TTC dreams shattered. Need some support.

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Oh honey my heart goes out to you right now 🙁

Those test results do sound a little strange. Could you get a second opinion? Perhaps the doctor read your results as his? 

Post # 4
339 posts
Helper bee

Gosh, that’s tough 🙁 I’m so sorry to hear that.

Assuming he is a carrier, what are the chances of you having a) a carrier and b) a completely unaffected child?

I don’t know a heck of a lot about CF, but it may be an illness that limits you adoption wise (they can be tough about health issues). 

For most people, IVF is successful….eventually. Are there any other fertility issues that may limit your success with IVF? 

Post # 5
2813 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m so sorry to hear your sad news.  Is there any chance the lab result might be wrong? It just seems strange that his genes say he should have CF and he doesn’t, especially since he came back clear the first time. 

Anyway, im really really sorry. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now. Sending my thoughts and prayers. 

Post # 6
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m not sure what “RE” stands for, but I think you need a second opinion from a genetics expert. I would look into finding a doctor who specialized in genetic testing and maybe even CF if you can. Look at Wash U med school (assuming you live in St Louis like it says). Good luck!!

Post # 7
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@chelles07:  Of course we remember you! I’m so sorry to hear that. It definitely sounds a little weird. Are they sure the the tests were right? Would it be possible to run them again to confirm? I know that probably seems excessive, but shit happens and mistakes get made. When you’re talking about something so important that it could dictate TTC/IVF/Adoption though, and your other doctor finds something really strange, it might be worth it to make absolutely sure the finding is correct. 

I only know a little bit about genetics and basically nothing about CF. But does the mutation have the same chance of coming up that the non-carrier alleles do? And would a mutation combine with your alleles actually always force the CF out?

Regardless, this is so hard, I’m so sorry. It’s ok to be crushed, just take your time to process. Lean on DH, who I’m sure is also crushed, and together you guys will reorient your plans and move forward when you’re ready. I really believe this will happen for you one way or another. 


Post # 8
24457 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m so sorry that you have this hard news.  I hope that you can find out what this means for the two of you.  You will be in my thoughts.

Post # 9
2069 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@chelles07:  I’m sorry you are going through this 🙁 I would suggest talking to a genetic counselor. But, more importantly I would also suggest having the test performed by a different laboratory to confirm or refute the result. Especially since there was apparently a lab error in the initial test, and the second set of results seem dubious. May I ask what lab performed the testing? There can be a wide range of quality among clinical labs…they also should be willing to write off the cost of testing if you are able to demonstrate that their results were inaccurate. 

Post # 10
939 posts
Busy bee

@chelles07:  talk to a genetic counselor before letting yourself get too upset. I saw a geneticist this pregnancy for a whole slew of reasons and it was nice to talk to someone who could actually explain percentages and likelyhood and all of that stuff to me in a clear way. 

Post # 11
4153 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@chelles07:  My heart sunk when I saw that you had posted this.  I am so, so sorry to hear this news, sweetheart.  I know you must feel devastated right now.  I wish I had words of comfort, but I know that right now nothing is going to make you feel better but giving it time.  I still fully believe that you will be a mother, whatever the path to get you there may be.  I’m sending all my positive energy your way and I’ll keep you in my prayers.  *HUGS* XOXOXOX  

Post # 12
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I was so sad when I saw the title of this post but my heart dropped when I saw it was from you.  You were on the POAS boards when I first started out there and I missed seeing you after you left (though I hoped it was for happy reasons).  I am so, so sorry – I wish there was something better I could say.  Take the time you need to process and come to grips with all this new info.  I’m hoping the genetics counselor will be able to clear up the conflicting info you’re getting (and hopefully for the better).  Hugs to you.

Post # 13
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@chelles07:  oh hun, I’m so so sorry to see you posting this. I know you must feel devastated right noa, and no amount of worda will take the hurt away. You WILL be a mother, it might not happen the way you planned, but it WILL happen! You will be in my thoughts and prayers. 

Post # 14
8818 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I am so sorry to see this update.  I always check up on you, I think about you often.  I will keep you and your hubby in my prayers!

Post # 15
8658 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m so sorry to hear this news. I really hope that they figure out if he is or isn’t a carrier or what your other options are. I’ve kept you in my thoughts and I will continue to!

Post # 16
10837 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@chelles07: Aww sorry. Can see why you feel crushed. The options I’m sure will become clear.

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