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TT? Does your mom know?

posted 1 year ago in Babies
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    Blushing bee
    wbrn    September 2009   Minny

    My mom keeps asking me if SO & I are gonna start "trying" I always tell her soon, to which she will reply, when you do, will you please tell me? Why is it such a big deal that she know if me and hubs are doing the deed? should I feel uncomfortable?

     
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    Sugar bee
    panterapeach    April 2011  

    yeah, my mom doesnt know.

    actually no one knows.  I actually think the idea of telling people you are trying IRL is kinda weird. I dunno it's like saying... yeah Im going to be having sex....A LOT of it.

    lol!

     
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    Honey bee
    mightywombat    June 25, 2011   Massachusetts

    Oy.  Talk about Not Her Business!

    Can you just say that you do not feel comfortable sharing something so intimate?  That if and when you and your partner are TTC, it will be a very private matter, and not one that you want anyone else keeping track of? ("So, how'd it go this month? Knocked up yet?")

    Of course, if she were someone who would take that well, she probably wouldn't be asking you these questions in the first place.

     
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    Zinzerena    April 14, 2012   Virginia

    @wbrn: My mom keeps wanting to know when I am gonna be pregnant and if I am.  *rolls eyes*  So I didn't tell her until the 2nd trimester... and by a card... left in the bathroom... after I left for work... so what?!?!?  I didn't even know till the 2nd trimester due to my gallbladder freaking out on me! 

    Seriously, though, I'd tell her that it isn't any of her business and you'll tell her when you are pregnant.  That SHOULD solve the problem.  Hopefully.

    Personally, I've told a few female friends who are also my best friends because sometimes, I just need a female to confide in! LOL!  HOWEVER, I'm not about to tell EVERYONE that we're trying, since they don't need to know. 

     

     
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    Busy bee
    Lindsay05    August 21, 2010   Canada

    Yeah that's too weird!!I will feel uncomfortable knowing that she will know that we were doing it when we do get pregnant. 

     
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    Buzzing bee
    regberadaisy    August 14, 2010  

    My mommy knows. She's actually the first person I told. I'm her only daughter!

    And she will absolutely be the first person we tell when I'm pregnant!

    And in Chinese customs there's a ton of things you have to do while pregnant and after delivery that she needs to start prepping for as soon as I'm pregnant.

    I have to admit some of her suggestions are hilarious!

     
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    Buzzing bee
    egb    January 2010  

    My mom doesn't know. She knows it's "soon", but that's the extent of it. She asked if I was off the pill yet, I said no, even if I have been for over a month now. We don't want anyone to know until we're expecting a baby and we're sure it's hanging tight.

     
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    Busy bee
    harmonyeee    May 8, 2009  

    my mom didn't know. we have a great relationship, but we do not talk about sex so it didn't seem right AT ALL to tell her when we were TTC. she probably just wants to know because she's so excited to become a grandma! maybe you could tell her that you're both really excited to become parents, but just want to see what happens. it will be nice to surprise her when the time comes if she doesn't know exactly what's happening now.

    ps. even though i'm 28 and have been with my husband for years, there's still a part of me that felt weird telling my parents i was pregnant! it was like announcing to them that yes, we do the deed! clearly, they know that, but it was still a teeny tiny bit weird :P

     
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    Helper bee
    Ms. Peach    September 24, 2011   Chicago

    My mom is the type that will want to be all up in our business too. Even though she'll try to be laid back about it, I know it will be killing her to hold back on questions. When that time comes I will probably tell her "we're just letting things happenon their own time" or something like that, so she, (and I), can be chill. Because she can stress me out no matter how good her intentions are.

     
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    Bumble bee
    spraguebride    August 8, 2009   Bothell, WA

    I think that it may just be her way of wanting to know what to expect. I don't think you need to tell her when you are actually trying....in terms of it feeling private and intimate. But maybe you can just tell her that you think you will be ready _____ (in a few months, in 6 months, this year)

    I understand why it would make you uncomfortable....but from another angle...she may be eager and excited and wanting to know when she can expect an exciting announcement of a grandbaby on the way.

    If you and your mom are close enough that you feel comfortable, maybe you can just give her a general idea of when you will be ready. But you don't have to call her and say "ok, THIS is the month!"  :-)

     
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    Busy bee
    MzMarzipan    July 24, 2010   Califonia

    I don't discuss the details of my sex life with my mom; however, she (and almost everyone else I know) knew we were TTC.  My husband and I were together for 7+ years before we got married and I think every knew we were ready for kids.  I didn't really keep it a secret that I was going off the pill right after the wedding.  It didn't make me uncomfortable to talk about it.

     
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    Honey bee
    yrret107    November 28, 2009   Seattle, WA; Married in West Chester, PA

    I'm not that close with my mom.  I have mentioned in the past that we are thinking about it happening in the next year or so.

    I am close with my sister but I am still hesitant in telling anyone that we are because I don't want people constantly asking me if we are pregnant.  I'll tell certain people that we are thinking about it but no definite dates or anything.

     
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    HappilyEverAfter54    June 23, 2012   Central Pennsylvania

    I got pregnant on accident and my mom told me before it happened she had a strange feeling I'd be having a baby soon. She knew before I did or even was... strange stuff. Kind of made me feel weird later on when we were in the act and the thought popped into my head! hahaha

     
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    colors    February 28, 2010  

    I didn't want to tell my mom we were TTC just in case it took longer then expected, I would feel pressure and I'm sure she would ask if I was pregnant yet. I found it easier just to keep it to ourselves.

    I did get pregnant and miscarried, so the next time we TTC my mom already knew I wanted to get pregnant. But she also knew not to ask about it, since I had already been through so much.

     
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    Bumble bee
    jaylovessteez    September 19, 2010   CA

    my mom always stops by the baby section and says AWWWW or when someone has a new grandbaby at work ( we work together) shes like aww i want one too!

    i haven't actually told anyone i am TTC. My cousin kind of knows, but i dont want everyone to be like well?? i tink it is personal

     

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