Post # 1
My DH & I have been TTC since June with no BFP yet. I have long cycles since coming off BCP and we are only on cycle 4. I am a bridesmaid in an Aug 2014 wedding. I had mentioned to the bride before that we were going to TTC right after our wedding, but I don’t know if she really remembered that. Hopefully I will be pregnant for my friend’s wedding – I just dont know how far along I will be.
In an ideal world I wouldn’t tell the bride I was pregnant until after the first trimester, because she is horrible at keeping secrets. Bees – what would you do?
Post # 3
@MrsBaldEagle: I’d tell her whenever I was comfortable. If it’s going to impact her wedding in some way, then the sooner the better, but still whenever you are comfortable.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t bother telling her you are TTC. I know a friend of mine is TTC, and she is important enough for me to still want her there. If she gets pregnant, and the dress shop that we ordered form doesn’t work with her, its one of the few agreed upon times (agreed with my FI) I get to yell at someone “Are you TRYING to ruin my wedding?” 🙂
After that, I think it depends on when you consive. If you are going to 7-9 months pregnant at her wedding, or if your due date is less than a month before the wedding, you likely won’t be up for it, so telling her earlier is better so if she wants to change her plans, she can. If you are outside of those parameters, let her know when you want to. This is your news, and if she is upset about you “Ruining her wedding” then thats a bit of a drama Queen I wouldn’t want to deal with while pregnant.
When you are looking at dresses, you may want to let the store know that you are pregnant or TTC. You can also ask the associate without the bride there, as I am sure pregnant bridesmaids are something stores deal with all the time.
I also have a bridal attendent that is due 4 weeks before my wedding. I have told her to show up if she can, but if she can’t, I will be happy for her and her new little one no mater what. She told me right away (her first call after she told her family) and I will admit to being shocked. Not because she was pregnant, but because she told me before she was out of the first trimester. I’m glad she told me, but I have been worrying about her since she told me.
Post # 5
Tell her whenever you want, whenever you feel comfortable. My only suggestion would be if you find out your due date is a couple weeks before/after her wedding, tell her immediately since she may have to change her plans. One of my bridesmaids got pregnant and is due less than a week before so we decided she’s out. Still an honorary bridesmaid leading up to the wedding, but we’re not planning on her being there that day.
I have to admit, I wish they’d waited one more month to start trying. They waited until their 1 year anniversary, and then she got pregnant their first try. I don’t care if she’s pregnant at the wedding, but I’m super sad she won’t be there at all. I know you shouldn’t bend your life around one day, but really, what’s one more month? If you’re close enough to be in her wedding, I assume you’re close enough to be really sad if you miss it.
Post # 6
@MrsBaldEagle: I’m going through the same thing. I think it depends on when I get my BFP. If it puts me due around the time of the wedding or will jeopardize my dress fitting, I will probs tell her earlier on, but if I will only be a few months along at the wedding I will wait and tell her when I plan to tell everyone else. She doesn’t know that I am currently TTC.
Post # 7
@MrsBaldEagle: I would wait and tell her when you’re comfortable. Yes, it may have an impact on her wedding, but you don’t know that yet. If she’s the type to gossip or spread rumors I would hold of saying anything until you’re ready for everyone to know.
Post # 8
@MrsSmitty: I had that same thought when I got married and my one bridesmaid was planning to TTC around the time that would make her due around my wedding day. I thought, what is one month. It ended up taking her 5 months to conceive and I didn’t give it another thought.
Now that I am TTC and on my 4th cycle, the thought of stopping for a month is kind of heartbreaking. It was not easy to make the decision to continue to TTC knowing it could put me due within a few weeks of her wedding. And actually the way my cycles are falling, I would have to stop for 2 months to avoid being due shortly before or shortly after, and at this point I am not willing To give up two months TTC, who knows how long it will take me to get my BFP. But after going through the process personally, I feel so bad now for secretly having those thoughts towards my bridesmaid.
Post # 9
I would wait until you are comfortable with the pregnancy or until it’s necessary. If you’re going dress shopping, then I would just put it lightly as you might be trying at some point so you have to consider ordering a different dress size because you are not sure.
I had 3 pregnant girls in my wedding, all of whom go pregnant after I asked them to be in the bridal party. Luckily the dresses they had already ordered worked fine, so it was no big deal. And I was super happy for them.
Do what’s right for you. 🙂
Post # 10
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
Telling her you’re TTC and telling her you’re pregnant are two different things. I wouldn’t say anything about TTC. I would tell her when I got pregnant (unless you want to do that waiting through the first trimester thing. I personally don’t want to do this).
Post # 11
@MrsBaldEagle: I think it depends in timing. I wouldn’t bother telling get you are ttc. If you get a bfp this month, you’d be due around her wedding, so I would tell her aa soon as you felt comfortable in that case. If you don’t get a bfp until May or after, you wont be showing at the wedding so no need to tell her in advance! Alterations to the dress probably will be easy/not take long, the biggest issue is if you get a bfp in the next 2 months and you can’t attend, she would want to know quickly!
Post # 12
@MrsSmitty: Refer to @Pink Asawa: response – exactly what i was going to say. Im having 45 day cycles so I would have to put my plans on hold until January. And yes, this is one of my good friends – and i would be sad to miss her wedding or have to drop out from being a bridesmaid, but I think she would understand once she started TTC.
Post # 13
@little_d: I know she would be able to get a replacement bridesmaid in a second – so as long as i tell her in Feb – the new bridesmaid would have time to order the dress. I just dont want to tell her too soon bc of the chance of a miscarriage – and then I stress her out for no reason.
Post # 14
One of my bridesmaids was TTC in throughout the year before my wedding, and another said she’d wait so she’d be no more than 6 months pregnant at my wedding (she’s younger and has already successfully had one baby, so she wasn’t as worried about not being able to conceive). I’m glad they told me and we’ve planned the dresses around the possibility that one or two (of 4) bridesmaids might be pregnant. As it stands, one will be 7 months pregnant so we’re going maternity bridesmaid dress shopping this weekend.
Anyways, I think as long as she has 6 months notice it’ll be fine. We had a groomsman drop out a month or two ago because his wife is due on our wedding day. We’d waited to start dealing with the wedding party attire anyways, so it was no problem at all.
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2012 - Sunset Harbour
In the same situation here – a wedding in oct and nov. I plan on TTC in the spring so the earliest I would be due is Dec if I am preggo right away. One bride already knows my plans – the other doesnt.
Post # 16
I would tell the bride that I’m TTC but to keep it on the down low.
Any woman I was a bridesmaid for I know I can trust with that information and I know they wouldn’t go telling everyone. If you feel like you can’t trust them though then I would wait until you’re 12 weeks.
The reason I would tell is for the purposes of bridesmaid dress shopping. I would want to wait to order my dress until say 4-5 months before the wedding. If I wasn’t pregnant yet then maybe I would just get a slightly larger dress in case I got pregnant in the next month or two. I wouldn’t want to buy a dress 8 months ahead of time.. who knows what could happen!