I think it's perfectly ok to do that. You're going to get an idea of what you like. When I went dress shopping I found my dream dress at one shore but bought it at another because I liked their service better. It's definitely alright to do that and I think your grandmother would love to share that experience with you. :)
Btw, I'm from Ottawa!
If you don't have a dress, I don't see anything wrong with it. You're trying to get ideas of what style you want, what styles look nice, what details you dislike... and as you said, most people understand that Rogers first dress shopping experience is just for testing the water, especially bridal consultants. I don't see anything wrong with it.
I don't think even a salesperson would mind if you fessed up to this in the appointment. If you don't have a dress they always still have a chance to seal the deal :)
BUT what if you and your grandma fall in love witha dress and she wants you to get it right then and there? Will that be awkard for you and your grandma?
Go for it. When my family gathered with his across the country to celebrate the engagement, my mom and his mom went to a bridal salon with me. Now mind you, I live a couple of blocks away from one of the best bridal salons in the SE and had already pretty much picked out my gown. But it was still fun to try on dresses and it was an experience- I ended up deliberately picking dresses that I would never wear, but you can make the experience more "educational". :)
I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all! Just be open minded about it - you might actually find *the* dress - you never know :)
PS can't you get the sales tax taken off when you buy it? I see people do this regularly where I live (lots of foreigners), but wasn't sure if it applied to Canada to US.
Well, I'm in the minority.
I think its rude. You are taking up a time slot that could be given to someone who actually has intentions of buying a dress. You are essentially making sure that sales person does not have a sale. When it comes to that you are hurting her sales quota. That hurts the businesses bottom line. You could be the that last quota she needs to not loose her job. Especially in this economy.
@ScottishMrs: Where did you try on dresses? I found a salon near my grandparents called Mia Bridal.
@lovelyduckie: At 84, she's pretty laid-back about stuff. I doubt she'd pressure me into buying a dress right then and there, and as I mentioned, I'd only go to a place that carries designers I can find locally.
@atlbride2013: That's kind of what I'm thinking. Try on a bunch of different types, just to get a feel for what I want and like. I've never tried them on before, so I don't know what would look good on me. Plus, I've heard from so many of the ladies here that they went to a salon with one style in mind, and ended up getting something totally different.
In the end, this is about me sharing part of the wedding with my mom and Grandma. She's a pretty cool lady, so I'm glad it seems, in general, ok to proceed as planned.
I think it's fine to go to a shop to get ideas of what you'd like before you're ready to buy. ENjoy this experience with your grandmother!
@BlondeBee: I actually went and tried on dresses in Moose Creek (a small town not to far out of the city) at Alliance (French name). A lot of people from the city go to find their dresses there because their service is so good and they have a good selection. It's also a nice little day trip. They had my dream dress there, but I didn't try it on there, I tried it somewhere else and ended up buying it there (for $700 for a princess ballgown!).
If you don't want to leave the city though, I can ask some of my friends where they tried on dresses in the city.
@HelleCat: Plenty of people go look at dresses without buying them - to see what looks good, to get a feel for what they like, etc. It's a big purchase, you want to "shop around" and explore your options. Plus, OP could walk in and try on her dream gown and end up buying it, she won't know until she looks. Plus, sharing the experience with her grandma is awesome. I think if a bridal salon or salesperson's future depends on one sale, there's other issues they need to be tackling.
@atlbride2013: Very true - I have no problem buying a dress if I fell in love with it. If it wasn't something I could find here in Pittsburgh, I'd be ready to buy. My parents live much closer to Ottawa, and could pick it up when it comes in. I never ruled out buying if I found "the one," I just think the chances of me finding a dress on the first shot is highly unlikely. I am a thorough shopper, and don't make big decisions quickly.
@HelleCat: I definitely understand your point of view. But plenty of brides don't find a dress on the first go-round. I wouldn't rule out buying one, though. I apologize if my first post made it sound that way. I guess I should have explained that while I HIGHLY doubt I would buy on my first trip (hence me having no intention) there's a possibility (albeit small) that I would.
I think this is totally fine. I did this with my grandma and actually ended up finding the dress, but waited until i could try it on with my parents.
I went many times to try on dresses by myself, or with one other person who wasn't my mom with no intention of buying. I just wanted to rule out dresses I like and styles. I think you should feel no pressure to pretend like you are there to buy a gown.
Nothing wrong with it. I would just tell them to begin with that you aren't yet sure what style or anything you want in a dress yet and would like to try them on to get an idea.Maybe leave out the part where you won't be buying your dress in Canada though.
I did that at a few places and not one consultant had any issues with it. They seemed to actually really have fun with it. I had one girl that really tried to bring me out everything they had samples of in my size or close enough that i could actually try it on.
A good consultant will help, because they know that if they treat you well and offer you good service then you will remember it and either buy your dress there later on or recommend the store to friends anf family. Bad service loses the business potential customers.
If you absolutely know you won't be buying your dress from them, please don't waste their time.
It's one thing to go look and not find anything you fall in love with; but having made up your mind already that you're not going to buy from a store, it's quite rude to take up a slot that could be used by a bride who might make a purchase.
Nah, I don't think it's wrong. You might buy it if it's really amazing, or it might inspire you towards the one you want to buy, right?
You don't need to commit to buying to try clothing on. I know bridal dress shopping is more intensive on the service end, but t's not like you're pretending to get married just to try on dresses or something.
I think it's fine. Most brides (at least from reading this site) don't buy on their first appointment anyway. So you would either be having your first appointment at home or at your grandma's, I don't see the difference.
I think that as long as you have an open mind about MAYBE buying a dress if you put it on and realize it's your dream dress, then hey, why the heck not? Or maybe be open to buying an accessory or something, if you like something they have. But I think there are plenty of brides who go in and just do not find anything that sparks their fancy, walk out empty-handed and consultants must face that all the time.
If you are absolutely not going to buy a dress, don't waste the sales person's time.
If you may actually purchase something, go for it.
@joya_aspera: Exactly. As I said, if I find something totally amazing, I'd buy. But, knowing me, I likely wouldn't on the first trip. This would hold true for any salon, in any location. I like to "sleep on" big decisions, and I think this qualifies as one.
i dont tihnk its a big issue, plenty of people go to more than one shop to get a feel of whats out there, and they cant buy from all of them!
as for taking up a time slot - maybe its different in US but even in london, its not super hard to get an appointment with a wedding dress shop. slightly busier on a saturday,sure, but its not like theyre as precious as gold dust - and someone taking one means another bride is sabotaged forever and will never find a dress herself. also most sales assistants in london arent on commission, and couldnt give two hoots what you buy,but again, maybe thats a cultural difference and its more common for sales assistants in US to be on commision
i mean i went to more than one shop, and i dont feel i wasted the time of the consultants, anymore than when looking for houses i feel i wasted the time of the person who showed me around houses that i ultimately didnt buy
who knows you might find the dress you love and buy it. I knwo I'll make an appt not knowing I'll buy that day or not.
The white dress is right down the street from Mia bridal. They both carry Legends too (from a post I saw of yours) but each can only carry certain styles so to see the whole collection you would have to go both stores.
I dont think its wrong for your to go with your grandma even though you dont plan to buy from there..
I'd say it's totally fine. Buying a dress is a process--you don't just make an appointment and buy one on sight most of the time. The people running the stores know that, and ultimately, they benefit from being a part of the process.
You might find a dress you love so much that you order it. Even if you don't, you can always refer friends to a shop that you liked, or buy an accessory there, or have alterations done there if you had a great experience in a boutique. Basically, it gives the shop a chance to show you what they have to offer, and you get to evaluate whether or not that's what you want.
If you're really worried about wasting their time, go in and then write up a nice review on Yelp or any other review site. That will bring business into their shop, and is good for everyone.
@jdhall89: The idea of writing a positive review on Yelp is FANTASTIC. I feel like that's a fair trade for their time -- you're boosting their brand.
And yes, OP, as long as you keep an open mind, aren't a complete high-maintenence diva who takes the salespeople's time from other customers, and don't stay for hours and hours playing dress-up, it's legit. I tried on dresses in three states, and only purchased one. I think everyone in that biz knows that there's no guarantee of a sale.
I think it's a great idea and sweet of you to do this because you want to share the experience with her.
If you're like me though and always feel the need to be honest with salespeople that you're not buying just looking, I suggest you just mention that your date is too far in the future for you to buy right now (you want to avoid dress regret) but you're getting a feel for different styles/designers. I wouldn't mention your purpose for making an appointment is to share the dress fitting experience with your grandma.
Where I work clients waste our time almost everyday. They come with no intention of buying what we sell for the price we sell it at, yet they talk to our sales staff over the phone for hours and make meetings and waste so much of our time. It's annoying, but it's a reality of business.
I say go in to whatever store you want and try on dresses, even if you do not think you'll buy anything. Hey, it still gives the sales people there a shot at making a sale, even if it's not likely.
I was very up front on my first couple appointments that I more than likely wasn't going to buy that day, I was still a long way from my wedding and I was just looking to get ideas of what looks good, what looks bad, what I like, what I hate, etc. I don't think the sales people were too miffed. When you work in sales, you're trained to push past the "just looking", and in bridal shops you're really halfway there already because the customers come specifically to see their body in a gown, and once the customer puts the item on they're a lot more likely to fall in love and buy. There's always a potential for them to close the sale that day, even if you don't think you're ready to buy, and that alone should mean they provide good service.
If you are giving them a chance to wow you, then I don't see a problem with it. However, if a bride already has a dress, or is dead-set on buying a china knockoff, I think it's wrong. The store has to pay wages, overhead, and the dresses that are being tried on are not "free samples". The store has to pay for them. It may not seem like a big problem, but multiply that times 500 tire kickers per season and you have trashed inventory that no one is buying. That can spell bankruptcy if it happens to much. I'm an inventory liquidator that specializes in selling off inventory on behalf of stores that have gone under. it's heartbreaking to watch a store owner lose their dream. The vast majority aren't out to rip anyone off or jack up prices.
anyway.....
My point is that if you have even the slightest possibility of purchasing from them, then go for it :)
I didn't read every reply, but just wanted to add something that wasn't in the first five or so... I would say given no intention to buy just make sure you stick within a reasonable appointment time 60-90 minutes, that way you aren't cutting into another opportunity for the person to make a sale.
Otherwise I think it's just like shopping as you would anywhere, I had 5 bridal appointments this week, with no intention to buy, because a BM was in town. I'll buy eventually, but this was the right time to do a "wedding" thing.
Aren't you taking up the same amount of time if you went into the store, tried on a bunch of dresses and still didn't buy because you didn't find anything? At some point, she's going to have to start trying on dresses and she's probably not going to find THE dress on the very first shopping trip.
Haha, I did this. A lot. mostly cause I had to find a style that looked good on me, but my MOH lives 4 hours away and when she came down we went just so she could input on dress style.
well I actually went on trying on dresses before I was financially able to buy a dress. But it helped me to understand what I want, what suits me etc. And my experience was very pleasant - no consultant pressured me in buying a dress, almost everyone told me to go home, look at the pictures and it would help me understand better. My case was that almost every dress looked good on me ( im not bragging, it was surprise to me actually because) so it was hard to decide what I actually like.
Last time I went shoping without intentions buying a dress, loved it but it was out of my price range. next day I got money, went back just to try it on again and got it with very nice discount :D
You may get there, find an extremely discounted dress and end up buying, dont rule out anything with wedding dress shoppng. I went dress shoppng with my mum not planning to buy anything in the boutique, little did i know she was going to put down the seposit!!!
Surprised this thread is still alive! So I didn't end up buying anything at that first shopping trip, but it's because I honestly wasn't impressed with anything I tried on, as many bees suggested could be the case. I bought my dress a few months later while shopping on my own. Yay!
@julnecaaaa: I want to see the dress you chose! Can you make a post?
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Hi Bees,
I need your help on a somewhat sticky situation. I live about 9 hours from my grandparents, and I'll be up visiting them over the Christmas/Boxing Day holidays. My grandma is beyond excited that I got engaged, and even called me to hear the whole story and talk about the wedding and my fiance. I've always been close to her, and I would love nothing more than to share some wedding experiences with her, especially since I don't think she will be able to come to the wedding (they live in Ottawa, and don't travel to the states anymore.)
My question is: is it totally wrong and in bad taste to make an appointment at a salon to try on dresses so I can share that experience with her? I don't think I'd by in Canada, only because the taxes are higher than where I live, and I'd pick a salon that carried dresses I could find locally. It would mean so much to us to have her share a special moment of wedding planning, but I'm just not sure if it's totally rude and bad form to go to a place just to try on, and not buy. I know plenty of brides don't find a dress at the first salon they go to, but I figured I'd ask the community and get your input.
Thanks in advance for any words of advice!