- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
In university, I had a big groups of friends with four specific girls that I was especially close to (they weren’t as close to each-other). When school ended, we mostly when our own ways as far as different citys, careers, marrying, etc. One girl and I have remained close. I haven’t spoken to two of the others in a couple years; both friendships ended poorly.
Recently, one of the girls (Laura) has contacted me. We got in a fight a couple years ago when she blew me off repeatedly and when I expressed hurt, told me I didn’t know anything about her problems. I’ve contacted her a few times since then (to invite her to my wedding, etc.) but she’s been mostly cold and distant. I hadn’t heard from her in about a year when she emailed me out-of-the-blue. Her message was mostly nostalgic though she expressed confusion about why our friendship had soured and questioned some of my words/actions. I remember a lot of the situations she described differently, and her words seemed to shift a lot of blame on me (she claims I said things I doubt I did).
I’m not sure how to answer her, or if I should. I’ve considered these friendships over for a long time, and I’m really not a fan of resurrecting a dead friendship (ie. rehashing events I know we won’t agree on, making stilted conversation, etc.). I felt like I had closure given that we’ve not spoken in over a year, but her confusion and accusations have really bothered me. I don’t know how to respond in a manner that doesn’t address her questions directly by explaining the holes in her memory.
My sister said I should respond only by saying that it’s nice to hear from her, that I’m glad she’s doing well and that I’m sorry the friendship ended the way it did. Or don’t respond at all.