Post # 1
We are in the process of a domestic semi-open adoption. We are going through an ethical agency and our child will most likely be a baby (our agency works closely with pregnant women). We expressed openess to children 0-4 years old.
After lots of work we are finally at the point where we’ll have our home study. If all goes as planned that should be done by the end of January. Then our profiles will be shown! We’re so close!!!! A million things could go wrong but still. I’m optimistic.
I used to think adoption was something that we wouldn’t be able to do until we were older. We are 25 and 26. I used to think all kinds of things would stop us from being adoptive parents and that we would have to wait.There are so many myths and outdated facts/opinions out on the web about what it takes to adopt! I am glad I didn’t listen. I’m so happy that we stopped just talking about it and actually started our journey.
Post # 3
@LuluInLove: Why did you choose adoption?
I have a friend who is adopting. She says she is “paper pregnant” which I think is super cute! 🙂
Post # 4
@LuluInLove: how exciting! Good luck!
Post # 5
@aliavenue: We chose adoption because we want to be parents. We figured there are so many kids who need parents, why make one ourselves. We work with children so that helped us realize we can really love a child as if it were our own biological.
The majority of current adoption threads here are about adopting aninals. lol. It’s good to hear of someone else going through the process.
Post # 6
Not in the process of adopting but just thought I would extend my support! How exciting! I really hope everything goes smoothly for you!
Post # 7
@LuluInLove: good for you! That’s exciting!! We are talking about it. Interested in your experience!
Post # 8
Congratulations! Do you have any favorite informational resources on adoption of kiddos on the older range org your spectrum (Like, 3-6.) adoption very much appeals to me for similar reasons, and as I am not particularly fond of babies, have considered an older child (bonus, as it is apparantly not uncommon for couples to want only babies.)
I’m not at a stage where I’m ready to start, but it never hurts to research!
Post # 9
I would love to adopt at some point, maybe as a second baby. I would really love to adopt out of foster care, but honestly, I think DH and I are just not good candidates at all. We move relatively often and so much of the foster/older child adoption really requires the stability and committment not to make positive relationships with existing relatives any more strained.
Adopting a baby/toddler would be amazing, but I think the financial constraints might be outside our financial means.
Post # 10
@Bracelet00: The thing with adoption is there are so many ways to go about it.I would suggest you to start by reading adoption blogs. Everyone’s journey is different and being able to get the story from the people going through it is the most beneficial. I learned so much by going to the start of a blog and working my way back. I would also pick out posts that were especially inspiring and show them to my husband.
The best thing you can do is figure out what your options are. Start searching for stuff specific to where you live. Look for agencies and/or learn about becoming a foster parent. There are differences between adopting from foster care and adopting through an ethical agency. One is that not all foster kids are really orphans (their families are unfit to care for them but they might have family members seeking custody). In our state foster parents get “dibs” on the child they are fostering once that child is available for adoption. The goal of the state is reunification, not adoption. They want to see the kids go home. Adoption can only happen when every measure has been taken (that’s why so many kids are stuck in the system). So unless you become a foster parent, it is very difficult to adopt a child that way. I can just speak for where I’m at though. The situation may or may not be different in your area.
We can’t foster because we work with troubled children and it would hurt the kids we work with to get attached to a member of our family who then had to go back to where they came from. Also, our agency works with expectant moms without pressuring them to give up their children. They help them and give them the resources they need to be able to parent if at all possible. In our case, adopting through an agency made much more sense.
@Mrs.LemonDrop: Why do you guys move so often? Are we talking about every month or once every couple of years?
We thought we would not be able to afford it either. When you see the price tag it can seem impossible but it’s not if you break it up. We saved about half of our costs in a two year time period (before we were even sure if we were ready for kids). Then we started the process this September. In our agency you pay as you go which is nice. We keep setting money aside as we go through the process. Also, after the home study is done we can apply for adoption grants. People also do fundraisers. There is also an adoption tax credit than help you get some of those costs back after the adoption. As a last option there are also low interest adoption loans or even personal loans. We will most likely not need that when all is said and done.
Post # 11
@LuluInLove: this may be a super intrusive question so feel free to not answer, but roughly how much is this costing you guys? I am extremely interested in adoption, but have read that it is insanely expensive. That you guys are close to our age gives me hope! I am asking purely as someone who wants to go down the same path , not to start drama…
Post # 12
We have talked about adoption someday. As an adoptee it definitely appeals to me. A great book to read is the Primal Wound. my adoptive mom says she wishes that book was around when her and my dad were going through the adoption process.
Post # 13
@LuluInLove: How exciting! Adoption is something that me and DH want to do some day as well. I agree there isn’t many adoption boards on WB so I’d love to see more posts from you with updates!
Post # 14
No advice but yay! Super exciting and right around the corner.
Post # 15
Congrats! My husband and I will adopt if we have kids too.
Post # 16
Thanks everyone for your support!
@bkrocks13: Honestly, I don’t mind sharing because I know I was curious too. Lots of adoption bloggers share their journey as they fundraise and what not so it was nice reading about costs. If you could (and anyone else is reading this) please read my reponse above to Mrs.LemonDrop before you fall over your chair. I don’t want the number to discourage you. When all is said and done it will be 16k plus some legal fees. We are young, not rich, not home owners, and we have a ton of student loans. Those are things I thought for sure would stop us. They didn’t! It can be done.
@kywydsgirl: That’s awesome that you were adopted. I’ve heard of it and I think I’ll put it next on my list! I’m currently reading The Connected Child by Karen Purvis (great for any expectant parent, highly recommend it) and The Open Adoption Book.