Post # 1
My fiance and I originally wanted our wedding to be officiated by a friend to give our ceremony a personal touch. The problem is we are getting married in a state that doesn’t recognize marriages performed by online ordained ministers, so we will need to bring in a Justice of the Peace to make the marriage legal. I am in touch with a Justice of the Peace who is willing to work with us to incorporate the friend into the ceremony, but she has never done anything like this before.
Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions for having two officiants, one who is an expericienced official, and one who is a friend who hasn’t done any weddings previously? I have seen posts where two ministers, or a minister and a priest, etc co-officiate the wedding, but none where one of them is an unexperienced friend. Is there a logical way to split the ceremony between the two so the ceremony doesn’t seem awkward?
thanks for any advice!
Post # 3
Nick Lachey and what’s her name’s TLC show on their wedding, check that one out – I know they had 2 officiants (his dad and then a legal one).
What state are you in? Any chance they have something through the state/county, like a deputy for a day program? That’s what we did, but we’re in California.
Post # 4
Our plan right now is just go to the courthouse and get married the day before, and then have a friend do the ceremony. 🙂
Post # 5
@johanna42: The way I would do it is –
- Friend – says Intro (the welcome to the guests)
- Officiant – says Charge to the couple (the part about what marriage is all about)
- Officiant – says vows with couple
- Friend – does ring vows with couple
- Couple does any acts of celebration (rose exchange, sand, unity candle)
- Officiant – says does pronouncement (saying couple has exchanged promises and that the officant declares they are married and give permission to kiss)
- Friend – says Intro of the married couple ( I would like to introduce for the first time Mr. & Mrs. _____________.)
That is the way that I personally would do the ceremony.
Post # 6
We want to do this but it’s still in pre planning. I think we will have our friends say a couple of words instead of acting like he’s co-officiating, but that’s cause he’s not a stage person and he might get nervious .
@RevMic: I love the way you planned it, specially how the friend introduces you as a married couple.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
I was also going to suggest that you get legally married the day before or the morning of, and the have your friend do the ceremony on his/her own. No one else would know the difference, and the only thing that your friend wouldn’t do is sign the license, which he/she wouldn’t do anyway.
Post # 8
Thanks for the suggestions! We have talked about getting married at a courthouse the day before and might do it that way, but I would prefer for the ceremony at our wedding to also be legal.
@RevMik, I love your breakdown of the ceremony! That seems like it could work really well. My only concern is if all the transitions between offiant and friend would seem clumsy or leave a lot of dead air time. But otherwise it seems like the perfect compromise that I was looking for!