Post # 1
Am I wrong to do this?? My friend (actually FI’s best friend/man) sent him a link to a diamond he was looking at to ask his opinion. It was a 1.6ct pretty good quality about 13k for the diamond alone. FI tried to tell him that was a LOT to spend on a ring, but he said that’s what he was saving for. We are pretty sure that means he is going to wipe out his account and spend just about every last time he has on this. Not a good idea right??? I know its none of our business and he can spend his money any way he sees fit, but it just not the best financial move. Should we just butt out? Or continue to try to talk him into something more reasonable. (I also realize reasonable is subjective to area… they are not in a major city, and are currently in Montana) Not to say people in Montana dont have nice big rings, but I think its overkill, and that the girl would think he is CRAZY for spending that much on a ring, especially if she normally doesnt wear any jewlery. She has NO idea he is ring shopping.. so they have no discussed what she might want.
Help!! Thoughts?? Stay out? Or keep trying to talk him into something more reasonable?
Post # 3
I would just stay out of it. It’s his money, he can spend it as he likes. Even though I feel like you’re right, it’s a bad idea to wipe out your bank account for a piece of jewelry.
Post # 4
Not a good financial idea, but it’s his decision to make in the end. I think you should let him know your opinion to try and steer him in the right direction, but don’t harp on him about it. It’s his money and he can spend it whatever way he wants.
Post # 5
“Should we just butt out?”
Post # 6
Don’t tell him not to. You’re right that it’s none of your business. Whether it’s an engagement ring or something else, what he spends his money on is up to him. However, since he did ask for your FI’s opinion, I don’t think a comment to the effect of “that’s really nice, but have you considered XYZ option, too?” and then point him in the direction of Blue Nile.
Also, your inclusion of the information about her not knowing that he is ring shopping is so weddingbee influenced. It is not unusual for guys to just propose on their own without a waiting period or without her say in the ring! To that information, I say, so what?
Post # 7
I also think its best to stay out of it unless he is explicitly asking you guys for your opinions.
Post # 8
Agree with PP’s, absolutely none of your business.
Post # 9
yeah, i’d butt out. if he’s looking for help on what’s appropriate or expected, you can help clarify the debeers myths (ex. should cost 3 months salary), but i wouldn’t tell him that what he wants to get her is too expensive.
Post # 10
Yeah, sorry, not your place. It sounds like he asked for an opinion about the diamond and your FI already mentioned the cost being a lot, so at this point, it’s his money to spend. For a pretty good quality diamond of that size, 13K doesn’t seem completely off (of course, that’s subjective). I would only interject strongly if you feel as if he’s being ripped off for the diamond quality he would be receiving.
Post # 11
Well, hes asking for opinions on a specific diamonds he’s picking out. He’s also never stepped foot in a store to see what stones of certains sizes actually look like, so he doesnt know what little size difference you see in sz vs the exponential increase in price.
Post # 12
This is none of your business. A few family members tried to talk DH out of buying me the ring that I have and it completely pissed him off, not to mention me. He spent most of his savings on my ring and we still managed to have a beatiful wedding and buy a very nice home. It’s one thing if you have a good jewler that you want to recommend who might be able to give him a better deal on the ring that he wants (not the one you want him to buy). Also if it’s a flawless D diamond, 13k is a reasonable market price.
Post # 13
Sorry – it’s totally not your business – stay out of it!
Post # 14
I would stay out of it if possible, its his money that he worked very hard to earn and he wishes to spend it on a piece of jewerly to show his committment even though most people would probably put it towards a downpayment for something. Instead of telling him he’s spending to much. Maybe mention he should shop around for diamond prices since most places mark their diamonds up 200-300% he can really find a good deal for what he’s looking for. Just because its a good deal doesn’t make the diamond any less special… (check online theres a ton of BBB qualified vendors that sell diamonds at a less marked up price)’
theres http://www.since1910.com they have pretty good prices and they give discount to people in the military
Post # 15
Send him some links to Good Old Gold, Whiteflash and Blue Nile, then let him do is thing.
Post # 16
I kind of disagree. It’s not really your place, but I think you should at least tell the guy that he should talk to his girlfriend about ring sizes and styles. Some women wouldn’t want a ring that large, and some might be upset that so much money was spent. This might just be me, but I think this is a huge financial decision. I wouldn’t buy a car or a flat screen even without talking to my FH about it. I don’t get why this is any different.