- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Oh honey, this is TOTALLY normal. DH and I decided to start at the 1 year mark. Well as that date approached, I started FREAKING. OUT. Like having meltdowns of epic proportion where I cried and yelled and panicked-and Im the most level headed, un-emotional, non-crier you will ever encounter lol. Its a HUGE (and thus terrifying) life decision that doesnt come easily.
For me, I was afrais of what would change...Id been set in my ways for 27 years, how would I adjust to change? Would it change mine and DH's relationship for the worse? What if he resented me or I resented him? What if I wanted to do x or y or z and couldnt because of baby? Then I realized that I cannot live my life based on the "what ifs" and that thousands of people have babies every year and make it just fine...people in worse positions than us. And I eventually calmed down.
Trust me, you'll come to peace with it, its just as the time nears, you start to REALLY analyze evrything. Try to let it go and stay calm and know that it will be ok =o)
And btw-no couple is perfect. Every single couple has ups and downs. Yes it will be rough at first with lack of sleep, etc, but the overwhelmind response is that it brings the couple closer than ever...and that makes it worth it. If every couple needed to be perfect before they had a child, there would be no children =o)
Totally normal.
I already have a son and as DH and I talk about starting to TTC all kinds of scenerio's come to thought... I find myself much more critical of how he is with our son now and everything else.
Be sure to continue talking things through with him & just remind yourself that these things are out of being hyper sensitive and not out of real problems. That he is going to be a great dad and have an amazing heart to help & care for you through pregnancy, & a heart to love and raise ya'lls child(ren).
I think its totally normal. Just be really open and honest with your other half. Tell him your fears so he can comfort you and tell you his, because he will certainly be feeling the same way.
You need to lean on eachother and give eachother support. If this is something you both really want all will be well.
GL!
also wanted to note - the 2 pps said something VERY important-you need to talk through your fears with DH. Dont keep it in. If you are anxious, chances are he is as well, but might not be showing it. You guys need to help eachother through this
Thank you ladies. I feel a bit better already. I agree that I should talk to my husband, but I just don't want to upset him. I am naturally the worrier in the relationship and I hate to get him unsettled when/if he's completely content with things.
@KellyV: "For me, I was afraid of what would change" This is really my issue, I think. I am just really scared about what will change within our relationship. It's just terribly frustrating that I keep trying to magnify all the tiny issues we have in our relationship. It's one of those ugly circles where I find something wrong, then blow it up to prove to myself that it's really an issue. This is in no way my normal thought process and it's getting annoying.
@bree72: exactly. When I finally vocalized all of these things to DH, he totally helped to calm me. Just keep telling yourself that, although things WILL change, its not necessarily for the worse. Try to think of it this way...how I look at it is, We will be working a child into our lives. Not working our lives around our child. Some poeple find that harsh, but it doesnt mean we're any less accepting, just that we will attempt to maintain US while bringing a child into that
This is so, so, so sooooo, normal! I think having a baby with someone is way more of a commitment to someone than marriage, this is just my opinion. So when you decide to take that step, it's really frightening. And you want what is bes for your future children so you can't help but evaluate/re-evaluate everything! I went through this when I first found out I was pregnant. But then I calmed down and realized he will be an amazing father. But yes, you both definitely need to sit down and talk, iron out some details and you'll be able to see more clearly.
I totally agree with KellV as well.... You two just discuss your expectations through having a new kiddo in the house (just like you do before marriage in husband/wife expections) And be sure to always make you and your husband a priority... Keeping you two strong is the BEST parenting you will ever give your child(ren)
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 94 |
| ndreighton | 76 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 56 |
| beargoose | 55 |
| Mrs.KMM | 46 |
| akp0702 | 42 |
| BetterSherm | 42 |
| MrsBlueSeptember | 41 |
| MrsPom | 37 |
| Beckster329 | 37 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| joy2011 | 4 |
| bostongirl27 | 4 |
| roxy821 | 3 |
| Running Elley | 2 |
| DHillwig | 2 |
| flamingred | 1 |
| BirdofaFeather | 1 |
| bunny | 1 |
| hergreenapples | 1 |
| trugem | 1 |
Background: My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for almost 3. We are both 27.
In the past few months, we have really put a timeline on TTC. We both want children and while we don’t necessarily have “baby fever,” we cannot see ourselves without kids and would like to start trying soon. As this timeline scoots closer and closer, though, I find myself completely terrified and uncertain about actually pulling the trigger. I feel like I am suddenly constantly nitpicking everything my husband does as well as looking for things to be wrong in our relationship. I know I am starting little fights with him for no good reason and completely panic if we have an “off” day. I feel like if we are not perfect now, then it will just get worse once we have a baby.
The thing is, we have always had a very strong and secure relationship. Of course we have our ups and downs, but neither of us has ever been unwavering in our dedication to each other. There is no reason I should feel this way (and I have never felt this way before).
I have read on here a few times that some of you ladies have felt this way before the wedding; aka fighting, nervous, irrational, etc., but I haven’t seen anyone mention these feelings before TTC. Anyone willing to give me some insight or try and calm my fears? Anyone turn into a crazy person before TTC?