- 5 years ago
My SO and I have been together going on 2 1/2 years (come Feb). I love him to pieces, and can definitely see him as my future hubby and a great father to our kids someday. He is 32 and I recently turned 27. After our 2yr mark I began to get that itch, but figured the engagement would come naturally as it should, but with some men they need a little nudge/push to get the ball rolling. Not to mention we just moved in together 5 months ago and things couldn’t be better. This is when I figured we should have the “timeline talk” to ensure we were on the same page. Needless to say, Oct of last year HE OPTED that we both go ring shopping…YES, his idea…so I was stoked and just knew it was coming anytime in 2012…so here’s where the breakdown happened…
We had previously spoken of a timeline but it was a very vague and general conversation and he gave very general answers which to me was unacceptable. Thats when I joined the shup-it-up pact and broke it 2 weeks after. The other night I asked him for a reasonable concrete timeline and that with a definite timeline I’d leave him alone. The answer I was hoping for was within the next 6 months (no really I was hoping for Christmas of this year lol). Bees when he said “ehhh I say within the next year we’ll be ready” meaning 2013, I fell apart. I went in a rampage yelling if we aren’t engaged within 6 months which means we would be hitting 3 years that I was leaving. I went through every spill there was from, I must not be “the one”, he’s not fair for making me wait and all of the above. I was a mess. I couldn’t stop myself from crying. B/c he hates seeing me that way, he called my mom to have her call me to calm me down. After talking with her she brought me to reality. Telling me, ‘this man loves you, he shares how much he loves you with me and your dad all the time…and if he’s telling you he’s not ready RIGHT NOW, respect his decision…he already said he loves you and he can’t loose you, but give him that time…maybe he wants to make it special…yaddy yaddy ya’.
He eventually came upstairs to console me and continued to tell me a year was not a long time (but men dont’ understand, in our shoes it feels like eternity). By the end of the night I calmed myself down and realized I was with a man I truly loved and who loves all of me and that waiting until sometime in 2013 to be engaged that I would be okay. It just doesn’t help when everyone around you is getting married and engaged and it’s not you. But I know when it’s my time then it’ll be MY TIME. Now I will officially be shutting-it-up and just enjoying our relationship for what it is, b/c after the other night HE HAS TO KNOW how serious this is to me and for us.
Just figured my story would help relate to some other Bees and any sound advise to keep me sane would be great…:). Thanks for taking the time to share my break down 🙂