(Closed) Two officiants or other ways to incorporate two backgrounds?

posted 8 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 4
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My fiance is Jewish and I am Catholic….we are getting married in a Catholic church but a Rabbi will be there to give a blessing. It really is the best of both worlds if you can manage it!

Post # 5
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We’re an (agnostic)Catholic/(observant)Jewish couple getting married.  We’re having a family friend officiate (who’s a judge) but are incorporating some religious traditions, like a chuppah.  That way it will “feel” Jewish, but won’t be as uncomfortable for my fiance and also his family.  Are there certain traditions that you would traditionally include in a Catholic wedding that you could add in even if you have a non-denominational wedding?

Post # 6
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am Christian and my fiance is Jewish and we are having both a Rabbi and a Pastor. I think it makes it much more interesting and I would feel terrible if he had to get married by somebody who did not believe in what he did and I know I would hate it if a Rabbi presided over our ceremony so, we are having both. That way we can both have the traditions and the ceremony aspects that are most important to us and share it as a couple because that is what we are going to be doing for the rest of our life together. It was tough finding a Rabbi that would do it and as for the Pastor we got lucky in that my father is ordained. I know it is possible to have a Jewish/Catholic wedding with two officients, just don’t expect it to be an easy task to get going. In the end it will be more than worth it though knowing you were both able to honor eachothers faith and families.

Post # 7
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@kfricke89: In the Catholic Faith, you cannot have a rabbi and a priest “co-preside”.  That would not be a valid wedding.  You can have the rabbi preside with a priest giving a final blessing or you can have the wedding in a Catholic Church, but anything else would make the marriage invalid and separate the Catholic from the Sacraments (i.e. you couldn’t take communion).

Post # 8
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Christinela: I bet if you just ask the priest if he would be willing to do the traditions and blessings that you find meaningful, he’d probably be glad to.  Might want to run it by your officiant first, just to clear the air and keep him/her in the loop.

Mostly, I’m just posting out of solidarity; I’m trying to find two co-officiants for our wedding (we’re a Lutheran/Jewish couple) and it is HARD.  Good luck all!

Post # 9
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would have a priest do the blessing, prayer and any other aspects of a catholic wedding you and ur FI feel comfortable with

Post # 10
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@CoffeeHound: actually i believe it is up to the priest to decide if the marriage is considered a sacrament. we are having a priest and rabbi co-officiate at our venue and our priest (who i have known since childhood) has made it clear that he will fill out all required paperwork to make good our marriage in the catholic faith.

 

but back to christanela- i don’t know if you could have a priest with a secular officiant. but why not. i would ask the priest and see how you can incorporate the personal touches from your friend and the religious from him.

Post # 11
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@hoopitup4e: actually i believe it is up to the priest to decide if the marriage is considered a sacrament.

No.  A marriage is a sacrament if it occurs between two baptized Christians.  A marriage between a Catholic and a Jew can never be a sacramental marriage – it is a natural marriage.  There’s no “judgement” or “decision” involved.

That said, the issue is probably semantics.  A “valid marriage” is one that is recognized by the Church.  Both sacramental and natural marriages can be valid marriages.  However, they are different.

 

Also, I would like to point out again that you can’t have a priest “and” another officiant.  The priest cannot perform a wedding with another officiant and cannot perform a wedding outside of a Catholic Church.  To do so is illicit and invalidates the ceremony.  A priest can witness a wedding with permission from the local bishop, but the wedding must be entirely conducted by another officiant.

 

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