Are my bridesmaids' gifts tacky?
more by newbee bride
No older images
Need better ways to handle our how-we-met story...
more in Family
getting your feelings hurt over wedding reactions?
UGH!! Im Catholic, he is not PLUS....
more in Boards
Bridesmaid or photographer? & who do I choose??!

Trying to figure out in-laws

posted 2 years ago in Family
  •  
    1.
    Member Icon
    Member
    32 posts
    Newbee
    newbee bride    September 2010  

    When we first started planning our wedding, our families gave us $30K for our wedding. We were thrilled at the generous gift! Since my fiance and I are struggling financially at the moment, we decided to spend much less than $30K. At first we aimed for $10K (not including the honeymoon), but my in-laws kept insisting that wasn't feasible (we're in the LA area, and the average is about $30K.) They kept harping on us about how we shouldn't embarrass the family with a cheap wedding. My fiance's sister got married on a $40K budget and the family kept talking about her wedding as if that's how much we should spend. Since the family is putting in a lot of money toward the wedding, we thought we'd try to achieve an elegant wedding but keep costs down as much as possible. We told them we would shoot for a $10K wedding with a $5K buffer. They made remarks that if we worked with that budget, then we would resign ourselves a small, cheap-looking wedding. We told them we would prove them wrong.

    Now, a few months into planning, we booked all of our major vendors. We're over our initial plan of $10K by $2K at $12K, but including our honeymoon to Hawaii, we're still under our $15K maximum.  We got an elegant venue, the church wedding, the DJ, fine food, photographer, videographer, hotel rooms for our wedding party and wedding coordinator for much less than what everyone thought we would spend. But instead of my in-laws being happy we're saving money, they're making comments about how they're disappointed we're going over our initial $10K budget. They have nothing nice to say about our choice of vendors, even though they all come with great references and reviews.  First they say we're spending way too little.  Now they say we're spending too much. What's the deal? Am I missing something here, or can they not be happy with anything we do?

     
    2.
    Hostess
    3,751 posts
    Honey bee
    ccranetobe    August 14, 2010  

    First I would like to say.. No one understands inlaws...

    second of all.. they might have bought something else because you were shooting for a low budget could be a possibility

    Third. Dont get too worked up over it, you cant please everyone. I take this motto with me everywhere now. Before I was like oh but they may not like that, or they dont like that. Well shoot, if I like it.. i will have it if its in my budget.

    I dont think think your stepping on anyones toes. But good luck. I think its a great gesture that your going under budget :)

     
    3.
    Member
    3,006 posts
    Sugar bee
    littlemissmoo    July 18, 2010   London, UK

    Don't get too worked up over it. It sounds like your in-laws are comparing your wedding to your FSIL's and not understanding that you can have a wedding on a budget. Your having the wedding of your dreams and are still under your $15K budget. That's something to be really proud of.

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    MissBoPeep 94
    ndreighton 76
    hisgoosiegirl 56
    beargoose 55
    Mrs.KMM 46
    akp0702 42
    BetterSherm 42
    MrsBlueSeptember 41
    MrsPom 37
    Beckster329 37

    Family

    User Posts Today
    mslovely 9
    Rojocameo 9
    keranos 7
    armychica06 4
    bricon 4
    EricaBee 4
    honeybee1999 4
    Rel91 3
    KitKatNYC 2
    thursdayschild 2
    More