(Closed) TTC after miscarriage support group

posted 5 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

It’s hard. We miscarried at 20 weeks in March. We passed our original due date just earlier this month. We have been trying 3 cycles; ever since they cleared us to start trying again. My cycles returned to normal very quickly, but the last two months they’ve been much heavier, so I’m hoping that ‘everything’ is clearing out and leaving behind healthy tissue, etc.

It’s hard. I still tear up and it’s been 5 months. I’m kind of thinking of this next cycle as #1 post miscarriage because my body has been kind of stressed out deciding if it’s pregnant, if it’s not. So, now that we are past our due date, I’m hoping we will get lucky very soon.

I still think about our little girl every day. I take each day moment by moment. Some days have more good moments than others.

Post # 4
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@knittylady:  I just wanted to send my love and my support.

I had an angel from God help me get through my miscarriage… Literally. I mean, I don’t believe angels exist, but I do believe I met this woman right when I was supposed to. This is the first time I’m telling this story on here… Some may think it’s silly but it was really powerful for me.

We got married in March. I got a BFP in April. On April 15, which was a Sunday, I started bleeding and miscarried at 5 weeks (early, I know…). That makes my LMP March 11.

On that Tuesday (2 days later), it was OB day at work. Perfect timing, right?

We were just about to leave for the day when a nurse walks up and says, “We have a patient here for a pregnancy test, can you work her in?” to the doc I was working with. She is a friend of mine and knew that I had miscarried. She asked if I could do it and I said yes, I could (I’m a scribe, I type the visits for her) despite having to face glowing, happy pregnant women all day.

So we walk in to the room, and this girl…. 18, no job, on Medi-Cal (state funded insurance), unmarried [no offense to single teen moms, not like it’s bad or anything, just, you know]… She had the same LMP as me, thus the same due date I would have had, weighed the same as I do, had the same hemoglobin as I did, and if that’s not weird enough, she even had the same average blood sugar level I did!!!! I made it through the visit (miraculously) but the second I got out of the building, I just broke down. I had all kinds of angry thoughts and feelings; why did she get to keep her baby an I didn’t get to keep mine?! How can she even care for it? I would be able to provide it a much better home. I’m embarrassed and ashamed to admit that I actually hoped she would miscarry. Within seconds of thinking that, I was immediately so mad at myself. Furious! I felt jealous, hurt, mad at her and myself, and just so confused… It was so…SO paindul.

I can’t explain it, but I woke up the next day and I had this overwhelming feeling of, “Okay. Let’s try this again.” And I knew instantly I was ready to TTC again.

We do OB days monthly at work. The next visit she was supposed to have, she called and said that she had moved to southern California. She was plopped in my life exactly when I needed her. I credit her with preparing me to try again. It’s not like I never cried about it again, and it’s not like it doesn’t hurt to think about it anymore, she just mentally made me ready to try again.

ETA:  Please don’t bash me for this if I offended anyone, I really didn’t mean to. I now wish her the best and happiest pregnancy in the world and I’m sure she’s doing fine, but I just wanted to share my story to see if it could help anyone else.

ETA2: Sorry this is so long. LOL.

Post # 5
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@knittylady:  

 

I’m so sorry for your loss x x

I had a MMC, we found out July 10th and I had a D&C on the 12th, its the hardest thing i’ve ever been through- I cope by looking forward, when I realised I wasn’t going to ovulate the first few weeks after the M/C (It took a REALLY long time for my HcG levels to drop) my next focus was getting AF, then its all been about getting a positive OPK, I still get upset about the one we lost, I still struggle to be around babies and I can’t talk openly in the ‘real world’ about what we went through but I’m looking forward in very small (2 week ish) time periods.

And i’ve told myself I won’t do a PT this time until i’m reaaaally late- its my defence mechanism!!

Also I treated myself to a CBFM, I bought TTC vitamins and I’ve tried to improve my diet- all of these things make me feel that i’m doing all i can-its comforting- its as if i’ve done all i physically can so now its in the hands of a higher power then me!!

GL to you, I hope our BFP are just around the corner!!

Post # 6
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

after ttc for 10+ months, with the perfect combination of clomid, trigger shot, and iui, we finally got pregnant.  our chickpea was measuring a bit small, but we saw and heard a very strong heartbeat.  we found out we had had a missed miscarriage at 9.5 weeks.  i had my d&c two days later. 

today marks exactly 6 weeks since my d&c. i am still waiting on my first period.  my RE was willing to start me on provera to get things moving along, but last week’s bloodwork showed that i miraculously ovulated on my own, so she asked me to skip the provera and wait it out.  as soon as af arrives, she is prepared to start me on the same clomid/trigger/iui combo that worked before.

i turned 31 this week and we’ve also just passed the one year mark of ttc, and they’ve both been hard milestones.  i keep thinking i’m okay, and then i just have a complete meltdown for no reason at all.  i think the worst part is that my best friend/sil is pregnant with her second child and is due a week after what was supposed to be our due date.  i am praying that we at least get pregant before her due date in feb, so it will make it a little easier on us.  

Post # 8
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I thought I’d share my story with you strong ladies.

 

My husband and I started NTNT in January and got a BFP at the end of March. At 8 weeks, one week before my first appointment was scheduled, I started bleeding and cramping. The midwife told me it was most likely a blighted ovum.  At the end of July I got another BFP, but that resulted in a chemical pregnancy. I still have days where I can get pretty emotional, but I found the only way I started feeling better was to start trying again.

 

Also a special shout out to a friend from here on the bee. I turned to her after my chemical pregnancy and she really has been such an amazing help. I don’t have anyone in my life that I can talk to about the losses or TTC, but with her I can talk about whatever I’m feeling and I know she understands. 

 

I’m hopeful the third time is the charm for my husband and I. I also hope we all have sticky babies in our near future. 

Post # 9
Member
510 posts
Busy bee

Thanks for creating this group:)  I got pregnant on our first try in June.  DH and I have been through a lot, as my Mom passed from an intense year-long battle with rare cancer at the end of May.  We thought we finally had something positive to focus on, and things were looking up.  The pregnancy was pretty uneventful, although I was a little anxious, but overall enjoying the pregnancy.  At 9 weeks exactly, I started spotting a tiny bit, which increased over 2 days.  I went into the ER, where they determined the baby had stopped growing at 6-7 weeks and I was miscarrying.  I was completely devastated, and it was one of the most difficult days of my life.  I had a D&C that day.  Even though I had been worried, I just didn’t think it would happen to me.  Afterwards, I felt physically fine, but emotionally broken and drained.  Also angry and feeling like it wasn’t fair.  The week following the MC was very hard.  DH was great- very comforting and patient.  I cried a lot and felt like I was barely functioning.  I’m now 17 days after the MC and starting to feel better.  Every day is still hard, and I have a hard time seeing preg ladies and babies out in public, but I feel like it’s getting better.  I think part of the reason is due to focusing on TTC again.  My Dr advised me to wait until I got a period, but after doing a ton of research and discussing with DH, we’re trying to go for it this cycle.  Of course it’s hard bc I have no idea what my body is doing!  Anyone else trying right after?  Well thanks again for creating a place where we can vent and support each other.  I’ve been avoiding the Bee, as I was always on here and it’s been so hard, but it’s nice to be back too:)  

Post # 10
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee

I’m so sorry for your loss 🙁 We lost our baby six weeks ago yesterday. I had some bleeding but they heard the heartbeat and said things were fine. My doctor ordered and u/s at my next checkup just to reassure…and though I was 15 weeks the baby was measuring only a little over 8 weeks and there was no heartbeat.

My period has just returned…though lighter than usual (which the doctor said is common). Now I’m worried that when we try again we won’t get pregnant or something will happen again. It’s so scary 🙁 We’re talking about trying again this cycle.

Post # 11
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Thank you all for sharing! I love this thread.

FI and I had a misarriage at 9w4d in May. While the pregnancy was a surprise, it was a wonderful surprise! Our baby was due December 22nd, a day after my birthday. We are going to start TTC right before our wedding, since we know it could take awhile.I am so scared to go in for that first ultrasound again… I have such a fear that I will hear that same “I’m not seeing what I want to see….”

 

I am praying for you all. We all deserve our sticky babies!

Post # 12
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Hi ladies. Thank you all for sharing your stories.  It is good (in a strange way) to know that we aren’t alone.  I’m closing in on my late 30’s.  DH and I have been TTC since Aug ’11.  I was put on Clomid in April and was so thrilled to get a BFP! My m/c started soon after.  I have low progesterone and my betas never got very high.  My betas actually kept fluctuating up and down.  I had multiple internal u/s and blood tests.  It was finally determined by a specialist that I had an ectopic pregnancy (they think I may have been pregnant with twins and that was the reason for the flutuation in beta #’s).  I had to have methotrexate shots to get my beta numbers down.  I was 0 beta at the end of June and was cleared to start TTC in mid- July.  I have short cycles (26 days) so we are on our 2nd try since our m/c.  I have been on clomid both cycles.  I’m currently 4dpo and will be starting progesterone supplements tonite.

Most days I do ok.  But I know when certain milestone times hit and that chokes me up.  I also thought I’d get pg again the first time we tried after the m/c and was very disappointed when that didn’t happen.  I look back at the m/c and realize that it was probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through.  Even though we were just newly pregnant it is still difficult.  Once you see that BFP everything in your mind and heart changes.  You immediatly start to dream, plan and feel tremendous joy mixed with fear.  And when you have a m/c the dreams, plans and joy turn to alot of sadness. 

I’m really hoping that the 3rd time on clomid is the charm.  Good luck to all of you ladies! This is not the type of group anyone would want to join.  But I feel really fortunate to have all of you (and the other ladies of WB) to share with. 

Baby wishes to everyone!

Post # 13
Member
2263 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hello all. I found this post through another thread. I wanted to add my story. 

I miscarried back in April while on BCP. The pregnancy was entirely unexpected and my husband and I are now talking about ttc and getting off BCP. I’m scared and a little more frightened than I should be considering this already happened to us. I felt guilty for months because I didn’t even want a baby at the time but my heart ached knowing that little life was over before I knew it had begun. 

I’m praying and hoping this doesn’t happen again as we are ttc in the coming months. 

Post # 14
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@SimplyChic11:  I can totally relate to you. This sounds like us exactly.

Post # 15
Member
510 posts
Busy bee

Well, AF arrived this AM 🙁  Feeling pretty down today, but trying to focus on the next cycle.  It was wishful thinking that I’d get pg immediately after MC, but I still got my hopes up.  It’s so hard going through TTC again after a loss.  Now that I’ve had a period, hopefully everything will be regulated and back to normal this cycle. 

Post # 16
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@MCC919:  I’m so sorry =( That first cycle is definitely hard to go through. Fingers crossed for your next cycle!

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