Post # 1
So, I have been stressing so much on how to have this beautiful wedding with a $10,000.00 budget!! I have gotten it pretty much under control, but im giving up A LOT. I know that they day is all about the love that we have, and I understand that. but If your going to spend so much money, why not have it remotely the way you want it.
I think my thing really comes into play with — we are having 200 guests… 100 from my side and 100 from His side. Well, I have super high school bills and I work my butt off!! My grandpa has given us 4,000.00 and I am paying for the rest. Well…. I think a lot of my stress would be loosened up if we werent inviting so many dang on people!!! The favors could be cut down, table amount, food, everything basically. WELL — I dont want to cut my grandpas fam out, bc He has given us a lot… and I feel like an asshole if I ask my FI to cut HIS family. but at the same time… his family isnt helping AT ALL, so why should he get the same amount of people as me??
I feel like such a jerk though… thinking that just bc they cant give us money that the 100 from his side cant come. Or should be a smaller number. I feel really bad. But im so stressed out bc of this stinkin money. All i wanted anyway was to have a super small wedding, and my grandpa is so happy for his brothers and sisters to come and everything.
I dont want to feel like a jerk, but i cant stand the stress.
The thing that does kind of erk me about his dad, is he wont give a dime, but he is building this new hunting cabin, and throwing TONS of money into that… but wont even give us 500.00. He thinks weddings are stupid and if we want to have one, we should pay for it. FI mom is an alcoholic and deff cant afford to give us money, and his grandparents give and give and give to everyone is his fam, we feel bad asking for it for us.
Ohhhhh im just in a stressed out funk!
Post # 3
Have you sat down with your FI and really gone over the list?
Post # 4
@MeganTacky2247:He thinks weddings are stupid and if we want to have one, we should pay for it.
Well, I kind of agree. I don’t think weddings are stupid but I also dont think you should get mad that people arent chipping in.
200 people is a LOT of guests. I think its time to each go through your lists and start cutting some people out.
Post # 5
Well – you’re a grown woman. You can’t really expect anyone else to pay for your wedding except for you and your FI. If someone offers to help, it is a nice bonus. But no one should be discredited or shunned or punished for not offering.
200 guests is a ton – I think you should BOTH go through your lists and decide who you REALLY want to have there. That would help with your budget a ton.
Post # 6
Oh yes… and I am trying to cut and cut and cut on my side, people that i dont mind that arent there, and people that i dont think my grandpa would mind werent there either. But my mr… sweet mr. actually just keeps finding friends that he wants to invite.
EPIPHANY — MAYBE if i made a spreadsheet of how much food, favors, etc cost at the 200 people mark, and THEN how much it would cost at say a 150 person mark, THEN he would see how much money we would save!!
Good idea?? lol
I also cant say no to the recently added friends bc, a few months ago one of his friends got in an accident and died. It was one of those friends who you used to be crazy close to, and who you kinda fell out of touch with, but still kept that little bit of contact ya kow. Well, its that whole group of friends. And now they have girlfrinds and babies and crap. IM like — friends and G/f’s ONLY!!
Post # 7
Cut down his side to grandparents, aunt/uncles and first cousins. Let them know how pinched for money you are. If they say anything about your side being larger, say that your grandpa graciously put in money to help defer costs.
Post # 8
ok well let me put it this way — how do I not feel like an ass. BC if someone IS helping, then i want to kinda give them more respect than the people who arent.
I mean, I dont expet money from anyone. BUT – if you give me money, i also dont want to tell you that anything you say doesnt even matter to me.
Post # 9
200 is a ton of people. Unless you have huge families there’s no reason you can’t cut it down! We had to leave some friends off of our list but that’s life.
Here are two great weddings on a budget…
http://lizcwhite.com/2011/01/17/our-diy-low-maintenance-totally-awesome-wedding/#comments (this is the first part in a series of a few where she goes over some of her wedding costs)
Post # 10
oh, i HATE HATE HATE the fact that the list is that big!!!
I just need help on how to tell people that it cant be that way.
And mind everyone im a VERY quiet, respectful girl
Post # 11
My grandpa has given us 4,000.00 and I am paying for the rest.
Why are you paying for the rest? Isn’t your fiance helping??
Post # 12
Cut out ur grandpas family please he deserves them to come for caring enough to help out
Post # 13
@amw511s FI descibes “helping” as he pays for rent and utilities at our apartment and for a little bit more of the grocery shopping and what not. My mom hates it. (even though she isnt helping at all) She thinks FI is getting off WAYYY easy.
I get a little salty with him bc he works. Which is great and he pays the bills. BUT I am paying a LOT for this all. and Im trying to see it in a way that I will feel better about myself once this is over. Bc i work 2 full time jobs and sometimes a 3rd on weekends. To pay for MY bills and for wedding, and saving for the future.
I hate money. SO MUCH!!! lol.
@Jayparadise You think i SHOULD cut them bc he is helping?? or was there supposed to be a “dont” in front of that?? 🙂
Post # 14
I’m not doing favors at all. I’ve heard that people mostly don’t notice them, forget to take them, or throw them out. What’s the point in spending $100+ on something nobody really notices or cares about?
If it helps you lower your stress level any, you still have plenty of time to tweak the list. My advice is to try to avoid telling anyone that they are for sure invited.
I say something like “we still haven’t worked all the kinks out of the guest list yet, but I’ll keep you updated.” Or tell people you’re trying to keep it small, so you’re not sure who all you’re inviting yet, but that you’ll certainly keep them in mind.
Post # 15
As for cutting people, I don’t think it matters that your FI’s dad isn’t paying for anything — your FI should still be allowed to invite an equal number of people. If you cut his side, you have to cut your side.
You really need to talk to him and tell him that the guest list is getting out of control. 200 is a LOT of people.
Post # 16
Simple, cut the guest list. But make sure you cut it equally from both sides. A $10,000 dollar wedding is more then do able, gosh we are getting married for $3000 and most of that is my dress and photographer. 🙂 If you haven’t seen the person in the last few years, cut them out, nobody is going to get hurt over it, they will understand. It is your wedding, not your grand fathers and if he gave you money to help that is wonderful of him but that does not entitle him to bring guests that you do not want at YOUR wedding. If he is that demanding then give him his $4000 back.