my older sister thinks that the older should be married first. Anyway, I feel if I don’t change the date my sister won’t “win” but in a sense I’ll “lose” because of the stress between the two weddings (Sis still expects me to be a Bridesmaid in her wedding, and I really am having trouble seeing how that will work out.).
I don’t want to cause unneeded drama, but I am actually very close to having a panic attack. I’ve already booked things for that date and am now afraid that I won’t be able to get everything booked for the new day. I just need advice about how I should handle this situation. I am trying not to get upset and be a bridezilla, but I AM upset, and think that there has to be another solution. I really don’t want to change my venue AND my date, I’m just lost! Please help!!!
CLIFFNOTES: Sister’s venue overbooked her wedding date, and her only option with her venue (that is now comping the rental fee) is either the day before my wedding or the week after. She set her date to the day before my wedding. Our venues are 6 hours apart and have shared guests that we’d like at both weddings. FI and I are considering pushing our wedding back to July 27, 2013 so we can avoid the drama and it would be easier on us not to deal with the drama of having two weddings back to back, even though the 6th is our 6 year anniversary. My mother seems to think that would be letting my sister bully me (Sis isn’t exactly thrilled that I am also getting married), but I really don’t see a solution. Advice? I’m trying not to have a freakout bridezilla moment. The whole situation just kind of sucks. I don’t really want to change my date, but I don’t really want to have all that stress right before the wedding either. Advice very much needed!