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You don't have an option for us that are already pregnant. But I figured I went through the TTC process so I can still answer. We started TTC right after we got married. I think it was a combination of age and just both of us really wanting a baby. We felt like we lived together before we got marriage, so it's not like we need to spend a lot of alone time just the two of us. Career wasn't an issue for me b/c I quit my job 6 months before we got married due to health reasons, and we just decided to have me keep not working until later on in life b/c I didn't want to work while pregnant, again health reasons.
We're definitely waiting for a few years. I have no desire to be a mother right now. We're only 25 and we have a lot of things that we would like to do and see before we have kids and no longer have the opportunity. It seems like a lot of people start trying immediately after marriage and that's fine if that's what works for them but it's definitely not on our agenda for atleast a few years. Could we afford a baby? Sure, but I'd rather spend our money on us, not diapers and formula.
We are still technically waiting - I am off the pill, but we won't start "trying" until July (I am kind of obsessed with having a spring baby). That means we will wait about 10 months after the wedding. I think for us it's an age and time issue - I am 30, so I am ready, and we have been together for 7+ years, so I am not worried about having time together (something that I think is important for every couple to do before having kids). The wait after the wedding had everything to do with wanting to get some travel in, enjoying the first few months of marriage without the stress of TTC, and just taking one thing at a time. That being said, we really aren't waiting that long. :o)
We're waiting for another 3 or 4 years to start trying to concieve. I voted that we're waiting for "other reasons" because I see it as more "money/income reasons" but I guess you could also classify it under "career reasons" too.
I have no desire to have any kind of a "career" beyond being a stay-at-home mom. But in order for me to do that, DH has to make enough money and be far enough along in his career that I can afford to quit working and stay home. We aniticpate that happening in about 3 or 4 years, at which point in time, we will begin TTC. We could afford a baby now without any problems, but I would have to be a working mother instead of a SAHM, which isn't the path/plan that either of us want.
Would I love to have a bavy soon? YES. Is it going to happen? NO
I am just getting ready to start my last year in a doctorate program and will be doing a master's program simultaneously. After that, post-graduate training will likely be necessary. I want to wait until my career really starts to actually have a child.
I'm 24, he's 28.
We're waiting for a few reasons. One, I'm only temp at my job and trying to get permanent. DH is working out of town right now because he can't get a decent job in his field close by. So he's working 24 days on and 4 days off. Not ideal for having a baby. And we also want to buy a house first. So we'll be waiting another couple of years.
We wanted to start ttc right after we were married but, i am having second thoughts. I don't know when the right time will actually be or if it ever will be. I just feel there is a little more i want to accomplish in my life before brining in a baby that depends on me. Yes we are potentially set for a child, low amount of debt, vehicles, a house we own, good jobs blah blah blah. But, i always want more and want better before i bring a child into the world. I always wanted to be a mom by the time i was 20 not that goal has turned to 25. I will be 23 just 3 days after we get married so i really should get on with trying for a baby if i want to meet my goal. But, could waiting another year really be that bad. Not only could we buy a newer and larger house by than but, be just that much more financially set for the little rascal. It's a huge and hard decision.
We're not trying yet but just had a talk about this on Sunday. Looks like January 2012!
@stephinPA: Funny - our big talk was Sunday, too. I guess Mother's Day brings it out.
We're waiting for financial and logistical reasons. We want to move to my hometown, buy a house. and get settled for a few years as a couple before we start trying. It's in the 5 year plan though.
We are hopefully going to be able to TTC soon after the wedding but we are firm on waiting until FI has a good and steady job. The sooner the better for us though, we have already lived together and have had a lot of us time.. I got pregnant completely unexpectedly a few years ago (we miscarried) but it totally got us ready and in the mind frame for having a baby. So here's hoping he finds a good job soon!
We want a few years of marriage together before bringing a baby into the mix - just seems right for us! We are doing a 6 month trip backpacking through Asia this year, moving to the bay area, getting new jobs, getting re-established. We have too many things changing to throw a baby into the mix. Plus, I just really believe in having a firmly established marriage prior to conceiving. I'm 27 and he is 33 (almost 34), so it isn't an age thing really - we'll start around the time I turn 30, we think.
@fvsoccer: We're going to be TTC after the summer. For us, it'll be two years of marriage child free. I really wanted two years of just the two of us doing our own thing, being a couple. We've been together 5 years before marrying, but I think marriage is different and we need to enjoy our marriage before life becomes all about kids. Right now, the last few months of our two years have been hard because everyone is pregnant right now. I'm now definitely ready for kids. I honestly wasn't when we got married. It seemed like too many changes all at once if we got pregnant right away with buying a condo, moving, and honeymoon. Having those two years has helped me enjoy life as well as be ready for pregnancy and kids in the future.
For us, getting married & starting a baby went hand in hand because we've been together 11 years (I'm a bee in hiding... for a little while) we decided that we wanted to do both after 9 years together. That's when we got engaged, got married a year and half later and pregnant within a few months. I'm 31, he's 47 and for us, it's time.
I have lots of friends that had a bit of trouble getting pregnant and with our age difference, we were hoping it would happen sooner rather than later. Just 'cause you never know.
@lilsneakers: I love that avatar, LOL! are you a regular bee that uses this username for certain posts?
@fvsoccer: we are waiting probably until end of fall to start. I went off the pill, but we're using condoms. I'm graduating grad school in May 2012, so we'd like to aim to have a baby after that.
Well, when we met, I was in the process of separating from my ex, so the first few months, I was in a temp apartment and moved twice. Then, it was a year of travelling back and forth from my place to his place all the time. Then, we got engaged and I moved to his place. Then, we were planning the wedding.
So, we wanted a little bit of time for just the two of us before starting a family and decided that we'd wait two years. We wanted to relax, enjoy each other and travel some more. We did this, and now I'm pregnant and will be having our baby close to our two years anniversary. We didn't want to wait more than that because of our age, I'm in my twenties, but he's in his mid-thirties and we felt it was now or never.
My FI and I are planning on moving back to my hometown before we have kids, because it's more financially sound for us. It's just too expensive out here.
Plus, we'd like to be close to my parents, mostly for the help and also so they can grow up near them.
I'm a type 1 diabetic, so my health also dictates when I have kids, but primarily it's the moving bit that's getting us. I could be ready to have a baby within 6 months of the wedding, but we won't be moving for at least another 1-2 years. Which I think is good. I went to spend some time married before bringing kids on board, though I am VERY excited and happy to do that.
@sorrycharlie: thanks, hehe & yep - using this name until I'm a little farther along... got pregnant a little faster than we thought we would ;)
TTC as of wedding night! The reasoning is Hubby waited to propose till I was 33....we just married and Im 34, in Aug I will be 35, no time to wait.
Hubby is 30....I guess he felt like he had all the time in the world. :)
We are going to start TTC the Wedding Night! We've lived together for 3 years, and for 6 months our old roommate had a newborn and we are like second parents to him...needless to say we've both been baby crazy and very ready to be parents. We just wanted to wait until the Wedding Night to make it that much more special :)
We've known for a long time that we wanted to have babies together, and DH had always wanted children (it took me a little while) but we started TTC a few months after our wedding. If it was completely up to me, we would have started trying on our honeymoon!
I'm 33 and DH is 30. Aside from being old, I'm all traveled out and feel like I've experienced life enough to want to settle down. It just seems like a natural progression to me and I'm thrilled to be able to do that with the love of my life. Although DH is the one that's known he's always wanted children, it took him a while to be "ready".
We bought a house in a wonderful neighborhood that's so ridiculously family friendly. There's a daycare and a little park with a playground around the corner, a lake just walking distance with actual sheep they let graze in an area so kids can see them, an elementary school across the way. It hurts a little every month to not be pregnant, but I know it'll happen eventually.
My only thing to add is that TTC may take a little while. I'm surrounded by people that weren't even trying and they got pregnant, but it's definitely NOT as easy as what our high school teachers tell us!
The hubby and I have known for a while that we want to conceive asap, but we need to address our finances first, and once those are addressed, I need to have surgery.
I have endomitriosis (hopefully I spelled that right!!). I don't have pain, ovarian cysts, or really any symptoms of it, but I did have a miscarriage about 2 1/2 years ago due to it. We are hoping that once are finances are set, I can have all the scar tissue removed. We would love to have two of our own children, but one of our own, and one adopted would be fantastic too!
We have waited as long as we have for career reasons. I was prior Active Duty Military, and DH is still Active Duty. Like you said, being in the Military and getting pregnant at the wrong time is a big no-no in that frield. We recently a few mos back started to TTC, that lasted a couple months then we stopped because we found out DH was going to have to go to Afghanistan for 16 months leaving next March. So I didnt want to have a baby only a few mos old and then have him leave and come back to an almost 2 yr old. So we stopped. We WERE really trying for this year. But with the career thing yet again, we will be trying again in another 2.5 yrs. It totally sucks because I am not going to lie, I totally started to get the baby itch end of last year, and even WORSE this year. At first when I found out he was leaving it took some time for me to "let go" of my baby dreams knowing it would be a few years again. I think for the most part I have settled with it. Just really stinks. DH and I will both be in our young-mid 30s by the time we can start trying again. Which is not bad but just hard when you want one like NOW!
I noticed that lots of girls on this site TTC very shortly after marriage as well...it's interesting. Personally, we are getting married 3 days before my 29th birthday and ideally would like 3 children. I would be fine waiting until I am about 32 to TTC or even 33, as I would like to go to grad school beforehand. There is also the possibility we TTC in January 2014 (one year and 4 months after marriage), and then we can focus on the baby before I go to grad school which may be a better idea...and have a second child shortly after grad school if all goes well. I def want to have a baby, but I really feel strongly about us living together for a year or more as a married couple before we TTC. Each to their own though!
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Hey bees,
I've been looking around on the bee for a while now and have noticed a TON of bees that are TTC pretty soon after their wedding. That is so cool. I was just wondering how many people out there AREN'T trying yet(we're not going to try for about 10 years) and why others are waiting. Do you think you will make it to you "deadline" if you have an age in mind? Have you had any crazed "I want a baby NOW!" moments yet (I know I have, weird dreams, ya know) ?
Also, for the bees TTC...what made you think it was the right time? Are you at all worried about the combined pressure of a new marriage and a new baby? I'll share with you all since I'm asking for responses: We're getting married Nov and I graduate from college in Dec. We are putting baby plans on hold because I am joining the Air Force right after college, so baby would be a big ole road block in my career. We've got about 3-4 residence moves in the first 2-3 years of being married and MrMeese wants to attend grad school as well right after that (so do I). So pretty much we are just waiting to be more settled in career/marriage and less career driven! How about all you bees out there, what are you waiting for, besides baby??