Post # 1
Well bees, I messed up.
I have been charting my cycle since May and this cycle was the month my husband and I decided to TTC. I told him that when I experience ovulation symptons and the fertility tests say I’m ovulting, we got to pounce on the opportunity.
Well tonight, it was not well received.
I noticed the tell tale signs of thickening egg white like mucus and told him that we may need to try. I think I just seemed a little bit too eager and acted a bit crazy.
I panicked that we would miss the window if we didn’t try right then and there and he has to be asleep early because he gets up at 4 in the morning and works 12 hour shifts. In the beginning I had told him that when I ovulate, we go even if it means work nights for him.
Just to be sure, I took an ovulation test and it said low chance of ovulation.
He got up from bed angry and is really upset now that he can’t sleep becuase I stressed him out. I felt my approach might have been a little overwhelming but I warned him that we may need to be trying on week nights despite his busy schedule.
NOw I feel like a big jerk and hate feeling like I’m adding stress to his already stressful work life. 🙁 Just need some advice from the bees on how to emphasize that this is a wonderful joyous time and not meant to be stressful.
Post # 3
@earthbiscuit: DEEEEEEP breath. I found it most effective to keep my husband somewhat out of the loop. I didn’t want to take the joy out of baby making for him, so while we agreed it was officially time to try, that was as much as he knew. I temped and took OPKs on my own, and just tried to time BDing well. He just thought I really liked him that week 🙂
TTC can make even the sanest of us totally insane. I’d apologize, blame it on hormones, and promise him you’ll relax about it. Take the blame and tuck him in. Then get yourself some Wondfo OPKs, a chart on fertility friend, and go to town!
Post # 4
1. Sex cannot be work, make it fun and enjoyable, not a job.
2. Don’t tell him when you ovulate, it puts the pressure/stress on. Try to have sex once every other day all the time, then he will never know 🙂
3. Don’t wait until bedtime to have sex. If he has to wake up early done days, have sex before dinner and order delivery instead of spending time cooking.
4. You have a window of about 5 days to get pregnant, so don’t panic about missing one night. As long as you have sex within a few days before ovulation or on O day you will be fine.
Best of luck for a happy husband and a sticky baby!!
(on phone sorry for any errors)
Post # 5
@earthbiscuit: Do you have a reason to believe you will have a hard time conceiving? I think charting and checking mucus and such can take the fun out of things. Why not just track your ovulation in general and have lots of sex that week? Try that for a few months and see what happens.
Post # 6
@mamadingdong: +1 just be natural about it. If you’re having trouble a few months down the line then you can be more serious and calculated about it. Good luck!
Post # 7
I dont think I’ll have trouble, I’ve just not been on birth control for a long time and we’ve never gotten pregnant. But to be honest, we don’t have very high sex drives so we’re not having sex that often enough to have scares either.
I am just not getting any younger and really want it to work the first time we try.
But yes, advice duly noted and I will take a chill pill and just have fun tonight. 🙂
Thanks bees. you are the best! I absolutely adore this board.
Post # 8
Hopefully this is your month and there won’t have to be a next time, otherwise, next time, don’t tell your husband that you’re ovulating or have egg white mucus or whatever. Talk about pressure and zapping the fun and romance out of things! Honestly I can’t imagine anything less sexy than any variation of “honey, I’m ovulating/have EWCM; we need to have sex RIGHT NOW!” so just keep that to yourself when you initiate.