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Two people just RSVP'd "no" and I'm ecstatic!!!

posted 4 months ago in Etiquette
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    1.
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    Worker bee
    QCamB    March 2012  

    Hear me out, we're having our reception at a restaurant and it can only hold 110 max.. we figured having the wedding in Vegas would help cut down the guestlist (we're both from LA) but there's still a good amount of people intending to go.. DAMN YOU VEGAS FOR BEING SO FUN!!!!!

    I looked at the complete guestlist and made a second guestlist that I call the "99% sure they're coming" guestlist.. and that second guestlist is already at 101 people (the 2 people who just RSVP'd "no" were on this second list.. YAY!).. meaning there are 9 spots left for any unexpected guests. I'm super worried and keeping my fingers crossed that we don't go over!

     
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    Busy bee
    Future MrsB    May 27, 2012   Live outside Boston, Wedding in Saratoga NY

    I have the same problem!  I originally intended for our wedding to be smaller and our venue only holds between 90 and 108.  I have 114 on the guest list and I'm looking forward to some no rsvps. 

     
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    Snow2bunny    July 21, 2012   Colorado

    Geez, I'm scared reading this. I have spots for 160 and there's 184 we think are coming. I really hope the whole 15% wont show up is true or I'm totally screwed. The venue can hold 200 but my budget can only hold 160 lol.

     
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    Bumble bee
    MerryWidow    July 21, 2012   Saratoga, NY

    Hahaha, I can understand...this is why I'm not sending save the dates!  My BFF asked if I would and I said 'No, then people will!'  It sounds cheesy, but the important people to us will be there no matter what, and the people that don't want to come but we are forced to invite will have a good excuse NOT to (you can't already have plans over a year in advance unless they're REALLY good).  Crossing fingers for you!!

     
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    Busy bee
    mtnhoney    August 1, 2012   Vancouver, BC, CAN

    LOL!!! so funny. but we all understand. I hate how 'etiquette' forces us to invite extanded family over closer friends, and invite people who we know/think/hope can't come, so as not to be rude.

    Just the other day one of my FI's aunts, who did NOT get a STD, found out about our wedding website via Gramma, logged on, and signed our guestbook saying- "Can't wait to come out and enjoy your big day!" How presumptuous! cheeky lady, just inviting herself like that.

    our hopes for a small-ish wedding seem impossible now. :(

     

     
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    Bee Keeper
    AmeliaBedelia    March 3, 2012   Georgia

    Hahaha, yay date twin! I would say I feel the same, but we have literally had NO ONE RSVP "No." What? We aren't that great guys..... Lol. We don't have a venue issue, but I would like to keep our catering costs a bit lower than with our guest list at max. We shall see. Plenty more RSVPs to go.

     
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    Bumble bee
    eagle    August 2012   Calgary, AB, Canada

    Yay for NOs!  I also want to get some No's so I can invite more friends and work people. 

     
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    Newbee
    Barika    March 31, 2012   Calgary

    That is sooo funny...I was the same.  My mom told me some family friends are most likely a NO and I cheered...she didn't feel the same!  They tell you to expect 20% no....BUT when you go to a destination place like Banff to expect an extra 20% haha.  

    Oh well...it may be a tad tight for dinner but the more the marrier!

    I am getting excited as all I have been hearing is HOW EXCITED everyone is to come! Enjoy the day...with or without the added guests.

     
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    Worker bee
    QCamB    March 2012  

    @Barika: Wow I had never heard of Banff before now. Just looked into it, GORGEOUS town! 

    My main fear is our max is 110, if we go over we have to rent the adjoining room (the walls slide back to connect to the current 2 rooms I have reserved) and pay another $2500 room minimum. THAT we definitely don't have room for in the budget. 

     
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    Bumble bee
    Dandelion D    April 13, 2013   Virginia

    Woo hoo! We are hoping for a few "no's" as well!

     
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    Worker bee
    QCamB    March 2012  

    UPDATE: just got more "no" RSVPs.. this time it was for a family of 6 (including 4 kids that I'm not too fond of anyway!). I am beyond stoked right now. I almost feel a little guilty haha.

     
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    Blushing bee
    SarahConnors    June 9, 2012  

    I haven't even sent the invitations yet and I have an expected "no" RSVP list. I'm hoping we get a good handful of no's! 

     
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    Busy bee
    futuremrsfitz18    September 9, 2012   Boston, MA

    Etiquette only says that you should invite family in 'tiers'.  i.e. if you invite one first cousin you invite them all, if you invite one great aunt you invite all the great aunts and uncles. 

    Maybe I'm an oddball but why are we cheering that people can't celebrate our special day with us?  That seems counterintuitive to me.  And why invite more ppl than your venue accommodates?  People do get 100% RSVPs sometimes...

     
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    Bumble bee
    Take The Reins    August 11, 2012   Canada

    @Barika:  SO jealous, Banff!  We got engaged there, at teh RImrock hotel.  It's beyond gorgeous.  Enjoy, hope you share some of your pics!  Where are you having it?

     
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    Helper bee
    furtureffcaptwife    July 28, 2012   Texas

    I feel the same way!! It's not about venue size as much as it is about catering cost!  In my head I'm saying PLLLLEAAASSEEE don't come....I thought that made me horrible....now I see it just makes me normal :)  Thanks for the post!

     
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    Blushing bee
    Cluster5    October 21, 2012   Las Vegas, NV

    This is SO funny! I was just looking at my guest list. I am also wishing all of these people won't come! I live in California and thought if I got married in Vegas I would save money and less people would show up, but it's not working out that way :(. My wedding isn't until October but everyone is saying they want to go! Even people I don't have on this stupid list! My site can hold more than my original 50 guest but, I don't wont to pay for all of these PEOPLE! My list has 100 guest on it! Double original number! I hope when the time comes people have other plans...like not being able to get off from work, not being able to afford a hotel room, or may not being able to find a babysitter...I know that's horrible! But that's how I feel! I totally understand a "NO" making you happy in this situation.

     
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    Wannabee
    sonyamarie    August 9, 2014   Austin, TX

    I'm sorry, but I don't understand why you would even invite more people than your venue can hold. If you have a large guest list, then you are supposed to cut it down, not just invite everyone and cross your fingers that people will say no. If you're just going to want them to say no, why invite them in the first place?

     

     

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