Post # 1
If you saw my earlier post, my big sister/MOH is having her first baby this year! I’m SO thriled for her!
Unforunately, my excitement is dwindling as I’m quickly realizing that with her due date Sept 3 and my wedding Sept 7, it’s very likely she will not be in attendance. She’ll either be very-veryyyy pregnant or nursing a teeny-tiny newborn.
Should I move the wedding to the beginning of August to ensure her attendance? If I had picked the day at random I would move it in a heartbeat, but the day is very special: FI and I started dating on Sept. 5, 2006 and got engaged on Sept. 5, 2011. Sept.7, 2013 is the perfect wedding day for us! But this is my big sister.. how do I get married without my MOH??
Oh but wait.. there’s more!
One of my BMs who is also my SIL is having a baby as well! She is due on June 22. My bridal shower is already booked for July 7. Again, she likely won’t be in attendance. Nursing a tiny newborn or very very pregnant!
Should I move the bridal shower to the end of July? Can she can bring a month old baby with her, or can she leave the baby with daddy for a few hours? (I’m guessing no since she will be breast-feeding) I’m not too familiar with baby developmental processes.
Oh, and can a woman who is 7-8mo pregnant handling throwing a bridal shower?
This year was supposed to be exciting and fun.. now I’m just overwhelmed.
P.S. I also have to throw her baby shower. How do I fit that in there too????
Post # 3
If you really want your sister there, perhaps move the date up. Athough that is still not a guarantee, she may have the baby early, be on bed rest, or not be able to attend for many other baby related reasons.
I definitely think you coild bring a baby to a bridal shower. Unless its at a bar or something, most bridal showers are laid back, sit around and chat type events. So most likely that would be fine (if she is okay with taking a newborn with her).
Post # 4
Definitely move the date up if you can (vendors and venue) so that your sister can attend. And your friend should be able to bring the baby to the birdal shower as long as it’s a laid back affair.
Post # 5
If you can move the wedding date at this point, I would.
I would not worry about SIL and the shower.
Post # 6
@michiru4ever: @kerensa: The shower is a sort of fancy event (think wine, appetizers, and cocktail dresses). Does that change it since it isn’t so laid back? Also, the baby may be just days old. Can a baby even leave the house yet?
I’m nervous if I change a date that means so much to me, I’ll resent her for TTC when she knew what her due date would be. :/ I don’t want to do that. How do I get over it?
Post # 7
@OnceUponATime: I’m not sure I can help on that. I don’t really have the same feelings about holding certain dates as very important. It’s not even the actual same date.
I guess you just have to ask yourself if having your sister at the wedding is more important than having it on that particular date.
The other thing to keep in mind is even if you move it, she could go into labor early or have other complications that make it so she can’t be there. Her being 36 – 37 weeks at your wedding is certainly a better chance that she’ll make it, but plenty of women go on bedrest or into labor early.
Two of my bridesmaids got pregnant within 2 weeks of me picking my date (8 months out). They would be between 34 – 36 weeks pregnant at the wedding. So it’s not like I can’t relate. It’s just that you can’t control everything that happens and have to just make the best decision with the realistic situation.
The reality is that ANYONE could get hurt or not be able to attend on any given date. A parent could pass away, a groomsman could get very sick, etc. You kind of just have to pick what you think gives you the best odds and make peace with the fact that life happens, even in the midst of wedding planning.
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Your wedding date will mean a lot to you because it will be the day you got married, and honestly, if it’s the same day (or almost) as these other events, it will overshadow those days. If you move your wedding, you get two special days to remember, your dating/engagement anniversary and your wedding anniversary.
You sister will almost definitely be unable to come to your wedding. Most first babies are late, at about 41w1d, so she’d be on labor watch and possibly very anxious and unformfortable on your wedding date. If she has had the baby, it’ll have just happened. She may still be in the hospital. Your family will be distracted between the child and your wedding.
A newborn can be out of the home, but exposure to people should be kept at a minimum until the baby has had more vaccinations. Your BM should be able to go to your shower if she is on time, but she may not want to. Right now, she may think it won’t be a problem, but she doesn’t really have a frame of reference yet (unless she’s already a mom) to understand how she’ll feel. A good option would be for daddy to bring the baby by during present time so she can step out for 20 minutes to nurse and then return to the party.
Also, your MoH can definitely plan your shower while 7/8 months pregnant as long as she isn’t on bed rest or at high risk for preterm labor.
Throw her baby shower about 2 months before her due date so that she’s nice and big but not uncomfy yet. It’s jsut a few hours. It won’t be that distracting from your wedding. Most of the high intensity wedding planning you’ll go through will be in the weeks immediately before the wedding. At two months out form your wedding (and her due date), you’re just scheduling your first dress fitting… that’s pretty much it.
Post # 9
@OnceUponATime: babies are supposed to be kept home for the first few weeks. If you want her there you may have to move the date.
Post # 10
@NAvery: You’re absolutely right. She could go early or be on bedrest or just too darn tired. It means a lot to try though.
@mrsSonthebeach: Your comment gave me the biggest smile! You brought so much light to something that has been making me miserable. I never thought of it being a good thing. I just kept thinking that it takes away from how special that day is to us, but we would be celebrating our wedding day, not just the day we starting dating. I want to give her the chance to be there.
As for my SIL, this will be her second child, so she should have an idea of what she would like. I think I will talk to her about it. We could move the wedding to Aug 3, my shower to June 8, and put my sister’s shower on July 7. That could work. (If my head would stop spinning, lol)
Post # 11
I’d move the wedding date but keep the shower date personally. I had 2 showers, and my SIL and even my sister didn’t attend one of them, along with some bridesmaids. It wasn’t a big deal. It would be a big deal if my sister could not attend my wedding though.
Post # 12
What about pushing the date back? To October/November? That way she will already have had the baby and you wont have to worry about bed rest/early delivery.
Post # 13
I feel your pain my sister is due Aug 25th and my wedding is Aug 31st, also another bridesmaid is due Sept 2nd! They both swear they will be there and in the wedding but is that really possible?
I don’t know what to say about changing the date, i struggled with that too but eventually decided to keep it as is.