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I am right here with you. I do not even know how to contain it anymore. AF is due today or tomorrow and I'm feeling the cramps coming on. It is very depressing.
We are here for you to vent to... We all need it sometimes. :)
I am the same way! Normally depending on where I am in my cycle is how I feel about TTC... I'm always dissappointed after AF arrives, then hopeful when its time to "try", then anxiety when AF is about to appear.
I keep hoping that the next month is easier, however, it just continues to get harder!
Trust me...I have been in your shoes more often than I'd like to admit. It's hard when you want something sooooo badly, and you just can't have it. And it's even more frustrating when you see it given to someone who doesn't want it at all. And finally just so heartbreaking when it's given to you and taken away that quickly.
I just wanted to lend you some encouragement and hope in that this is your month. If you need to chat at all, definitely PM me.
I hear ya, I'm on cycle 7.
Some days it feels like people are getting pregnant left and right. And you are happy for them but each time it's a reminder of the failure I feel like I am because I'm not.
And yea, you know all the right things people say.
But some days you just don't care! And you want that baby NOW!
So...here's giving you a ((hugs)) and in the words of my wise husband...
"It takes time to create perfection." :)
It always puts a smile on my face no matter how down I am!
Here's hoping that it'll be our month this time!!! :D
I understand. I'm just grateful for these women of these boards. It helps to know it's not just me, that despite what I believed all those years while I was trying to prevent, that it's just not that easy to get pregnant. Everytime I start feeling really shitty about it, I remember that I'm so not alone, and it makes me feel a little better.
But yeah, some days I just feel really bitter about it.
Ditto to @2peas.
You are not alone! Hard not to feel like a crazy baby obsessed person sometimes. I'm in the "hopeful" phase - day 11 and got a peak OPK. Time to get busy and cross our fingers. I think I have a 12-13 LP so luckily this month should be a quick one : )
GOOD LUCK!
Another person chiming in to say you are not alone. Lately every day sucks (my sil being pregnant doesn't help). I am seeing my RE for the first time this week and no one knows so it is so emotional when people make comments like when it happens it happens, so you are not alone and I feel you. Busying yourself is exactly what I would do- and vent on the web.
I'm right there with you all today. We're starting SMEP this week (today actually) but I just got the news from my very best friend in the entire world that she is 5 weeks pregnant. I can't tell you how happy I'm am for her, but it's just so hard to hear. They were not really trying at all, and she's even a little upset/scared because she's not sure she's ready but all I want to say is "be happy you're not temping, charting, OPKing and still on your 5th cycle without a hint of a bfp. We'd always hoped to be on maternity leave together, so now the pressure is really on for me to make this happen. Sigh.
I'm with you too. AF showed up a couple of days ago, which bummed me out. Plus I'm turning 30 in a few days, which is a big milestone for me. I guess I always pictured myself with a baby by this age. So even though we only recently officially started TTC, I'm sad that this month wasn't our month for a BFP. I'm just trying to keep my mind off of it -- and getting lots of sushi and sake for dinner tonight will probably help!
@skibrown - I always thought I would have a baby at age 30 too...almost 31 and not P yet.
It's hard to roll with the punches, but not getting exactly what we want when we want it in a way prepares us for the ups and downs of being parents, I think!
@winniewolf: I'll be 31 in a little over a month.
Today's my bad day. It's the just second time I've cried. Had another DR appt and he thinks I'm not ovulating. He mentioned this before, but today he actually looked at all of my "data." It really is defeating. I feel like I've been wasting time trying to get PG without it being possible. But I also still want him to be wrong. Maybe he is, next appt will tell I guess...
@Mrs Green Grass: (hugs) I hope he is wrong.
@winniewolf: I think you are absolutly right that in some way this preps us for the ups and downs of parenthood. I always pictured myself married and with kids at 30. I am at least two years late to that party, if I ever get invited to the pregnancy party.
@skibobrown: sushi sounds wonderful!
@prettylizy: I know exactly what you are saying. You are so happy for them but at the same time you cant help but wonder, "why not me" or "man why do I have to do all this... I thought getting pregnant was easy, why else would people spend so much money and time avoiding it"
@DVsMom: Good luck at your RE appointment this week.
@caszos: thanks!
@Mrs Sarah McK: I agree, WB girls are awesome :)
@regberadaisy: love your DH's quote. He is right.
@2PeasinaPod: sending you thoughts of encouragement too. If you ever need to talk my PM box is open too.
@futuremrsrichardson: you just decribed my emotion cycle too!
@Fire: I hope your aunt stayed away, and stays away for 40 weeks.
Today is CD5 for me, I talked to DH about it and we decided to give it a go for 3 more months until we see a doctor.
Part of me is glad that we have a plan yet another part of me is hurt that we are even having to come up with a plan.
"It takes time to create perfection."
That really is super sweet - especially coming from your husband :)
Hoping you all achieve perfection really soon!!
@panterapeach I know right? How much money did I spend on birth control over the years?! lol!
I called DH on my way out to meet a client today (I didn't want to call from work) and told him about my bestie expecting and he was sooooo good about it. up to this point he was always defensive when I'd get upset about others 'getting there' before us. Even when it came to TTC, he definetely wasn't as into it as I am. I think this was the final tick for him, he wants this too, very badly. I'm not proud to say it, but I cried on the phone when I told him. It defenitely made me feel better though. He was really hopeful for us and even said "well, maybe you'll only be a few weeks behind her". I sure hope so. I've got my thermometer, my OPK's and my SMEP ready to make this happen!
30 is soooo young!! I'm turning 41 in a few weeks--Eek!! You have plenty of time. I only have a year before some places won't allow you to use your own eggs. And right now I'm in wating hell.
I have no idea what day of my cycle I am because the doc put me on BCP then progesterone to stop my period (which ended up making it worse and really heavy). Now I'm off of everything and waiting to take my CD3 hormone levels, but still no AF (and as of last week, BFN). It's been 40 days since my period ended and I'm just waiting...
awe. Thanks! How have you been feeling?
For me, it's not a age thing. It's not like oh I turn 30 and my eggs are going to die. It's about a desire I've had since I was young. It's about having the mothering instinct since I was a preteen. And wanting to be a mother and wanting that to happen before I'm 30.
Doesn't make the desire any less than yours or our waiting/anticipation/disappointment any less than yours because you are 40 and not 30.
I've been TTC for 7 months, some others 11 months and others even longer. It's the angst in the TTC time not the age.
@regberadaisy: ((foot in mouth)) Ugh—I thought about what I said while falling asleep and I realized what an ass I sounded like! You are totally right, when you are ready and stuck in waiting mode—it totally sucks regardless of the reason. I think I just wanted sympathy for not only being stuck in waiting mode, but feeling like I have a guillotine about to fall—ka-chunk, game over.
The worst part is that with baby making, you feel like you have no control. You are at the mercy of your body and biology. Even if you have outside help, there is no guarantee that the millions of things that have to happen will happen.
@regberadaisy: Please forgive me for my previous comment!
No worries! I over reacted as well because I'm starting to get to that sad, desperate stage.
Le sigh.
Baby dust to ALL!
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I am having one of those days where all I can think about is babies. Specifically, the fact that I haven't been able to get pregnant yet.
For the most part, TTC is always in the back of my mind, but today it feels all consuming.
I am trying to keep myself busy with work. (So far that has been an epic fail, sorry boss).
Just wanted to throw this out there so others who are having the same kinda day can vent.