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Welcome to the boards :)
As a fellow PCOS-bee, I can really relate to your struggle thus far. My case is also severe and we've been given a "fertility deadline" of age 26 (I'm almost 24 now) because my doctors feel at that point there's just no chance of ovulation at all, even medically assisted.
I only ovulate from one ovary as it is now, so our chances are cut down by 50% to begin with. My other ovary seems to ovulate only when it wants to, so it's a big guessing game.
Right after our wedding (only 3 months ago), we decided to delve into TTC head first, seeing as we only have about 2 years to have the family that we want. I bought the books, started on prenatals, got my Metformin prescription, and started temping and charting.
The first two months, nothing happened. This month, I got very very sick from the Metformin and ended up in the ER and they made me stop taking it (this was RIGHT at ovulation time, so I was super disappointed thinking it wouldn't be enough to make me ovulate). Apparently, it was enough, as I got a BFP on 13DPO, but almost immediately miscarried, the following day (chemical pregnancy).
This took such an emotional toll on us (it was a rollercoaster) that we've decided to stop temping and charting for now, stop obsessing over the books, stop the meds. Currently I'm just taking my prenatals and we're letting nature take its course.
I couldn't get a follow up appointment with my RE until October, at which point I'm assuming the next step will be Clomid or Femara to try to get me to ovulate.
It's such a hard daily journey, so I know exactly how you feel. You'll find a lot of information and comfort on these boards though.
Welcome again, and best of luck to you!
Maybe it would be a good idea to have a check up with your OB/GYN to make sure everything "down there" looks healthy? I'm sure he could also ease your mind about any other concerns you have. I have a 2 year old and my fiance and I would like to try for another next summer. So everytime I go to the OB I always make sure that everything is healthy and ask for tips and pointers.
Welcome!
First of all, I commend you on your decision to not keep any "barriers" between you and your husband. We feel the same, but as we are not ready to TTC yet, we follow the Sympto-Thermal method to know when pregnancy could occur... so we can avoid relations in that time frame. I would really rec the book to you, "Taking charge of your fertility" because if you ever do need to see an RE (which they usually make you try a while first anyhow) you usually need to chart anyhow. At least with charting you will know where you are in your cycle. i.e. There's NO WAY I can be pregnant right now because I did not ovulate... so it may cut your freak outs... though if you do ovulate and you're waiting on the TWW it could also up your paranoia about it... it would at least remove the guesswork.
Secondly, on top of just learning information about this, as a recovering (I'm gathering you are in recovery?) person struggling with EDs, I would highly rec. to continue or begin seeing a professional to be able to talk all this out. If/when you do become pregnant it can become VERY hard on someone with your past... with all the bodily changes that happen. It can also heal too. I would just highly rec. seeking a professional out to talk this all out with, support you when you struggle, and monitor your physical health for you and your future children....
Again though, congrats though.
wow i feel so overwhelmed with the support from you all, thank you :-)
KLP2010 - yes i am in recovery and trying very hard. from the outside perspective i couldnt imagine giving advice to support to someone getting over an issue like this an dtrying to conceive, id probably be think, wtf, that's so irrresponsible! but for me, realising that this is what my body is made for that the deal breaker. i am focusing on the fact that my body has a purpose and that is not to be thin, it is to be healthy and literally 'carry' a baby, inside and out. so actually the decision to TTC has made the residual bad behaviours calm down a lot. im not fixed and i dont pretend to be, there's no point lying or sugar coating it, but its a beautiful thing to have the possibilty of a child as an incentive to get fully well. its an amazing thing as a woman to realise that hopefully being a mother is what my body is built to do. however i fear that if the damage is irrepairable, if we cant conceive, i dont know what i'll do. hmm.
i am seriously thinking baout seeing my doctor for a check up but in england its sort of weird, or maybe its just my doctors surgery. they wont do any exploratory tests etc unless you have already proved you have been trying unsuccessfully to concieve for 2 years. so actually it might be worth going just to 'register' that on this date we started trying etc so if god forbid in 2 years time still nothing then maybe we will be entitled to some help. the treatment i had when i was 21 for PCOS and insulin resistance was paid for privately and when i could no lonegr afford it and tried to recieve similar help on the health care system it was a complete shock (probably naively) that i wasnt entitled to it. even trying to get a prescription for metformin took seeing two different doctors to agree to it. in the end i gave up. my pelvic scan i had on the NHS was ridiculous. the woman ended up giving up when she 'couldnt find my right ovary'' but she just figured ''it must be in there somewhere''. seriously.
sorry went abit fof topic there! i think i am sort of worried about seein gmy doctor to talk about TTC as i m scared of being judged for my age. its so stupid but most long mothers i know havent had planned pregnancies, so the fact that they are or were long is just sort of accepted. but im scared of being judged for choosing to have a child at what i worry is a young age. does any one else have this fear?
@pigeon-noises: hey hun, Im from UK too and I understand how hard it is to try and get UK doctors to listen to you!!! the best advice I could give, is to go see your doc,explain your full medical history (warts and all) and see what they say. More often than not,I can imagine that they would give you advice on any tips or pointers that may help you in your situation.
Im waiting to pluck up the courage to go and see my doctor about TTC too, for fear of judgement (Im 22) as although we havent been trying super hard to conceive, we will have been trying for a good 12 months by the time the wedding rolls around and weve had nothing yet. But I just remember that doctors arent there to judge, they are there to help and give advice. If your doctor does anything which you feel is judgemental ( though I highly doubt they will) its time to sign up to a new doctors surgery.
big hugs and good luck!
@kimbo89: thank you so much! and its great to know there are other Uk Bees going through the same crap ha ha ;-)
my mission tommorrow - going to book an appoitment with my doctor, might as well bite the bullet. its so not in the vein of 'just seeing what happens'' but i am so neurotic and impatient that concept was never really going to work for me! sometimes its best to be prepared. this is such a huge life changing thing (if it happens) and its best to go into it whole heartedly and fully prepared. at least that's how i feel, hence my popping the folic acid!
@pigeon-noises: what you just said is the best thing you can say to your doctor, that you want to be fully prepared and that you understand you may need a little more support and advice than others. The worst thing is when I got to my docs, I play it down and try and keep quiet but they are not mind readers,be open and honest and they will hopefully give you the best advice they possibly can. Good on you for going for it, its better to go and get it out of the way sooner rather than later, you will feel so much better for it once youve been!!
Good luck for your appointment and let us know how it goes, either by update or PM me if you prefer :)
ETA-your up late like me!!
I'm another fellow pcos bee. I was just diagnosed with it last week although I'm pretty sure it's something I've had all my life - the symptoms all point to it now that I know what to look for.
I very much know about that emotional rollercoaster you are on! For the last year+ my husband and I have been TTC with no results - heck no cycles either! It's been driving me literally nuts. Knowing that I have PCOS and that there is a reason this has been occuring and having 2 doctors (obgyn and endocrinologist) watching me and working on a plan to get my body balanced and my periods/hormones functioning normally again has given me so much more peace of mind! It's still hard to watch everyone around me get pregnant and give birth and it still hurts to see just the one line on the home pregnancy tests, but it helps to know that I'm starting on a path that will give me a better chance at all of this!
*hugs* and all my best most baby dust filled wishes are heading your way!
@KLP2010: I hate to write such a public post, but after 14 different methods of communication: several emails, 10 texts, 9 phone calls and attempts from the vendor of a reception site you once were a recommended photographer of (Irene from the Contemporary Art Center)- you have not contacted me or her back once to discuss the issues I brought up about our contract. I have even pleaded with you on this website in 3 separate private messages to please contact me. It is frustrating to see you respond to other posts and you won't respond to my or Irene's emails after 4 months of trying to get ahold of you. Kelly- please respond to this by email, a PM on here, a text, a phone call, SOMETHING.
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My husband and I finally decided that we were ready to stop using protection and let nature take it's course, or as I like to put it, leave it up to fate. We are newly weds, we celebrated our marriage only last month and after finally getting our house and me finishing university we just decided that we wanted to stop having anything between us when we make love (i stopped the contraceptive pill last november as it played havoc with my moods so we've been using condoms which we both detest since then), and as we both want children it just seemed like the right thing to do.
Maybe it was easier to make this huge decision because we both fear it could take a long time to conceive. I had severe PCOS when I was only 21 (i'm now 24), and for a long time I had no period at all. For the past 6 years I have also had an eating disorder which again messed with my cycles and last year my doctor told me that my eggs were not healthy and I was not ovulating at all. It was a big blow, even though we werent trying for children, just the thought that we were going to get married and I might be able to carry his children, I was devastated. For some reason this didnt change Mr D's decision to get married but I really honestly felt so incredibly guilty and such a failure of a woman. The fact that my stupid eating issues could affect what i saw as our future left me feeling so horribly guilty and sick.
Anyways, its over a year later, I am now married to my beautiful partner and we are just going to see what happens. While Mr D is very laid back about this endeavour, I have to be honest with you all, I am a neurotic wreck - in general lol - but about this specifically! I am constantly looking at the Infertility threads and anything with TTC in the title...I've googled every little 'symptom' of early pregnancy and we've only been trying a week! Today I had to get some over the counter medicine and I was so nervous about the 'is there any chance you could be pregnant' question before they sold it to me that I bought a pregnancy test. How stupid of me....with messed up periods (they only started again this january, and for june and july i had 2 periods each month - very strange) and only been TTC for a week it was obvioulsy going to be negative otherise you Bees wouldnt write about the annoying TTW right? But I tested and obivously it was negative, and stupid as I am, I got upset. I felt like, you better get used to this, you'll be seeing just one line every month. Gah!
So I just thought I would finally pluck up the courgae to write here and actually share my experiences instead of just stalking everyone elses ha ha! Now off to go growl at the negative pregnancy test.... lol.