Post # 1
I’m curious if there’s any correlation between having been together for a long time and living together before marriage and TTC timelines after marriage. I’ve noticed a lot of the bees who TTC a little before or right after the wedding say “well we’ve lived together for ages so we already had lots of “just us” time!”
Personally, I won’t get to live with my man full-time until about a year AFTER marriage (due to immigration, I’d actually LOVE to live in sin with him for awhile). So I would be kind of bummed if we got pregnant right away since that would never get a chance for real couple time until after the kids are grown.
ETA: For the purposes of this poll, “waiting” will be 1+ year and “TTC” will be unprotected sex while being hopeful for a pregnancy.
Post # 3
@worldtraveler: No correlation for us! We have been together for over 10 years, married for 3 months. We have lived together for 5 years and we will not TTC for another 5-7 years. We are only 25 and 27, so age is definitely a factor for us.
Post # 4
We’ve been together almost 5 years, living together for about 3 and married for one. we got pregnant because we were ready. But we are in our 30s and if we were younger im sure it would have been a longer timeline.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2011 - Baby boy 12/2015
@worldtraveler: I am not sure what a long time means, but by the time we start TTC, we would have been together for 6 years, living together for about 3. Age is also a factor as I wanted to be 30 when we start having babies plus we are getting to that point where we are both ready. I am probably more ready than DH but still working on a few things.
Post # 6
Dated for three years, engaged recently and will be for 18-24 months. Don’t live together as I took my dream job 367 miles from his home (we lived 25 minutes apart before I took thips job and only for our first year of dating). Once his house sells, keep your fingers crossed for us as it has been on the market since July, we will live together before marriage. We will not TTC. In fact we will try very hard not to. I have some medical issues thative us about a 10% chance of conceiving and if we get that far! we only have another 10% chance of carrying a fetus long enough for it to be viable. And all if this puts my health at serious risk. We have decided that our two dogs and the two if us are our perfect family :).
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
Together 6 years before engagement, 8 years before marriage, started TTC after 5 years of marriage. We got together when I was 17 and he was 19. Now I’m 31 and he’s 33.
Post # 8
I’m not sure what your definition of together for a “long time” or TTC “immediately” are but we will have been together for 3 1/2 years when we marry, we lived together before marriage, and plan to TTC ~7 months after we marry (after 4 years together).
Post # 9
FI and I have been together 4.5 years. We have lived together for 3.5 years. And we have been TTC for 11 months, engaged 3.5 months 🙂
Our plan is if we get pregnant before 2014, we will put the wedding off for a year. If we do not get pregnant, we will both get checked out by a doctor to see if there’s anything wrong. If we need fertility drugs or assistance, we will wait. We will get married in 2015 and then TTC again after that. If we do not need fertility drugs or assistance, we will continue to TTC until we put any deposits down for the wedding. At that point we will change our focus to wedding planning instead.
Post # 10
@worldtraveler: We met February 2010 (I basically started staying with him right away), engaged october 2011, Married Oct 2012 pregnant July 2013, baby will be here March 2014.
Post # 11
together 5 years, lived together 4 years, waiting till around a year of marriage to TTC.
Post # 12
We were together for 3 1/2 years before we moved in together. Lived together 9 months before marriage and conceived 6 months after wedding. 🙂 We are now 25.
Post # 13
I don’t know what the long time/short time is, but we moved in together after a year, got married at about 3 years, and waited a year and a half after that to start TTC. For us, it had as much as anything to do with school/work – we moved in together when our leases ran out, we got married after graduation before work started, and we knew the first two years of work would be really tough and time-consuming, so we wouldn’t be able to have a child until those two years were up (we started TTC 6 months before that though). We were on the same page about when to have kids though, and we definitely had a good balance of time with just us versus being young-ish parents. We’re also at good ages (met in grad school, I’ll be 29 when I deliver), so that’s obviously different than if we had met in high school or something.
I think it’s funny actually how much major relationship events are impacted by things like leases, graduations, etc.
Post # 14
We have been together 2.5 years, married for 7 months and living together for almost 2.5 years. we are expecting our first right before our first wedding anniversary. granted it wasn’t planned really we would have started TTC ariund this tiMe. If we hadn’t lived together before marriage we likely would have waited a year to TTC.
Post # 15
Together 5 years, have lived together for 3, just married. Planning to TTC after we’ve been married for about 9 months, at which point we’ll have been together for close to 6 years and lived together for 4.
Age is a major factor (we will be 32 and 36 at TTC time), as well as the factors you mentioned and general readiness.
Post # 16
We’ve been together 2 1/2 years, living together for almost one (didn’t live together before marriage), and are waiting to TTC for at least 3 more years. We are ‘ready’ (financially stable, emotionally prepared, etc.) for a child now, but we want time together before we worry about having children. Focusing on our marriage is our top priority for now.