Trying to compromise between "eloping" and a wedding

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@briggsfan0224:  Your post “elopement” reception can be whatever you want it to be. My BFF had a semi-destination wedding with just 8 guests (immediate family + me & my SO). They then had a reception back home that was basically like any formal reception without dancing. (Rented a hall, had a cocktail hour, lunch, cake, speeches.) But you could have just a BBQ  if that’s what you want. Have some lawn games or just blast some music. It’s just a party! Think of it like any holiday BBQ— you wouldn’t worry that people would “get bored” at your Labor Day BBQ, would you? No. They are going to eat, talk, drink… nothing is different just because you happen to have gotten married. 

As for room blocks, that is something nice to do for your guests if you have a lot of people coming from out of town. It usually gets a slight discount on the rooms. However, it is not necessary even if you were having a traditional wedding. Don’t sweat it. People can google a hotel themselves. 

Post # 4
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Seriously, do it. Hubbs wanted a wedding, I wanted to elope. Pretty much every day since our wedding he’s told me that I was right and we should have eloped. 

The whole point is to make this as simple as possible. Don’t bother with room blocks. People are more than capable of booking a hotel. Borrow a bunch of crock pots, make a shit-ton of pulled pork and baked beans, Buy some buns and some veggie trays. Worried about boring people? Get a keg. Seriously.

People just simply won’t be bored if there are other people to talk to, some music in the background, simple food and a wedding album to pass around. 

We did two (2!!!) post-wedding BBQs and they both worked out great and were nice and simple. Everyone had a good time and all was grand. I’m so glad we didn’t stress about them (the wedding, on the other hand…)

Post # 5
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@briggsfan0224:  first and foremost I see this is your DEBUT post, so a BIG Welcome to “The Hive”

Mr TTR & I Eloped to a Destination Wedding (just the 2 of us saying our Vows on a Beautiful Beach) then we went on our Honeymoon… and after all that we had a Back Home Reception

It was great… we had the Wedding we wanted (we are both Encores) and yet we still had time to celebrate with Family & Friends too… the best of BOTH Worlds, and fairly low stress

When it comes to a Back Home Reception or Post Wedding Celebration you can make it however you like… there are no HUGE Rules from an Etiquette POV.  You can go BIG or Small, Formal or Informal, Wedding-like or not.  The choice is yours.

Backyard Receptions can be AWESOME… one of the Blogging Bees MRS BEANSTALK had one last year that was fabulous, I’ll see if I cannot find the link for you…

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Ooops, I meant MRS DRAGON… here you go to the links to her various Blog Entries = http://www.weddingbee.com/author/msdragon/#axzz2k63qg4Bf

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 6
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Apart from the fact that a relatively intimate, family only wedding isn’t an elopement – because that’s what we had and for sure we did not elope! – I think what you plan is a great compromise. I’d aim at keeping any post-wedding celebration as informal as possible though and that avoids hotel blocks and the like. A BBQ would be great and lay in supplies of wine and beer. Stick some music on an iPod and don’t worry about people being bored either. 

Post # 7
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Steampunkbride:  An elopement doesn’t necessarily mean just bride and groom.  In Oregon, you have to have 2 witnesses; doesn’t make it any less an elopement.

 

Post # 8
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Kimberley25:  Fair point. But a small, family only wedding ceremony is not necessarily an elopement either. We didn’t elope. We just had an intimate ceremony because of the capacity of the venue.

Post # 9
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No one needs to do a room block. Some couples do it because they think they can get a discount for their guests. Some do it because they want all their guests staying close together for issues like visiting and shuttles.

Your guests are adults and presumaby most of them have travelled before. They can make their own reservations, and often can get a cheaper rate online than you can get them in a room block. Some guests appreciate it if you can recommend hoels in several different price categories.

You don’t need to plan anything other than good food and beverages for your guests. People love to socialize. If the weather is good and it is an outdoor wedding, you could have some games available like croquet, bocce etc.

You can still do the speeches, cake cutting, the bouquet and garter toss if you likethat sort of thing.

Post # 10
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Steampunkbride:  I agree.  My first marriage was an intimate wedding (about 20 guests), my second an elopement.

Post # 11
Member
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I like the idea of the reception after for the family folks. There’s no reason you can’t have both. Also, what about a really casual, non traditional wedding (without all the room blocking, etc) where you just let people know your plan and invite them to tag along if they wish?

Post # 12
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@briggsfan0224:  Do a destination wedding where you live.  You get the small all-in-one intimate feeling, but you can still invite a close group of family and friends.  If you still want to you can have a larger casual party afterward.

Post # 13
Member
397 posts
Helper bee

@AdriannaJean:  

Hahahahah you’re hilarious

“Worried about boring people? Get a keg. Seriously.”

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