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If you don't have issues, just any advice in general would be greatly appreciated. I'm stressed. I'll take whatever you can give me.
No lady issues over here. Just age. Since we both want 2 kids, Hubby and I started trying 9 months after the wedding. I'll be a month shy of 34 when baby is born in January. Then we'll probably start trying again a little sooner than would be ideal for me. I would have probably waited longer after marriage and would want more space between kids if we were younger. That being said, I'm not sure there's ever a perfect time. Hubby is currently unemployed. My job/salary is sufficient but I'd love to have some of the pressure off of me. Carrying a child, being the sole breadwinner... But I guess that's life right now. Good luck whatever happens!
We don't have any known issues (but I have been on birth control non-stop since I was 15), so I can't relate that way, but I really think that people shouldn't rush TTC.
There will be fear about conception, even if you have no known problems, but I think that jumping the gun before you are in a good place for a baby is a bad idea (I know everyone says that you will never be completely ready but I don't buy that). If you get pregnant before you are emotionally, and financially ready, you are going to have a ton more stress, and questioning wether you did the right thing which isn't good for anyone involved.
I think you do the best you can to manage your medical condition, and then keep your timeline in the forefront. There are options to medically assist TTC if it is difficult when the time comes.
@Ms Mini: We actually would be ok financially/emotionally if we went ahead and started trying now. We don't have saved up quite as much as we would like to, but it is doable for sure. We definitely wouldn't try until we knew that the baby would be completely taken care of, so that's not quite the issue for us. It is just weighing whether or not we should move ahead of the schedule we had so set. I think it would be nerve wracking in any case to move ahead of schedule, but I wonder why people choose to and how they adjust to it.
I don't have endo but I do suffer from infertility. Even if you do start trying sooner rather than later, you still don't know when you will get pregnant. DH and I have been TTC for the last five months with the help of a fertility doctor and still no pregnancy...
Ultimately it is up to you and your DH on when you want to start TTC. It might help you to see if you can get a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist just to talk to him about your issues and see what he would recommend.
@bloodgo1: I would start trying now. My mother and I both have endo. Mine is very very mild, which I am fortunate for, but my mother didn't have as great of luck.
To make a long story short my mother and father tried to conceive for 5 years with only one child as a result. My poor mom had 4 known miscarriages and an extremely difficult pregnancy/child birth with me. I'm not trying to scare you, but I don't want to sugar coat the condition.
I know for me personally, it's a constant terror thinking about the "what if." With endometriosis the sooner you can have children the better. If you wait you have to be aware that you are running the risk that you may never be able to have children. If you've already went though the procedure to remove extra tissues and it's come back agressively you might already have problems with TTC.
I'm sorry if I'm being blunt about this, but I know how terrible the outcome of this condition can be. Personally, I get checked out once every six months. If anything unusual ever happens in regard to my menstration, cramping, etc. I am at the docotrs immediately to keep the condition monitored. At this stage I have been told that my fertility should be realitively uneffected and things haven't progressed too far, but my doctor always cautions that things could change drastically when you least expect it.
IMO If you are financially and emotionally ready you should start trying now. For me personally I know that the day my doctor tells me my condition has worsened we'll be trying immediately. I couldn't live with myself if I knew that my waiting had caused infertility for me.
My best advice is really just to be in tune with your body as much as possible. Do a lot of reading on the topic to keep yourself informed and check in with a doctor often. Ultimately you have to do what feels right and if you are not ready to have children then waiting is okay too. Good luck and I hope you have nothing but luck when trying to conceive.
A girlfriend of mine has endo. She has a 2 year old now.
It took her about 2 years to get pregnant (but I'm not sure how much they were really "trying"), but because she had so many issues she didn't know she was pregnant till about 2 mos in. Not much help since everyone is different, but her story had a happy ending.
ejs has endo. I'll let her speak for herself. We had time crunch issues (I was 38). We have a healthy happy 5 month old!
I have fibroid issues. Having surgery to remove them in 2 1/2 weeks. (I have about 15 of them-three of which are baseball and softball size! Yikes!) We will have to try again as soon as possible after the surgery (must wait at least 3 months, though) because the fibroids can grow back. :( That's my main concern. And not sure if we'll be able to have two babies. Also, I'm 33 so my age is a factor.
I don't know much about endo. What do they say about the longer you wait? I definitely don't generally think it is good to have a baby before you are ready, but if I personally knew that I may have trouble conceiving in a few years and I was "mostly ready" for a baby and we definitely could manage (financially, etc.) I wouldn't wait. But you have to do what is right for both of you!!
Oy. I have endo and am currently TTC with problems. It definetly changed our time even though I am 30, I would have not minded waiting a few more years if I was perfectly healthy. Does not matter now, because we are excited and ready and never wanted anything more. We found my endo in 2008 when I had to have lapo to remove recurrent, growing cysts, 5 to be exact, on my right ovary. However, in surgery they found my fallopian tube and ovary completely scarred from endo and there is a great amount more. Therefore lost my rt ovary and tube. My OB said I should be prepared to have all my children by 35. That was 2 yrs ago and I was 28 and we were not engaged yet. Now we have been trying since March and it has been very difficult. They fear my endo is spreading bc my periods the last few mths have been heavier and oh so painful. My OB is very on top of what is going on and has proceed to do some testing. I have an HSG on Wed morning and a recheck of my progesterone levels after my next ovulation this cycle bc last mth they were extremely low. If I am still low I start Clomid next mth.
Honestly, now with all this going on, something I never expected, I am scared more than ever. So many things are going through my head. I am glad we decided to try now, bc what if we did wait? We did look at finances and things ahead of time as well, but we were all set there. But we talked and even if were not set on all the right things, we probably would have still started to try early bc this is something we have both wanted for so long. Not trying to be a downer or scare you, just wanted to let you know that I am going through this and should you have any questions please feel free to PM me anytime!
I am having some kind of "lady issues". I went to the gyno in June and she said everything looked good and my pap and thyroid test came back normal. So I decided to just wait it out then in August things looked like they were straightening themselves out. Now theres all sorts of craziness goin' on down there. I think it's a combination of needing to lose weight and it got worse when we had to move 3 hours away from friends and family. I currently don't have any insurance. When I turned 24 I was kicked off my parents insurance. I moved in with FI and never got insurance for myself. I have always been a healthy person who goes years without needing to go to the doctors for any besides regular check ups. Plus I couldn't afford it. In June mmy gyno was asking if I planned on getting insurance. At this point I will be married in less than a year I might as well wait it out (probably not how I should see it but oh well).
I am very concerned about not being able to have kids. I am 25 will be 26 by the time we start TTC. Just thinking about having missed my chance I have a lump in my chest/throat and my stomach churns.
My family is pretty fertile, in other words a lot of mistakes in my family. The thing is there are a lot of teen pregnancies in my family and they have lots of kids. I'm nervous because I waited I missed my chance because now there is something wrong. I don't know what is wrong but something is not right down under.
Thanks for all of your input bees. And trust me, you don't have to worry about trying to scare me. I've known that I have reproductive issues since I was like 16 years old so none of these thoughts are new to me.
Here is the other scary part of waiting. If we wait until the "ideal time" to try so that it would be perfectly timed with his 4th year of med school but say it ends up taking us awhile to actually conceive, we could wind up having the baby smack in the midst of my husband's residency which like I said before would just be awful because he will be working 80+ hours a week.
Just my personal opinion, and I know others wouldn't agree, but if I knew I had issues and time was not on my side, I would be TTC as soon as I could. Being a mom is really, really important to me. I feel like school and careers could always be pushed back later. Not easy, but not impossible either. I would be devastated if I waited too long and my chance past. I know adoption is always an option, but, lets be honest; it's really, really hard to adopt a baby unless you go through private adoption which is just so incredibly expensive. I've been having some lady issues and went to the gyno last week and I'm pending the results of a blood test because it appeared I might have PCOS. Luckily it also looked like I was at least ovulating still, but if time was running out, I think my husband and I would be trying much sooner.
JoesWifey I actually agree with you. I told FI and have been saying this that a career will always be waiting for me. Having kids is not a for sure thing and even without fertility problems you only have so long to be able to have kids.
Having kids is so important to me. I have been ready for years now. When I knew FI was the "one" and we were talking about the future I expressed how I felt about having kids and how I don't want to be older than 25 when I start having kids. Well I will 26 by the time we start... I personally don't want to be an older mom and I want my kids to all be close in age. My parents had my brother 11 years after me and they were in their mid to late 30's which is fine but I can def. see the difference between my sister and my childhood and my parents then and my brother and his childhood and my parents now. I think it is a personal decision on what age is right for you so I am not trying to offend anyone.
As for adoption, I know it is hard because my cousin has been trying to adopt for years and years and just now was able to. I personal would rather have at least one of my own and then I'd be ok adopting if I couldn't have more. I want to whole experience of pregnancy, birth, being with my baby from the moment it is born. I know pregnancy isn't a walk in the park but I want to experience it none the less from morning sickness to feeling the baby move and hearing its little heart beat.
Hey hun...I have endometriosis too. I am 22 years old, will be 23 a month after we get married. I am having laproscopic surgery this Dec 14th to have it removed. I had an internal ultrasound done last week and my uterus is now retroverted (and wasn't a year ago when I had an internal ultrasound done), so doctor said it's deffinitly gotten worse. I've been suffering from it since I was 16, been on BC for 7 years...had period stopped completely through continuous BC 3 years ago. Pain is still horrible, but I just deal with it because they can't find anything to get rid of the pain...we've seriously tried every "good" pain med there is for endo and none works...so thats why I'm finally having the surgery....hopefully it helps. We're not wanting any kids anytime SOON...one because of age, 2 because I'm graduating nursing school in 54 days so money is an issue, and 3 we're just not ready! BUT, I've had the SAME exact questions that you have had...which is why I've been terrified to have my surgery. One because, i AM so young, theres no telling how much will come back by the time we ARE ready to TTC (which will be roughly around 28y/o) but we're also scared that if we wait too late, just like you, we're scared our chances will be shot out the window. I'm not sure if you're religious or not, we are, so the way we look at it is, whatever happens was all in God's plans.
Good luck hun, and PM me if you have any other questions, because I truly feel your pain! (literally)
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Any bees out there with "lady issues" that influenced when you were going to TTC? My "lady issue" is endometriosis and it really scares me to wait 2 more years (which would be the most ideal time) to start TTC. Endo is a big chance filled waiting game really. You know it is there, but you don't really know where, and you don't really know how quickly it is worsening either. But the my last gyno visit to check up really got me worried because my gyno advised me to not wait much longer to start trying. I've already had surgery and it came back, and I'm on lupron but it isn't working the way we had hoped because I'm still getting light periods and extreme pain.
I can't even imagine how horrible it would be if we waited 2 years and couldn't conceive because we missed our chance. Also, we don't want to wait too long either way because my husband will be starting his residency and obviously prime time to have a baby is not when he is working 80+ hours/week so that is why we wanted to have our first ideally during his 4th year of med school when there is time for him to be around.
So even though it screwed up your "ideal time" to have your baby, did you go ahead and start trying ahead of schedule since you were worried about your lady issues messing up your ability to conceive?