(Closed) TWO babies and a wedding? Oh my! … MAJOR crisis!!

posted 5 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: What do I do?
    Keep the scheduled wedding date AND bridal shower date. Hope they can attend. : (11 votes)
    55 %
    Move JUST the shower date so that SIL can attend. : (6 votes)
    30 %
    I have another idea.. : (2 votes)
    10 %
    Move the wedding AND the shower so both can attend. : (1 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4046 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If you really want your sister there, perhaps move the date up. Athough that is still not a guarantee, she may have the baby early, be on bed rest, or not be able to attend for many other baby related reasons.

    I definitely think you coild bring a baby to a bridal shower. Unless its at a bar or something, most bridal showers are laid back, sit around and chat type events. So most likely that would be fine (if she is okay with taking a newborn with her).

    Post # 4
    Member
    2287 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    Definitely move the date up if you can (vendors and venue) so that your sister can attend. And your friend should be able to bring the baby to the birdal shower as long as it’s a laid back affair.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    If you can move the wedding date at this point, I would.

    I would not worry about SIL and the shower.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @OnceUponATime:  I’m not sure I can help on that. I don’t really have the same feelings about holding certain dates as very important. It’s not even the actual same date.

    I guess you just have to ask yourself if having your sister at the wedding is more important than having it on that particular date.

    The other thing to keep in mind is even if you move it, she could go into labor early or have other complications that make it so she can’t be there. Her being 36 – 37 weeks at your wedding is certainly a better chance that she’ll make it, but plenty of women go on bedrest or into labor early.

    Two of my bridesmaids got pregnant within 2 weeks of me picking my date (8 months out). They would be between 34 – 36 weeks pregnant at the wedding. So it’s not like I can’t relate. It’s just that you can’t control everything that happens and have to just make the best decision with the realistic situation.

    The reality is that ANYONE could get hurt or not be able to attend on any given date. A parent could pass away, a groomsman could get very sick, etc. You kind of just have to pick what you think gives you the best odds and make peace with the fact that life happens, even in the midst of wedding planning.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7904 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    Your wedding date will mean a lot to you because it will be the day you got married, and honestly, if it’s the same day (or almost) as these other events, it will overshadow those days. If you move your wedding, you get two special days to remember, your dating/engagement anniversary and your wedding anniversary.

    You sister will almost definitely be unable to come to your wedding. Most first babies are late, at about 41w1d, so she’d be on labor watch and possibly very anxious and unformfortable on your wedding date. If she has had the baby, it’ll have just happened. She may still be in the hospital. Your family will be distracted between the child and your wedding.

    A newborn can be out of the home, but exposure to people should be kept at a minimum until the baby has had more vaccinations. Your BM should be able to go to your shower if she is on time, but she may not want to. Right now, she may think it won’t be a problem, but she doesn’t really have a frame of reference yet (unless she’s already a mom) to understand how she’ll feel. A good option would be for daddy to bring the baby by during present time so she can step out for 20 minutes to nurse and then return to the party.

    Also, your MoH can definitely plan your shower while 7/8 months pregnant as long as she isn’t on bed rest or at high risk for preterm labor.

    Throw her baby shower about 2 months before her due date so that she’s nice and big but not uncomfy yet. It’s jsut a few hours. It won’t be that distracting from your wedding. Most of the high intensity wedding planning you’ll go through will be in the weeks immediately before the wedding. At two months out form your wedding (and her due date), you’re just scheduling your first dress fitting… that’s pretty much it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2287 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    @OnceUponATime:  babies are supposed to be kept home for the first few weeks. If you want her there you may have to move the date. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    11753 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’d move the wedding date but keep the shower date personally.  I had 2 showers, and my SIL and even my sister didn’t attend one of them, along with some bridesmaids.  It wasn’t a big deal.  It would be a big deal if my sister could not attend my wedding though.

    Post # 12
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    What about pushing the date back? To October/November? That way she will already have had the baby and you wont have to worry about bed rest/early delivery.

    Post # 13
    Member
    866 posts
    Busy bee

    I feel your pain my sister is due Aug 25th and my wedding is Aug 31st, also another bridesmaid is due Sept 2nd! They both swear they will be there and in the wedding but is that really possible?

    I don’t know what to say about changing the date, i struggled with that too but eventually decided to keep it as is.

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