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When people look at you like you have the plague bc SOMEHOW they found out its been a year and "you're still NOT pregnant?!" or the response "well you are 30..." Yep I am, about to be 31. Sorry I decided not to get knocked up in high school or by some random hookup and decided to have a life first and meet my soulmate to settle down with and then decide to bring kids into this crazy a** world. Pure ignorance. People have no tact and I want to punch them right in the face too. But I am pretty sharp with my tongue and while thats not always good, I have ways at getting back at people that drive me to it.
I hate it when people tell me to "just relax and it will happen". Um no its not. I am infertile. And even after I tell them that they still don't get it and they say "well it will happen when its meant to be". UGH.
@panterapeach: At least if you punched grandma you wouldn't have to worry about the family saying anything to you anymore. :)
@camrie: no joke,
If the punching eliminates wedding related questions as well, I may be tempted.
(sorry grandma, take one for the team)
@sweetkate: The relax thing is so annyoing because how can you relax.
I am so sorry to hear about your fertility issues. Hopefully you and DH will come up with a plan on how to have a family even if they can't be biological.
@MissGreen: exactly, yeah I can't help it I didnt meet my DF till later in life. I was married before and I never wanted kids with that fool.
I agree with a pp. Saying it'll happen when it's meant to is one of the worst things you can say. We want it to happen NOW. I know it shouldn't make me upset, but my DH is convinced I'm pregnant every month...so when I ask him if he feel like we'll ever have a baby he'll say "we already are." It makes it that much worse when I get the BFN...
@JewishBride: awww that is so sweet yet so heartbreaking. A BFN is bad enough. I'm glad your DH is positve though. A great attitude makes a huge difference.
Ugh, I hated hearing that stuff well before I even considered TTC. It is annoying. And I usually ended up feeling bad for being so annoyed, because for the most part people mean no harm. But, those kinda empty statements, or the indirectly judgemental ones, they don't help.
But just wait, when you are actually pregnant, the annoying questions do not end. They're just different.
@jennifer_espos: Dang, the annoyance never ends does it!
I know I too feel bad to for being so mad because people don't know I am TTC. I would hope that if they did they wouldn't say stupid stuff but I imagine the stupidity would continue even if they knew I was TTC.
UGH
@sweetkate: I totally get it. I get that a lot too. After the miscarriage, then major surgery to remove the 15 fibroids, plus my right fallopian tube, I'm in a race against time with the fibroids returning, my age (almost 34 now), the lengthy time it could take because I only have my left fallopian tube. People say, "Oh don't worry, I'm sure it'll happen.." Nothing worse you can say to somebody in this situation. I totally understand.
I sort of know the feeling... my hubs isn't quite ready, (but I am!) so we are waiting a few months before we start trying. The worst is when HIS family nags us about when we are starting TTC. I have to just grin and say that "we" aren't ready yet...
Uggggg!
OMG i so feel you on this post... We haven't really told anyone that we are TTC
So when everyone asks we say "Oh maybe sometime this year" Like really is no ones buisness.. the worse is DH's aunt blasting on FB.. DH put something like i love my life with my wife and doggies and soon to be kids.. DH didn't mean we are pregnant so shes like wow im so happy for you... hes like um not yet! and shes like well get busy what are you waiting for.. Really? Do you need to be in our sexlife? LOL like we are getting busy its jsut not working yet. PPL are so annoying! LOL
the worst is in your TWW and stupid AF comes!
I made the mistake of telling my best friend I was going off birth control (she was the only one I told). That sucked because for over three months, every time I saw her she asked if I was pregnant yet. It got really annoying.
I can't be too harsh though, because my coworker told me he and his wife were going to TTC right after the wedding, and it was tempting to ask what was going on with that. I didn't, but I didn't have to because he usually told me what was new. In fact, he just left to take another job, and right before he left, he told me his wife thought she was and was going to take a test a few days later. Now I'll never know...
People mean well, but they can be so clueless sometimes.
I wish I had never told anyone that we were TTC. Every time I feel ill my friends think I'm pregnant. I love sushi, and so they are always asking when we are going out to dinner if I want sushi (obviously a pregnancy no-no) or some other food. God forbid I ever want to eat anything other than sushi because then obviously I must be pregnant. And the worst comment is certainly the just relax one. I'm 34 and I have an anxiety disorder. Even if we weren't TTC and having difficulty, I would still be an anxious person. Stop telling me to relax!!!
There, I feel better getting that off my chest...
I can't stand the casual questions from people who know we are TTC. Every facebook chat conversation goes something like this:
Them: Hi
Me: Hey
Them: So, pregnant yet?
Me: no
Them: Oh, don't worry, it will happen soon.
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My husband's parents are so eager to be grandparents they have been pestering us since literally the day they met me (we were at a mother's day brunch and at the end I thank his father for the meal and he says "hopefully next year we will be celebrating YOU as a mom!") Once we got married, every single time his mom called she would say "SOooooooooo, anything you want to tell us?"
I was so fed up I told my husband he had to tell them to stop. I don't know what exactly he said to them, but I haven't heard a peep from them about my uterus since! It's glorious.
Sometimes you just need to tell people to back off for your own sanity. Forget being polite :)
I feel very fortunate that we haven't had too much of this because I've been in grad school and I think people just kind of know we're waiting til I'm done. I'm expecting it to get worse though because we told a lot of people we'd start trying depending on how things turned out with me professionally and it turned out that we can start pretty soon, so I'm expecting a ton of questions soon.
What I don't get is why people think it's their business, and why everyone asks the same questions. It was the same with wedding planning. "How's wedding planning?" "You still wanna get married?" "How's married life?" "You sure you want kids?" (when we're around people's crying kid or something). Its like, STFU people! I know what I am doing! And I'm with all of you who hate the "it will happen" comment. I have come to loathe platitudes in general in recent years. "Well, that's life" or "What's meant to be, will be." Really dude? You still feel that way when we talk about YOUR problems and disappointments? I didn't think so. UGH!
I agree, so annoying. I thought all the annoying wedding questions (how's the planning going?when's the big day, blah blah blah) it would end. NOPE just gets worse. "So 9 months eh?" " Boy you sure are glowing today!" UGH!
@jennifer_espos: Yep @ But just wait, when you are actually pregnant, the annoying questions do not end. They're just different. Then they give a sigh of relief because you are finally pregnant in your old age. I had a high school classmate who has 3 kids tell me "It's about time."
I'm 29.
We're not even TTC yet, and I feel your pain.
I've been sick for the past month, and on medicine that I can't drink with. I've had to literally convince several of my friends (on different occasions), that I'm NOT pregnant.
"Are you sure this whole sick/can't drink/going to the doctors thing isn't just a way to hide that you're pregnant?!"
They have good intentions, but for real, I would never "fake" being sick for a month!
i believe it has gotten around at work - mainly because there are SOOOO many women at work who either ARE pregnant or just had their first baby...so being that we just got married last year - i'm next in line! Course, I really don't talk about it at work (and most of my close friends are my work friends)...but ugh. it is seriously annoying to find out - i swear every time i turn around "hey guess who's pregnant"!!! yeah, not me!
My husband and I are friends with a girl I met in my old dept at work, and her husband...her husband already has two kids (17 and 10) and she can not have kids, and isn't the "motherly" type really at all...she knows we are trying - and she also knows i'm pretty sensitive about my weight (i'm not over-weight but i eat "different" than everyone else because I don't eat processed junk and have always had weight problems...) ok, so that backstory is out of the way - one of the girls in that dept, who just had her baby - well, she was around 9 months along, and of course I'm cooing over her belly and our friend is all "wow - you REALLY want to look like "that"?!
Yes. Yes I do! (yes, it was rude of her to say, both to me and about the pregnant girl).
Or - also - when we go out and I don't feel like drinking - "why aren't you drinking? are you pregnant???" ugh.
I'm also 31 going on 32. And - like someone else said, I didn't get knocked up in high school or my early 20's...it is just so very frustrating - i mean, really - HOW many years did I agonize over not wanting to get pregnant and trying everything I could to make sure I didn't...and now that we want to - it's SO agonizing that it's taking forever! (btw, i've been off BC for a year now - and actually "trying/charting" for 6...
but - after all that - the worst is also turning around, hearing about everyone else (of course, younger) who's gotten pregnant...such as my husband's sister-in-law's 18 year old DRUG-ABUSER daughter who doesn't even have a job...(yes, i'm being judgemental. damnit.)
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No one IRL knows we are actually TTC. So I have to give some of these people a pass, but seriously, people can not stop saying stupid stuff!
Today I had a doctors appointment (with my obgyn & I didn't tell anyone that) and when I got back someone sent me a message saying... "so when is the due date" They said they "just had a feeling". seriously, WTF people!?!?!?!
Also, anytime I say I am feeling ill the first thing out of people's mouth is "are you pregnant". I want to yell at them and say NO I'M NOT, THANKS FOR REMINDING ME DOUCHEBAG!
My birthday is coming up I am about to be 32 and if one more person asks me why I havent had kids yet or that I need to hurry up and get started because I am behind I will punch them. Seriously, I don't care if it's my little grandma. POW. Punch right to the mouth.
--- obviously I wouldn't punch someone, I am just really hormonal this week. Whew that felt good to vent.
Thanks bee.
What are your TTC annoyances? let em out girls...it feels pretty darn good!