(Closed) Trying to be happy for newly engaged friends….

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I know it’s a struggle for you since you wrote this post, but your relationship is not in competition with other people’s and you need to stop thinking about it that way. Other people getting engaged has no bearing on whether or not you get engaged. I know you feel like you are old to be unmarried, but you aren’t, and one year is not very long. You know it’s moving in that direction; don’t rush things. Let him propose when he’s ready. I don’t think you’re in a position where a timeline or ultimatum or deadline or anything like that is necessary. just relax and enjoy the relatonship and try not to get so worked up about it that you end up accidentally creating distance between you and your SO. it’ll happen!

Post # 5
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012



 “What really got to me was that the one friend who did get engaged last night…her and her boyfriend have been dating maybe 6-7 months, they’re  living together, and have had a fairy tale romance…they’re so happy together.  Why can’t I have that? Why do I have to be the girl who found a stubborn pig headed bachelor who wants to take things really slow”

fairy tale romance.? really? what does that mean anyway, stop comparing ur relationship with other people. Everybody is different, and who really knows if they are super happy as they seem. Some people take is slow, some super fast. Just talk with him,and tell him how you feel. Tell him that if you really see yourself married to him and being the father of your children, doesn’t he feel like that as well?

You also say” He wont tell me he wants to spend his life with me, ” but then contradict yourself with  “So if we know we love each other, and want to share our lives, why wait any longer?”.. which one is it? does he tell you or not.


Good luck!

Post # 7
699 posts
Busy bee

@mrsSonthebeach:  I agree with PP, it’s like trying to control time, or space, it just isn’t done. Your man will propose when the time is right. I know irt’s frustrating, i’m also in my 30’s and we’ve been together for 3+ years. We have everythging BUT  a marriage, lol. Just know that he does have a plans and when he’s ready, you’ll get the dream propsal, oh and don’t stress over other peoples lives. you can only control your own, go to the weddings, if ur invited and get him in the mood, show him how fun it can be lol

Post # 8
483 posts
Helper bee

@RoseTylerWannabee:  I know EXACTLY how you feel! I’ve been dating my SO for five years…nothing. and I’m 30, so I’m beginning to worry that I’m gonna be an old spinster cat lady. And I don’t even like cats. And just like you, EVERYONE seems to be getting engaged/married. Just last week, I went to my SO’s cousin’s wedding…. and the bride was F-ing 19. I felt like a chaperone at a highschool prom. Oh, and in two weeks is the other cousin’s wedding. And guess what? I’ve been dating my SO longer than they’ve even known their FIs! WTF?!?!?!?!

Post # 9
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Yup I know how you feel. Just recently we have decided to move the marriage process along. I am just waiting for my SO to propose(we bought the ring together) but that’s after almost 6 years of dating. Recently my bestie met a new boyfriend, a few months later got pregnant and is now married after less than a year of knowing him. And then there’s me :(. I’m glad that my wait will be over shortly but I know exactly how your feel. 

Have you tried talking to him about it? I was very vocal on my feelings about marriage. Maybe he just needs a good loving talking too. 

Good luck and hang in there!!

Post # 10
121 posts
Blushing bee

@RoseTylerWannabee:  Deep breaths. I know it is definitely frustrating watching other relationships move along and you feel like yours is stuck in neutral. I’ve felt like that myself, especially last summer. Its helped that we’re living together now.

If you want advice, be patient (easier said than done, I know!). You don’t want to ever feel like you’re forcing him into anything. If you’re just venting, thats okay – you’re not alone. But like the others have written, it’s tough to compare your relationship to others bc everyone is different. Enjoy it for what it is now.

I keep telling myself that the waiting will all be worth it in the end. 🙂

Post # 12
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

As someone who had to wait too, my suggestion is stop focusing on getting engaged and just enjoy being in a relationship with your SO. When I look back on all the moments that I ruined because I was impatient, I want to kick myself because I spoiled what could have been beautiful moments for nothing. Trust me, you will regret your moping around about the engagement if you continue to act like this. I know it’s hard, but take this time to do stuff you enjoy outside the engagement craze and focus on the positives of your life. You have a wonderful relationship with someone who loves you and wants to be with you. And it’s hard, but try to disregard the engagements around you. Everyone follows a different timeline. I’ve been with my Fiance for 6 years and it took him 11 months to propose! Sucks when you see someone dating for 6months get engaged. But you get over it and move on!

Ask your SO for a timeline, then drop the subject and continue with your life. Try new hobbies, exercise, meet with friends, and so many other stuff you could be doing instead of feeling sorry for yourself. You don’t have anything to feel bad about. Keep busy and focus on the good! Soon enough you’ll be the one engaged! Trust in that fact and just be happy until it happens!

Post # 13
1013 posts
Bumble bee

You will be thankfull you waited patiently after he proposes. 

And make sure you are genuinely happy for those around you getting married. My FI’s brother has been dating his Girlfriend longer and she is older than us. She has been less than warming when announcing our engagement. You can see her desperation all over her face. 

Post # 14
1586 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My attitude has always been “if it is the person you want to spend your life with and you are already with them, what’s the problem?” You’ll hopefully get your chance and it will be amazing. But you’ve only been together a year. This isn’t a 6 year thing where you’re getting antsy.


I do totally get it though. I finally got engaged about 2 1/2 months ago after being with my now Fiance for SEVEN years. We were waiting until we were more financially stable and I understand. I have the “we’re together, we’ll wait” mentality. But even then you get antsy. Especially when four friends ended up getting engaged and married in a 1 year period. My only consolation is that I know for a fact 2 of those marriages are going to crash and burn magnificently (one was a 3 month dating period where they both just wanted a kid and the other, he cheated on her a week before propsing).

You’ll get your chance. In the meantime, be happy for them. 

Post # 15
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

hey chick, when you been waiting 5 years give me a call..

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