Post # 1
We’re getting married on a Tuesday. According to various threads and comments I’ve read on various websites, this means that less than half our guests will come and the ones that do will leave at 8pm. The more comments I read about it, the more I want to cry!
The thing is, we’re getting married on a Tuesday purely for financial reasons. Friday through Sunday at our venue is $900. Monday through Wednesday is $300 and they don’t hold events on Thursdays. You see? Holding our event on a weekday is saving $700! We’re on a serious budget and that’s a lot of money to us! Our guest list is small – 70 people, family and close friends only. But if only half our guests show up that means only 35 people and in that case why even rent a venue at all? And if they all leave at 8pm why am I even booking a DJ? Our ceremony will begin at 4:30pm, cocktail hour will begin at 5pm, Reception will begin at 6pm, dinner served at 6:30pm… if everyone leaves at 8pm there will be no dancing and I really want dancing.
I guess the purpose of the post is for reassurance. I’m becoming more and more distraught over this and I need someone I don’t know (someone not biased because they love me) to tell me I’m not being inconsiderate and that there is a chance I will have more than 35 guests and that the reception will last until 9:30pm at least.
Post # 3
I’m going to be very honest. I would absolutely GO to a Tuesday wedding (if it were local), but I wouldn’t stay late either. I’d have to work the next day! I understand your need to save money, but you really should come to terms with the idea that not a LOT of people are going to be celebrating the night away with you.
I’m sorry, I know it’s not what you wanted to hear.
Post # 4
couple of thoughts:
1) the fewer the number of people you invite, the better the chances that more of them will come, as they are generally closer to you, so you’ve got that going for you
2) if i weren’t local, however, i probably wouldn’t go to a tuesday wedding. in my opinion, even monday would be better because at least if i were traveling i’d also get the weekend there
Post # 5
I definitely do not need people to party the night away. I was planning on doing our exit at 10pm. I planned on that because I work a m-f, 8-5 job and 10pm is when I would probably leave if it was someone else’s wedding. Is 10pm too late to expect though? It is local -all OOT guests are close family and will come no matter what day of the week it is and the rest have no more than 30 min to travel.
Post # 6
I have two thoughts
1. 4:30 is very early for a weekday ceremony, you may have some guests that make it for the reception only
2. I’d probably stay until 10 BUT I also probably wouldn’t be in the greatest partying mood. Its just hard to relax and enjoy yourself when you have work the next day
Post # 7
tuesday is a hard day to come to a wedding.. cant you find a cheaper venue? a friend of mine got married on a tuesday and very few people showed up, most came late after they finished work and left early. so i dont kno if its worth it to save all money and not have alot of people there
Post # 8
Ignore any and all naysayers’ comments because they are under the (usually incorrect) assumption that you are inviting people spur of the moment. Those who want to be there will find a way and will stay as long as possible. Since your date is over a year away, you send out save the dates 12 months in advance so that people have time to prepare (scheduling vacations, etc). Then you send out invites at the standard 6- 8 weeks before.
Folks get married midweek all the time with no issues at all. You just don’t hear about it because the majority prefer the more expensive weekends and shove everything else under the carpet and don’t want you to know that there are other feasible options.
There is nothing to worry about regarding your choice. The ones who complain are the ones you don’t want to have in attendance.
Post # 9
I think that, for a lot of your guests, decisions will have to be made about exactly how much time they can spend dedicated to your wedding. For me, I would have to consider taking time off work both on the day and possibly the day after if I was going to party until ten at night. Look at your guest list and figure out realistically how many of your guests will be likely to do that. Decide whether you value the large wedding or the venue more and plan accordingly.
Post # 10
@Selene221: Are you speaking from experience? or just opinion?
Post # 11
Provided you give plenty of notice it shouldn’t be an issue for a lot of people. I would absolutely take a day off work for good friend/close family member.
Post # 12
My future SIL has her wedding on a Tuesday, but her reasoning was because she wanted to get married on their anniversary date. With that being said – her wedding turned out beautiful. She had quite a bit of guests show up She invited around 100 and about 60 showed. And for the most part everyone stayed. The only people that had left early were the ones that had the little kids and the elder. But I think as long as you give people enough time to request off for your wedding then it will be fine. Granted, people will lleave a little early because most work early hours the next day and if they had a bit of a travel. I’m sure everything will work out with your wedding and you will be happy :”]]
Post # 13
If would prefer to attend a wedding on a Monday, rather than a Tuesday, simply because I’d rather extend the weekend instead of weekend, work, day off/wedding, back to work (if that makes sense).
If Monday is not possible, I think with enough warning the people closest to you will make the proper arrangements to be there. 10pm seems like a reasonable end time.
Post # 14
We had our wedding on a Tuesday–at noon on a Tuesday, actually. Even though all of our invited guests were OOT, they were also only immediate family and very close friends. All of them came.
If most of your guests are in-town, that will also help. Even people who can’t stay the whole time may well come for a few hours.
Post # 15
I would go to a Tuesday wedding in town after work (6 would be great; dinner at 7; dancing at 8) and would probably leave around 10. But most parents will have to take their kids home much earlier unless they can find a babysitter. I would go to a Tuesday wedding out of town for a close friend or family member. How about a different venue? Where in Northern CA are you? How about a park – it’s usually around $50 for a park venue. Or a city-owned place if you want more privacy? There’s one here we could have had on a Saturday for $300.
Post # 16
Anyone who is truly close to you will stay. I went to a Tuesday wedding, but it wasn’t a super close friend and I left around 9. If I was closer, or family, I would have stayed longer and maybe even taken the day off the next day.
I don’t think a Tuesday wedding will feel the same as a Friday or Saturday, but if it’s your only option then just got for it and really prepare people ahead of time.
Are there any free venues you could find access to? Like the backyard of a family member? You still have a lot of time to be creative…