Post # 1
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
So last week I went to try on dresses for the first time (I’ve been engaged since July). Ever since we got engaged we’ve been leaning towards eloping for several reasons.
Putting on wedding dresses literally made me feel stupid! Has this happened to anyone?
I just felt uncomfortable and totally out of place in a wedding dress. I have no idea why. All of the dresses I tried on fit me pretty well and would need minimal alterations. It’s just that… I don’t know, maybe I didn’t really “fall” for any of the dresses? I didn’t have that “Ah-ha!” moment at all. My friends that went with me really loved one of the dresses that I tried, but none of the dresses felt like me.
Everyone keeps saying that as soon as I find the dress the rest of the planning will come easily, but I can’t help but think it’s not the dress, it’s just that I don’t want a wedding :/ When I tell people that I don’t really want a big wedding (or a wedding at all), I get responses like, “Oh come on you deserve a wedding, you guys have been together for so long.”
Maybe that’s another reason why I don’t feel like a wedding is necessary? We’ve been together for almost 8 years and have been living together for over a year. I feel like we already are married I guess?
Thanks for reading… if you have any advice or you experienced this please feel free to respond!
Post # 3
Dress shopping felt very mechanical to me (does that make sense??). I went to the salon, tried on 2 dresses that they suggested, saw one I thought was pretty, tried it on and ordered it. LOL No tears, no butterflies….just something I needed to get done.
If you are wanting to elope (and it 100% sounds like you do!) than I think you should go for it!! You “deserve” to have the wedding you want
Post # 4
I’m in the same boat as you.
I love my wedding dress, but once it’s on I feel pretty silly. I think that would be the same for any white dress I picked out (I just don’t wear white, mostly to avoid looking like a bride)
I have this sneaky feeling I will feel a bit differently about it on our wedding day, though.
For now? MEH.
I am also not-so-crazy about our wedding – don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to get married, but I don’t feel like the wedding is a requirement. FI wanted a big one very badly, so we’re doing it and I’m OK with that! I would just be much happier eloping. 😛
BTW – I found my dress before I started planning and it didn’t make a damn thing easier.
I WISH it had!!!
P.S. If FI was on board, we would totally elope.
I’d give it some SERIOUS thought, because TRUST ME, planning a wedding is NOT FUN if you aren’t particularly crazy about having one. I was positively miserable when we started planning this thing, now it’s just causing me an excessive amount of stress (all these little details that I just plain don’t care about)
Like I said, I’m just looking forward to getting married (and hoping the day goes smoothly)
P.P.S. If you like retro-style tea-length dresses, may I suggest checkign out Trashy Diva? That’s where my dress is from and it’s hella well-made and excellent for eloping in. 😀
Post # 5
@CakeyP: “I have this sneaky feeling I will feel a bit differently about it on our wedding day.” THIS X100000
@FutureDrAtkins: I didn’t feel silly or weird trying on dresses, but I certainly didn’t feel like the bridiest bride in the world and there was NOTASINGLE tear. I eventually purchased the very first dress I tried on, but I had to try it on twice in order to feel ready to pull the trigger. It’s very odd standing up there getting this giant gown fluffed up when I’ve never worn a gown of that magnitude before. And it felt a little bit like playing dress up, since they’re jacking you up with veils and blingy belts and any other accessory, even though it’s not the real day. I don’t know, though I think I make a pretty decent wedding planner I’m not exactly oozing out the bride gene.
THe way I knew I still wanted a full gown is I went to BHLDN, looked at the reception dresses and realized that those to me were more like what I wanted to wear to the rehearsal versus the wedding itself. And then I knew I was in for the real dea– train and all.
I think the most important question to ask yourself, is who do you want around you when you say your vows? Do you want your friend from undergrad that was your partner in crime? Do you want your new friend from work that knows everything about your day to day? What about your cousin you grew up with? Etc. And, by the way, there’s nothing wrong with wearing a non-froofroo gown to a traditional wedding if it’s just the gown that doesn’t feel right. Or, some people elope while still having the full gown. They’re not mutually exclusive concepts and you just need to be true to your style!
Post # 6
If you want to elope, do it!
We were freaking for ages about money/details/family/pressure and I just said you know what, let”s just grab our best friends, and go to Manhattan and get married. Forget everyone else, and what people expect.
I was genuinely considering spending £1000 on a cake, because my family said we couldn’t go without one – I don’t even like cake! The fact that you’ve been together for a while, and that you already feel married gives the impression that you might want to spend money on your place together, and saving for the future, rather than blowing it on a traditional, big day. Being married will be the best part, IMO, not GETTING married.
The most important thing is standing in front of your FI and committing to each other. Do it your way! 😀 xx
Post # 7
@FutureDrAtkins: we haven’t even been together as long as you guys but when we tell people were eloping, EVERYONE has an opinion about why we HAVE to have some sort of wedding, even if its small. Just ignore them and do what you want
Post # 8
Oh my, I REALLY feel you. I have tried on like 15 dresses already and I just don’t feel them. Since our wedding is planned to be small and mobile, I just can’t imagine moving around in those gowns. They are so uncomfortable, and I just can’t find THE ONE I really like. And I do want to be excited about my dres….so I’m switching gears and going to try on some ivory/white beautiful and light evening gowns. Something simple but flaterring.
As fas as eloping….just do what you feel right. I’ve been with my fiance for 7 years. He is ready to elope tomorrow, but I want family to be there with us. So we are doing city hall and private dining at a restaurant. Nothing fancy.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
Is it due to the price of wedding dresses that is scaring you away?
If so, there are much more affordable options out there, within reach.
A coworker gave me the best advice just before I went to David’s Bridal to find my dress; she said to look into my own personal wardrobe and observe what I wear on a daily basis for dresses. I didn’t cry over my dress; it just felt comfortable — not having to drag metres of fabric (aka train). (I found a tea-length ivory dress)
For elopement friendly dresses, check out Modcloth.com, Shopruche.com or Unique-Vintage.com. 🙂 Good luck!