Weddingbee boards

It has been quite a while since I've spoken with my fellow bees.  I wish was under more cheerful circumstances.

My FI and I had a couple of blows with family illnesses in the past month.  His mom has been in-and-out of the hospital over the past couple of months with severe emphysema.  My dad just was in the hospital last month with bacterial pneumonia.  FI's mom isn't doing well. My dad will recover, but it could take up to a year.  Both are on oxygen, and it breaks my heart to see them like this.

Initially FI and I weren't going to accept $ help from our families, but we accepted the offer because we were trying recover from some bills when FI was out of work most of last year.

Now that FI's mom and my dad aren't working, I can't expect them to keep a financial promise that will be a hardship.  I canceled our venue today.  Lost our deposit. At this point, we'll have the wedding at a family farm about 1 1/2 hours away.  We cut our list down to immediate family and about 20 friends.  We'll probably just do a pig roast or some kind of bbq.

I have been in tears today just trying to figure out how to make something work.  I would just feel horribly embarassed postponing the wedding since all of our family knows the date already.  I'm sure it will work itself out, but we were trying to stay on such a tight budget to begin with. 

I guess the next step will be selling my dress and shoes.  They just don't work for a backyard wedding.  I hope it can cover the cost of an informal dress.  I have been looking but being plus-size has been a huge disadvantage.

Anyways, thanks for listening.  Sometimes it helps just helps to talk.

i am so sorry you are having such a hard time and I hope that everyone is doing ok. 

My advice is to have a super small wedding and then later in the year have a bigger reception. Don't look at it like you are postponing or canceling...because you are not, you are just changing plans!  Have your wedding the original date and change it to immediate family, close friends. Tell everyone else that becasue of family illness, you are having something more intimate, but that you plan on having a big reception/party later in the year to celebrate. 

This way you can keep your original wedding date, get married with your nearest and dearest, but still celebrate later on with everyone else, so it's the best of both worlds.   You can save up money for a fun and casual reception and take your time doing it.

I also second Ms. Meowerson... if you love it, wear your dress!  Don't let a casual venue dictate what you wear, it's your wedding and you can wear anything!

Thanks for the encouraging words everyone.  Having our family there is the most important thing, so we agree that changing the "how" and "where" is better than "when". 

I am going to just sell the dress and shoes.  While both are beautiful, the shoes are not "field friendly" and the dress is a heavy fabric with a built-in crinoline (oh dear, I don't even know if I spelled that correctly), and it would still need to be altered.  Since I'll be outside most of the day and it's a July wedding, it may be better to find something more comfortable.  I have been trying to find a tea length dress or something light & flowing.  I feel selfish selling it because I always intented to gift it to a bee-in-need after my wedding.  I have always donated my formal dresses to Cinderella's Closet (for girls who can't afford prom gowns). 

At least flowers for the wedding won't be a problem...I'll just pick wildflowers the morning of the wedding.  There's plenty around the farmhouse . 

First,  I am so sorry for you and your family.  I pray that they will be better soon.  I can only imagine how hard it was for you to do those things you did today. 

HUNNY KEEP THAT DRESS AND WEAR IT PROUDLY!! It will be just fine, throw on a pair of flippity flops and rock it!!

@Soon2beeMrsM:  Thank you so much for posting that link!  This has given me tons of inspiration.  I love the grilling idea.  My grandpa has one of those huge, monster grills.  I wonder if we could rent a trailer to get it up to the farm for the weekend.  I'd be a little nervous about the propane tanks, but maybe we could just buy those up there.  Hmmm...new ideas are starting to take seed.  Without the photo booth, this could be do-able.  Maybe we could buy some instamatic cameras (I hear those are being made again), or see if my neighbor could build one of those homemade photobooths.

@DRaeH2W:  I am so sorry to hear about your dad.  I'll keep you family in my prayers.

We got Dad's follow-up prognosis this week.  He will need to retire from his job.  The scarring on his lungs  is likely permanent so he will need to remain on oxygen from now on.  Thankfully, he can start backing off of steriods slowly.  On a bright note, someone contacted him from his union about helping teach classes.  It's not consistent work, but I think he would really enjoy it.

I did put my dress up for sale.  Originally, I really wanted to go a different route. I had picked out a red dress that I was going to have cherry blossom embroidery placed on the skirt, and it still needs a fair amount of alterations.  I know it would make Dad happy to see me in a more traditional dress, though.  I just can't imagine putting any more money into this dress when it just doesn't feel right anymore.

I stopped in David's Bridal a couple of days ago on a lark. Found a couple of dresses I really loved.  Both are are sale, but still out of the budget @ $299.  I think they are discontinued styles, so I don't know if I could try to negotiate on the price.  If my dress and shoes sell, it would help close the gap to something managable.  I was kind-of surprised I really liked the dresses.  I'll probably need some alterations, though.  I will see if the costume mistress at my college could do the alteration work.  She made some lovely custom aprons for me for Christmas presents a couple of years ago.  If David's does't work out, I hope a bee will sell one of them during the next couple of months.  I did put up a wanted posting on the classifieds.

If anyone happens to see either of these for sale for $200 or less, would you let me know. 

David's Bridal 9T9861 in Ivory Size 20 (thanks to another bee who posted this pic)

David's Bridal 9E8787 in Ivory/Champagne Size 22 (I already contacted a bee who was selling this, but I haven't heard back from her in a couple of days)

Thanks again for the enouragement and inspiration everyone.  I am a very grateful bee