- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I've seen many threads on other boards about who, if anyone, is walking the bride down the aisle. I've noticed that most of the younger brides (in their 20s) have their dad or some other father/mother figure walk them down, whereas most of the people who walk the aisle alone are either over 30, or it's their second marriage, or both. I'm just wondering...are there any twenty-something brides entering their first marriage who are walking the aisle alone?
I'm 22, will be 23 at our wedding, this will be my first, and I am solid in my decision to walk alone. I don't feel as if I'm anyone's to be "given away", or that the symbolism of my dad walking me down, kissing my cheek, and letting me take the final steps towards my FI really fits my situation. I am my own person and the path in life that led me to my FI, I walked alone, so the symbolic aisle walk should be made alone too. If anything I'll have FI walk up the aisle, meet me halfway, and we'll walk the rest of the way to the front together, but no one else will have a part in it.
I'm totally not knocking anyone who is having their dad (or anyone) give them away or walk them down or anything. If it makes you happy, go for it! I just sometimes feel like I'm the only "young bride" who is choosing to walk the aisle alone.
Anyone else with me?
I'm 23 also, and I'm having both my parents walk me down the aisle.
I am definitely my own person as well, and my parents are not "giving me away", but are escorting me down the aisle. I see it as a tribute to my parents, because without them I would not be who I am or where I am. It is special to me, but most importantly I know it will be a special honor to them as well. I know neither of them see it as the antiquated notion of giving property away, but rather an acknowledgement and show of gratitude for the roles they have had in my life and my relationship.
I think whatever suits you is what you should do, even if it is a big against the "norm". In my circle, having both parents rather than just my dad walk me is abnormal... but who cares? Do what is important to you and what you feel best fits your situation.
we're Jewish, and traditionally both bride and groom walk down the aisle with both parents. our parents were seated in the front row and the altar was raised a few steps, so my hubby waited down by their seats for me, and then hugged my parents while i hugged his. then we entered the huppah (wedding canopy) together. it felt really moving and symbolic--like we were bringing our families together and then moving in to our new family together (the huppah represents the the new home being created by the marriage). i loved it :) it was pretty traditional, but still meaningful to us
eta: we were 26 and 27 at our wedding
@finnaroo: thats lovely!!
@Sunshining: I feel similarly- I see it as a tribute.
I'm 24 (was 23 when I married) and I had my dad walk me down the aisle.
Like Sunshining, to me it had nothing to do with them "giving me away" or being property or that I wasn't my own strong, independent woman who walks my own path in life and makes my own decisions. It had to do with honoring them and the role that they played in my life, growth and development. Without my parents, I wouldn't be the strong, independent, confident woman that I am.
But to each their own. I take no issue with those who want to walk alone. It just isn't what I wanted.
I'm 28 and will be 29 when I get married. So I guess I'm at the tail end of the 20-somethings...My dad will be walking me down the aisle. I don't have the best relationship with him, but he really wants to and it'd break his heart if I told him otherwise. Honestly, it's not that big of a deal to me and I've never really analyzed the symbolism ("giving away") of having my dad walk me down the aisle. For me, it's really simple. He wants to, it's not a big deal to me, so I'm letting him.
An acquaintance of mine was 20 going on 21 when she got married and she walked down the aisle alone (her dad passed away when she was quite young, so I'm not sure if this was part of the decision). And then there's my Aunt (who was 36 at the time) who had her Mum give her away. When it comes to walking down the aisle, for a lot of brides it feels like tradition. For others, it may be a way to honour their parents, or others, who supported them early in life. And for some, like yourself, it may not feel right at all to have someone give you away, no matter the age. Whatever suits you and who you are!
I'm not sure how much of an "aisle" we'll have, but I'd really like to have both my parents walk me to my FI since they're both a part of my life and I wouldn't be here or who I am without them.
I was 25 when we go tmarried, and I couldn't imagine anyone but my Dad walking me down the aisle. We have always been super close, so it was never a question in my mind that he would do the deed.
I'm not completely decided yet- it'll either be both my mom & stepdad or I'll go it alone.
At 21 I wanted my mom and dad, both, but in the end it will be my dad and I as my grandfather will be accompaning my mom (his daughter)
I will be 24 when we get married and both my dad and step dad are walking me down the aisle. No other arrangement seemed appropriate without hurting anyone's feelings so hoepfully then can get along for the big day!
I'm 25 and my step dad is walking me down the aisle. I don't see it as him "giving me away" (FI and I have lived together, on our own for 6 years), it's more of a respect thing. He's been my father figure for more than 10 years so he's earned the right to walk me down the aisle. Honestly, I think he would have been hurt if I decided to walk alone.
I'm not walking alone but I totally can understand why you would want to walk down the aisle by yourself. Everyone has different relationships with their family/fiance etc so its really whatever feels right to YOU!! I actually cannot stand a lot of wedding traditions because I feel like they are very outdated and sometimes sexist. I would never let someone GIVE me away because this is not the early 1900's and I dont BELONG to anyone. I am having my dad walk me down the aisle but only as a tribute to how close we are. My dad is literally one of my best friends and I have been extrememly close with him my whole life. He is the one that encouraged me to be different anf break the mold and I feel like him walking WITH me down the aisle is just a testament to the strength of our relationship. I did also ask my mom if she wanted to walk down with us but she said she no. She thinks it should be my dad and I since we are so close.
But yeah I thnk if you feel like you should walk down the aisle alone then it is totally up to you. I commend you for not feeling like you have to do what everyone wants you to do!
@napabridekelsey: You took the words right out of my mouth! I'm such a daddy's girl!
I am prefectly comfortable in my own skin and DO NOT feel like I am being sold at the alter. I feel like this is one memory for both my dad and I. I am a grown woman, I pay my own way in this world, my dad hasnt always been my favorite person or always been nice, but he is still my dad. People look far into the symbolism of things than to just see the moment. IMO
By the way I am also 22 will be 23 on my wedding day :)
My dad will be walking me down the aisle.
I will be 22 when I get married
I am prefectly comfortable in my own skin and DO NOT feel like I am being sold at the alter. I feel like this is one memory for both my dad and I. I am a grown woman, I pay my own way in this world, my dad hasnt always been my favorite person or always been nice, but he is still my dad. People look far into the symbolism of things than to just see the moment. IMO
@Captain013: I don't think just because someone wants to walk down the aisle alone they are not comfortable in their own skin which is what your statement implies... Your comment seems kinda snarky which I dont really think is necessary. Also, women have been considered property of men for hundreds of years and I dont think thats looking too far into symbolism.. thats literally what it symbolizes.
@natbug21: OP said she was her own person, which implied that those who choose to have their fathers/parents walk them down the aisle are not. I think that's what Captain was referring to.
It's also important to realize that traditions have evolved with time. Marriage wasn't all roses either, it was taking ownership of the woman and giving power to the man. It seems we pick and choose which traditions to be offended by, though. Many of the meanings that once held are no longer valid, and I doubt 99.9% of fathers in the modern western world see the walk up the aisle as anything other than a special, sentimental moment to share with their daughter.
ETA: I didn't take offense to OP's comment, but I could see the implication.
I am 23, I will be 24 when I get married.
My dad and I dont speak anymore which is sad and Im trying not to think about the fact that he wont be at my wedding. Until i remember that we are speaking for very good reasons...Doesnt stop me wishing it was different though!
Anyway, If my Grandad were alive then i would have him walking me down the aisle, as he was the closest person I had to a father figure.Sadly he is no longer with us.
So my Mum will be walking me down the aisle. She was both mother and father to me so Like PPs I feel as though its my tribute to her, its my way of saying 'Thank You'. Im not her property to 'give away' but I am glad I have her blessing and Im proud that she is walking me down the aisle. 
@Sunshining: Yeah I totally see how someone might be offended by OP saying she was her own person so she didnt need her parents to walk her down the aisle. Understandable!
It just seemed to me from the tone in OP's post was friendly and made sure to include that she wasn't knocking anyone who was choosing to have their dad/parents walk them down the aisle where as Captain013 seemed rude to me.
Thats just me though!
@natbug21: Yes, I believe it may have been a knee-jerk reaction. But I agree that the OP's tone was very amiable and simply curious. No reason for any of us to get worked up in this thread :)
@natbug21: Sorry, I didn't mean for that to be snarkie. L I am just trying to say I am comfortable with who I am as a person and couldn't care less about the history of the ritual. By my dad and my giving me away, its confirmation that they are behind my decision to marry my FI.
I completely understand some people view this as being property, I don't. I have made my own decisions, and couldn't care any less about the archaic language. If I didn’t feel this way maybe I would do what you plan to do. I see where you are coming from though. I think my dad would be very hurt if I told him I was going to walk alone.
Another alternative is to have dad walk you halfway up the aisle, and then you walk ¼ alone and then meet your FI for the last bit. I don’t know what your relationship is with your dad though.
I do see you side of it totally, to each their own :)
@Sunshining: Exactly what I meant to say, thank you!
Going traditional on this one - my daddy will be walking with me.
My mom and older brother will be walking me down the aisle. I haven't spoken to my father in over 10 years.
@Captain013: oh good! :) Sometimes it is so hard to tell what people mean and their tone when you are just reading something instead of actually hearing it. I'm glad no one is trying to be snarky! Sorry if my reply seemed harsh!
@natbug21 and @Sunshining: Definitely just friendly and curious! No harm meant :) It's genuinely something I wondered about.
After reading everyone's responses, I guess I should rephrase what I meant...I don't think many people today see it as being "given away", but rather as having their parents' (or whoever's) support and blessing...and I don't feel the need to have that either, which seems to echo the same sentiment of the 30/40-somethings walking alone. I just wondered if it was an age/place in life thing, or if it was random but the only people posting were those whose situation followed the "norm". I am absolutely not knocking anyone's decisions at all; in fact, I kind of wish I didn't feel this way about being walked down because I am terrified of that walk all alone with 100+ pairs of eyes on me!
My dad recently passed, but we weren't really close to begin with. At this point, FI and I are thinking we'll walk down together. Our church actually recommended this.
I'm undecided, but I may very well walk alone. My dad doesn't have any attachment to walking me down, and anyway I would feel sort of like it excluded my step-dad. So unless my mom really, really wants to, I'll probably do it myself!
Sort of like what you're saying, I am a very independent person and though my parents have been a huge source of support in my life, there's no particular reason that they would be involved in that part of the ceremony. I actually think my FI, being a little more traditionally-minded/raised, was probably the only one who assumed my dad would walk me down. And my dad, when I mentioned this to him, said something about "Aisle? What aisle, who says you have to have an aisle?!" Oh, my hippie dad. (And I'll be 26 at the time, first wedding for me, etc.)
But I do think it might be an age thing. Though a lot of us have more or less rejected the "being given away" thing, I do feel like there's less of a sense of "I'm my own woman, no one needs to walk down with me" for those of us in our 20s. Interesting.
I was 22, just shy of 23 (by 12 days) at the wedding. My brother walked me down the aisle. My father and I have had a rocky relationship that's been good on and off over the years but my brother has always been my best friend. I am so glad I made that decision because he kept me so much calmer and more stress free than I would have been otherwise. I let my parents say they were giving me away even though I didn't feel I was theirs to give anymore. I knew they were really upset about my decision to walk with my brother so it hopefully eased that feeling a little bit.
@Kant: I am my own person and the path in life that led me to my FI, I walked alone, so the symbolic aisle walk should be made alone too. If anything I'll have FI walk up the aisle, meet me halfway, and we'll walk the rest of the way to the front together, but no one else will have a part in it.
That is exactly how I felt about it, and DH agreed, so that's how we did our aisle walk. I felt the symbolism of us walking towards each other, meeting in the middle of the aisle, and continuing to the altar together was much more reflective of us than if my father had walked me down. I was 27 years old and didn't see the point in being on anyone's arm but DH's.
My dad will be walking me down the aisle. He raised me by himself and I feel like it will be a special time for us.
A friend of mine walked by herself though. At the time she wasn't speaking to her father (he cheated on her mother) and he wasn't even invited to the wedding. She chose to walk alone rather than have her older brother walk her down. She was I think 21 at the time.
I'll be 26 when I get married next year, and I will most certainly be walking/dancing/strutting down the aisle by myself. I realize that for a lot of women, having their father/mother/parents give them away is an emotional and important part of their wedding day, and even though I'm close to both sets of my parents - it's just not for me, and not something I would feel comfortable with.
I'm 31, but I'm taking the liberty to chime in here anyway. :)
Both my parents are going to walk me in. There will be no giving away (I find that custom incredibly retrograde), but they've been important figures in my life and I know it will make them both happy to be involved in the wedding.
My Father walked me down the aisle when all was said and done. When this topic came up while planning...I felt split. In the end I left it up to my father. If he cared enough to do it, he could and if he didn't; no sweat...
My Plan B would have been a tradition that stems from my Fiance's (now Husband) ethnic background. Which is The Groom on one side of the pew and The Bride on the other ...as the ceremony begins they meet in the middle and walk down the aisle together.
Simple.
As for me I'm 28, theres no reason why I'd want to complicate my life and my future husbands with not being flexible. Hahaha. In the end no one was alienated-divided or humiliated with that decision and it worked out great for us!
This issue had some drama for me too. I know I've posted about it here before but basically, since my parents don't get along at all and my mom was ready to throw a snit unless she could walk me down too (hello, dysfunction junction), plus the symbolism that I had a hard time getting past, I chose to do no parents. It's little-known but the preferred entrance for Catholic couples (post Vatican II) is actually of bride and groom walking down together. So that's what we did. It was awesome and people later said it really reflected us as a couple. Oh, I'm 27.
@Kant: "After reading everyone's responses, I guess I should rephrase what I meant...I don't think many people today see it as being "given away", but rather as having their parents' (or whoever's) support and blessing...and I don't feel the need to have that either, which seems to echo the same sentiment of the 30/40-somethings walking alone."
I was 26 when I got married and yes had both my parents walked me down the aisle. But i didn't view it as having their support and blessing either. It was just more a walk in so everyone knows these are the brides parents, since my inlaws got their own walk in.
i don't think its really an age thing, it just all comes down to preference and what the walk-in signifies to each person.
I had my Dad walk me down the aisle. I chose to do this because I love my father and wanted to honor him with this tradition. For me I chose to look past where the tradition started (ownership of the bride) and instead valued it for my own purposes; honoring someone I love with something I knew would mean a lot to him.
I definitely understand why people choose to omit this for ethical or other reasons, but it didn't seem like a big deal to me. I was 27 at the time and consider myself fairly liberal.
I will be 27 at the wedding, and I am walking the aisle alone. My father left when I was 16, and after years of trying to be a part of his life, I gave up about 4 years ago. We're having an outdoor ceremony and I'm having my 22 year-old brother walk me right up to the end of the aisle so that I've got someone to walk with for the long part (pacing, keeping me from crying, etc.), and then I'm walking the aisle alone. It works for me. I was adamant about not having anyone walk me, but after going to the site numerous times, it's just too far of a walk to not have someone there with me. Plus I love my brother, and this is a good way to spend time with him before the ceremony.
My sister had her FFIL walk her down the aisle a few years ago and it caused a huge dramafest with my mother, who claimed that my brother should have been the one, not someone else's dad...but my sister said her FFIL was more of a father to her than anyone, so that was that.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 94 |
| ndreighton | 77 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 56 |
| beargoose | 55 |
| Mrs.KMM | 46 |
| akp0702 | 42 |
| BetterSherm | 42 |
| MrsBlueSeptember | 41 |
| MrsPom | 37 |
| Beckster329 | 37 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| candykiss | 2 |
| TheLionQueen | 1 |
| Mrs.Lonestar | 1 |
| les105 | 1 |
| missbumblebee | 1 |
 kkish3 |
1 |
| Christiana2013 | 1 |
| ECJ4ever | 1 |
| Elizabethorsi |
1 |
| strawbs | 1 |
