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Personally I like the idea of colored shoes (Even though I got white for myself). I think you have a good idea though... that way you and your mom both get what you want. :)
I think that’s a great compromise. Saying that I would maybe not tell her just in case she doesn’t see it the same way ;)
Thanks mishelleez and blissfullyclueless - I'm glad you think my idea will work out!
It might help to show her some pictures of brides with colored shoes so she can see how common it is. My mom was very traditional in weding planning, and I pushed as far as I could. In the end, she was saying things like "Oh, I just didn't understand what you meant." Or "I just never saw that before."
But she liked the ideas once she saw them in person.
I love the red shoes!!
I would go with the red...they're way cuter! = D And it will be nice to have that pop of color!
@ heathaah - Lucky you that pictures swayed your mom's opinion! I tried showing my mom pictures from one of my best friend's weddings as well as some from my photographer's blog. She still doesn't like the idea.
Definitely go with the red shoes. They're way cuter and way more fun. Just because your parents are paying for the wedding doesn't mean they get to dictate EVERYTHING. That sounds really controlling to me. I mean, what you wear is as personal a decision as it gets. if it were me i would just wear what i want no matter my mom's opinion, (especially on something as harmless as shoes).
i'm wearing ivory shoes for the ceremony and then switching to brown for the rest of the evening. i like a little bit of tradition and then a little "new"
Yea my mom was almost the same way, theyve just been out of the wedding "business" for so long they don't realize what everyone does now! My mom didn't even know what a save the date is or that people don't wear veils anymore. At first she was skeptical but now she loves all the ideas! I would involve her in your inspiration :)
I would sit down and talk with your mom about it, I understand its her dime but its your wedding. I would just let her know you really want red shoes. If that doesnt work then I would go with the red during the reception and the white for the ceremony and just kinda keep it a surprise. You have to have a part of you shine in the wedding. Good luck girly!
haha, my mom was the same way, in thinking that any other color than white or ivory would be completely unnacceptable. I really want to wear blue shoes to match the bridesmaid dresses, but when I mentioned it to my mom, she was horrified. I am on the fence as whether or not you should tell her. It might be better to keep quiet about it until the big day, since that will prevent her from thinking about it and getting worked up. And hopefully when you are actually in the moment, she will see how happy they make you and get on board with it.
I got around this because my mom is paying for our wedding too. She said no because she wouldn't buy colored shoes. So, I bought them outta of my own pocket and now she can't say anything about it. When she brings it up I say "You didn't pay for them, so you really have nothing to be upset about." Thought I'm trying to dye them dark purple and they just aren't coming out right. :-/
The red shoes are cute and would be nice for the reception. As to whether or not to tell your mom in advance, I would say it depends on how she is. Some moms if not told in advance would be happier- once the reception is going and you're wearing them, not much she can do about it and let it go. Other moms might be better knowing in advance so they have time to get used to the idea o they aren't upset at the wedding.
If not telling her would "ruin" the reception for her, I would tell her in advance. Otherwise, I'd let it be a surprise.
Agree with above. I LOVE your red shoes and think that you should wear the white for the formal wedding part, and then have some fun with the red during the reception. I think once she saw you were so happy in the red, and had such a great time, she would be happy and liken to the idea of colored shoes.
Agree, that if your mom is going to be totally bummed about not knowing, you should prep her, and tell her why you really want it, and show her all these posts, and bridal pics of colored shoes. It's just the in thing.
MAYBE IT'S JUST ME BUT I WOULD NOT EXPLAIN A THING TO HER!! You are a grown woman!!!!! PERIOD! you are about to get married...come on...mommy no longer gets to pick out your outfits!!! i'm sorry but that is just way too controlling for me. who's wedding is it any way? she had her turn already!!
Ah, I'm SO GLAD I'm not in touch with my mom ;) I couldn't put up with that much pressure!!
I love the red ones. A good compromise would be to wear the red shoes for everything but the ceremony, but have the white ones on for that?
Just wear the red ones and don't tell mom! She'll probably see them in the reception and then in the happiness of the moment find them quiet charming. I had three dresses and didn't tell ANYONE about the third one until the day after the wedding, as my mom and MIL were alreay shocked I bought a second dress. After the wedding MIL and SIL were asking me "wasn't your second dress supposed to be champagne colored, how come you wore two white dresses" and I was like "um, yeah, surprise!". After the fact people are so happy noone cares, all they keep talking about is how wonderful the wedding was.
I'm wearing my ivory shoes for the ceremony, and changing into my blue shoes for pics/reception, that way I can wear both pairs. I think that's an excellent idea. I wouldn't tell her, either.
My mom vetoed a lot of my non-traditional wedding ideas (photobooth, non-matching bridesmaid dresses, red velvet wedding cake, etc) but afterward was happy with how everything turned out. Wear your red shoes at least to the reception.
People gave me the same comments when I bought my wedding shoes - some people will be horrified, others will know that it's totally you... and at the end of the day, the day is about you and your hubby, so do what you want!!!
shoes.jpg (24.6 KB, 39 downloads) 1 year old 
I like the red shoes...I agree with other posts...go with the white for wedding and some pics but get some of the fun/candid pics with the red shoes and definatly wear them at the reception! May as well have some fun with them.
I love the red shoes!!! I understand that this is difficult b/c your mom is paying and I think that does give her certain rights, but I agree with whomever said that you could show her photos of how much more common colors are now. I can see her having rights on how expensive invites are, where its held and who is invited, but I think she should let you pick your own clothes!!! I'm having shoes dyed the same shade of blue as the BM dresses and my mom thinks I'm nuts, but our parents aren't paying a dime and I'm too old to care.
I love the red shoes!!! I understand that this is difficult b/c your mom is paying and I think that does give her certain rights, but I agree with whomever said that you could show her photos of how much more common colors are now. I can see her having rights on how expensive invites are, where its held and who is invited, but I think she should let you pick your own clothes!!! I'm having shoes dyed the same shade of blue as the BM dresses and my mom thinks I'm nuts, but our parents aren't paying a dime and I'm too old to care.
has your mom seen pictures of weddings with colored shoes?
my mom thought the idea was weird, but had to admit after seeing some pictures it was acutally not bad at all... maybe show her some?
Personally I think that even though your mom is paying, it's YOUR wedding and if you have something you really want (within reason) then go for it. Good luck!!
Personally, I'd just go with the red. I'm a red shoe bride all the way! Red is my favorite color so I always knew I wanted red shoes. If you're concerned about making your Mom happy though, you could wear the white shoes for the wedding and red to the reception as a compromise. It's probably best to let her in on your plans though so she doesn't get hurt or upset at the reception when she finds out.
At first, my mom was also not sold on the idea of colored shoes, but once I brought a bunch of colored shoes to her house to get her opinion, she realized there was no other option. :) Now she loves this idea. I'm sorry to hear that your mom was not budging. What did you end up doing?
I agree with some of the PP who said that it might be her money, but it's YOUR WEDDING! Especially when it comes to what you're wearing, she should have no say. Do what makes you happy. But, I voted for wear white to the ceremony and then red to the reception. Personally I bought blue shoes and I love them, so I'm wearing them, end of story. But, if you want to compromise, that sounds like a good one. And I wouldn't tell mom till she sees them. What she doesn't know, won't hurt her. =)
Well, I'm in just about the exact the same position. My mom is completely against the colored shoe thing, too... she basically told me I was insane to even consider it. I have white shoes for the ceremony and orange sparkly shoes for the reception. I can't decide whether to tell my mom before hand or not, either. lol. I'm leaning toward just showing up at the reception in them. =) If I do that, though, I will feel bad and it might hurt her feelings, since I don't usually keep things from her. So we'll see.
My mom is the same way! Although it;s so funny because she's been great about everything else, like oh you guys aren't doing the garter and bouquet toss? That's fine, I don't like those too much anyway. You hired a Beatles cover band for the reception? Well, that sounds like fun! But then...you're going to wear COLORED shoes?! Your shoes are supposed to be white! Really, mom?
I'm just wearing colored shoes anyways. She's got four months to egt used to the idea, I'm sure she'll get over it, my feet really shouldn't be her main priority anyways.
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Beekeeper
So I made a rash purchase the other day but I'm so excited about it now!
So I wanted to wear bright red shoes with my wedding dress. I LOVE red and it is our main wedding color; I just thought it would be really fun. Well my mom is very traditional when it comes to weddings (and she and my dad are paying for most of it so she gets to have these opinions) and she immeadiatly vetoed the idea of colored shoes and said I had to wear white (she also had basically told me that she hates ivory/cream/light gold/etc dresses - its a good thing I already knew I wanted white there).
So I found a pair of white shoes that I really like and am perfectly happy to wear for my wedding.
But the thought of those colored shoes still stuck with me. I read all the posts here on wedding bee about people's colored shoes, I see pictures from my photographer .... I couldn't forget how I wanted my bright red shoes. So I bought some and I LOVE them!
I think I'll wear the white shoes for the first look pictures and the ceremony (that will make my mom happy) and then change into the red shoes for the post-ceremony pictures and the reception (not sure what mom will think about that - maybe I just don't tell her and just do it
).
What do you think Bees? Will this work? Should I go for it (and should I tell my mom my plan)?
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