Post # 1
Hello beautiful bees!
It’s been a while, but I don’t know where else to turn! I’m hoping some of you can help a bride out.
I have three bridesmaids: my oldest sister, my middle sister, and my best friend from high school. I asked my oldest sister to be my matron of honor and my best friend to be my maid of honor, as my middle sister and I were on pretty terrible terms when I got engaged. Soon afterwards, my best friend scheduled her wedding for a month prior to mine. Now I’m in a bit of a pickle…
1. My mother, who originally supported by Maid/Matron of Honor decisions, is now saying that this was a terrible idea. While I agree that this wasn’t the most PC move, I was backed into a corner…
2. My maid of honor scheduled her wedding a month before mine (this was after I had asked her and already set the date for my own.) So, that will make her my second Matron of Honor. This seems weird to me… She’s also pretty busy doing her own wedding, and I’m hearing conflicting reports from my oldest sister that she’s not really involved in planning.
3. My middle sister and I have gotten closer over the past year, and I genuinely feel bad for leaving her out. I want her to feel involved, but I feel a bit trapped.
So, bees, what should I do? Is having two matron of honors tacky (even if it was accidental)? Do I call her my maid of honor anyway, even though she’ll be married?
Post # 2
If your friend is married by the time of your wedding it’s not by accident, rather she’s become a matron of honor by definition. But really, IMO it doesn’t matter what you call them. Personally, I think you ought to call them all bridesmaids or co-maid/matrons of honor and honor them each in different ways. One can help with the veil, one can stand next to you etc.
Post # 3
I agree with above poster. Doesn’t matter what you call them, a Maid/Matron of Honor is a Maid/Matron of Honor. Same thing happened to me. I originally had a Matron of Honor and a Maid of Honor. Maid of Honor just got married, so now I have two Matrons. Doesn’t change anything, and I still love having both of them! Maid/Matron was less active than other Matron because of her own wedding, but show her 110% support and keep her wine glass full, and she’ll come back with the same for yours!
Post # 4
- Wedding: April 2015 - Family Farm
Oh just have two matrons and call your middle sister the maid of honor. Everyone likes having a title. 🙂
Post # 5
I was thinking about doing something along these lines, but I worried about it looking weird that I have three Maid/Matron of Honor. For example, on the ceremony handouts, would I have:
Oldest Sister: Co-Matron of Honor
Friend: Co-Matron of Honor
Sister: Maid of Honor
Does this seem tacky, or like a good compromise?
Post # 6
beaverbride: I’d go for it. It’s like saying “My sisters/friend are so important to me that they are ALL of honor”
Post # 7
Maid of honor and matron of honor are the same thing, the difference in title only refers to if the person is married or not. If you were ok having a matron of honor and a maid of honor I don’t really see what the difference is now having 2 matrons of honor.
Post # 8
Doesn’t matter if you have 2 matrons of honor. If you’re worried about the other sister feeling left out, then give them all the title and list them as “Matron of Honor, Matron of Honor, and Maid of Honor” . I wouldn’t bother with the “co-” part.
Post # 9
I might be having all of my sisters be Maid/Matron of Honor bc I can’t pick one over the other. I see nothing wrong with that. It is just a title. Though, to one of my sisters, she wants to be a Maid/Matron of Honor so she can seem special, which is pathetic and selfish.
Whatever you choose, it is your choice and your wedding!! You might have to hurt some feelings but oh well. This is your one day and people should be understanding if they are really your friend. No matter what your title is, just standing up in the wedding just be enough.
Post # 10
beaverbride: I’d forget the “Co-“.. kind of reminds me of sports co-captains in high school.
I had 2 Matrons of Honor, I didn’t think it was weird at all. As PP have said, the only difference between Maid and Matron is marriage.
Post # 11
beaverbride: I guess I’m seeing this differently.
– Before the bee, I’d never heard of people specifically wanting a Matron of Honor and a Maid of honor. I always thought you just chose one person to be your Person of Honor and the designation of Maid/Matron was due to their present status.
– You chose to have two People of Honor and one Bridesmaid
– Nothing has changed, you still have two People of Honor and one Bridesmaid
Deal with it.
Post # 12
Agree with other bees, lose the “co.” They are all special!! 😀
Post # 13
Oops, I didn’t actually mean that you should use the term “co-matron of honor,” just that that’s what they would essentially be. Definitely lose the “co” in terms of programs and official titles.
Post # 14
call them all ladies of honor, done. the guys are best men.
Post # 15
I’m with most other posters – it’s fine to have two Matrons of Honor. Or two matrons and a maid. I like the idea of giving them all the same status to show they’re all special. Personally I think it’s better to call them all bridesmaids, but all matrons/maids of honor is ok too.
As for her wedding date – a month before is plenty of time. She has done nothing wrong. If she was a sister it would be awkward (because many relatives would have to travel for both), but there’s nothing wrong with friends marrying a month apart. There isn’t (or at least shouldn’t) be a lot for her do, except maybe help with the bachelorette party, so I’m not sure what you mean by saying “she’s not really involved in planning”.