(Closed) Twin weddings and money troubles

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
8464 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Just stay true to yourself and your FI.  It doesn’t matter that your sibling is have a “bigger” wedding than you.  If you keep your own twist and style on everything, people won’t be able to compare the two because your wedding will be unique to you.  Good luck and I wish you all the best with everything!

Post # 4
Member
9229 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I think what most people take away from the wedding is the feel and vibe of it.  If you guys have been together for 6 years, you obviously love each other very much and probably have tons of friends who love you as a couple.  That will be evident and that’s the most important thing!  It’s a constant battle to let go of sibling rivalry but it sounds like you’re approaching it very maturely.  good luck! xox

Post # 5
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Hey.

I’m in a similar situation with my brother and his fiancee.

Me and my boyfriend had been saying for a long time that we want to get married in 2014. We hadn’t formally gotten engaged (i.e. no ring etc..) so noone took us too seriously. We haven’t a lot of spare money and would rather use ring money towards the wedding. We have a lot to consider logistically – I’m British, my SO is Canadian and we want a UK wedding with a big Canadian party/reception. So to get the timing of it right we are starting our planning now. In addition my other brother lives in Australia with his wife and child and needs the time to save up to come to two weddings (hence planning now). I have 3 brothers in total, and the rule of thumb has been leave two years between weddings so we can all save up again for the traveling. So one got married 2010, one got married 2012, leaving me and the last brother to fight it out for 2014. If we don’t get 2014 we may have to wait till 2016 (2015 at the earliest) to get married. I don’t want to do this, we’ve been together twice as long as my brother and his gf, I’ll be nearlly 30 by the time we’re wed and we’re ready to start planning now!

Anyways, in June my brother popped the question to his girlfried, gave her a ring and claimed 2014 to be their year. However, they are point-blank refusing to start even thinking about planning their big day until 2013. 

This leaves me and my fiancee in a sticky situation. We’ve been giving the go ahead to make our arrangements but I can see problems arising next year when my brother starts planning things. Currently my brother in Australia says he’ll come to both weddings even if they’re in the same year, but his wife and daughter may only be able to come to one. It’s early days but I’ll keep you posted on my family arguments as they begin! haha

Don’t worry though, I’m sure things will sort themselves out 🙂 

Post # 6
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Han1985:  You know if you’re ready to start planning now you could just get married in 2013. it doesn’t take 2 years to plan a wedding.

Post # 8
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@arendiva:  Actually we did seriously consider it. But it’s just wouldn’t be good timing for us – I have just started the final year of my PhD and really want to graduate next summer. The next 8 months are going to be the craziest months of my life. Trying to finish up all my experiments (which is no mean feat!) and to write up and defend by summer next year whilst planning a wedding just isn’t something I think I could manage to do. Also, with getting married in the UK, my FI needs a special visa which doesn’t take long to get, but it’s still an extra thing we have to do.  

I suggested to my brother that he gets married in 2013 since they only want a year to plan but he doesn’t want to either. So I suggested we get married a couple of weeks apart in 2014 so as my brother and wife in Australia only has to make the trip once with their toddler but he doesn’t really like that idea too much either – however, he has said that I should book my date first and they’ll figure it out from there so that’s how we’re approching it right now and the wheels are already in motion…

We’ll figure it all out anways, right now we’ve reached some kind of understanding and if things get awkward I’ve told my bro that his happiness is the most important thing to me and I’ll work around him but he’s given me his blessing to start planning. 

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