Post # 1
I will be a two-wedding bride. My husband and I were married by a mayor in May. We are planning to have a Catholic ceremony (technically a convalidation). We had hoped to have it on May 29, 2011, so we’d just have one anniversary, but now I don’t think we will be able to do it on that date.
So we will have two “wedding dates.” It’s not a big deal, except that it’s confusing. We consider our church wedding to be the “real” wedding. Though we are legally married, we don’t really consider ourselves to be married yet. I’m leaning towards using the church ceremony as the official anniversary, but was wondering how other Bees have dealt with this issue.
Post # 3
I’m only a one wedding bride, but a girl a know had two weddings. It wasn’t until after her second wedding (a very large, 9 BM extravagent affair) that people besides their families found out about the first wedding. Her husband is from another country and they got married right when he moved to the US, then got engaged AFTER their first wedding. Their second wedding came over a year later…
When everyone found out about the first wedding they would ask “so when is your anniversay?” She said that she wasn’t sure but they would probablly go with the second, larger wedding’s date, but might celebrate both. To me I found this odd…I guess because they weren’t engaged before the first wedding, then got engaged and were married again with such a large wedding.
If I had this brides story I think I would go with the first wedding date (but I also wouldn’t have had such a large second wedding), however every situation is different and I can’t really give you a good answer without being in that position myself. I’m sorry I’m not much help, just wanted to share a story about someone in a similar situation and what they decided.
Post # 4
FI and I are legally married (but also don’t consider ourselves married) in order to complete immigration work so we can actually live like a married couple but we will be celebrating our Catholic wedding anniversary date not the legal one.
Some people have commented that we shouldn’t have a big wedding but why shouldn’t we? It’s not like we wanted to get legally married first, we were forced to just to be able to be together after we truly are married.I don’t feel like we shouldn’t be able to have our dream wedding because of the way the goverment runs the immigration process.
Funy story, my parents had to get legally married 20 years after they were married in church because their church wedding wasn’t considered legal in the Middle East. They joked around about it especially since they had to have a banns printed in the newspaper and us kids found it lol. In the end it’s a peronal preference but I know we’re picking the date that we could commit ourselves in front of the people we love and in the way that we wanted to.
Post # 5
We had a civil ceremony in February to begin my DH’s green card paperwork, and a bigger religious wedding in September.
We are going to “celebrate” both anniversaries, but when people ask “how long have you been married”, I’m going to go by the February date because we’ve been together for 8 years and I don’t want to be cheated out of those extra 8 months.
Post # 6
I am not a two-wedding bride. Both of my friends who are, though, celebrate their anniversaries on the day of their later, bigger weddings. If you consider your church wedding to be your real wedding, then celebrate that date!
I also have another friend who had multiple weddings over about a month for various crowds (hard to explain, but it happened!). She and her husband do not celebrate any particular date as their wedding anniversary—instead, they celebrate the entire month.
Post # 7
I’m a two-wedding bride! Got married last November in India and here in the U.S. in April. April was our legal marriage, so legally we’ve only been married since April. But I still consider last November’s date as the day our marriage begun, so we’ll use that for calculating how long we’ve been together. As far as celebrating, we will celebrate both! We’ve decided we’ll go out for an Indian dinner for our Nov. anniversary and out for American food for the April anniversary. I love that we’ll have two anniversaries per year! I tease my husband that he has to remember TWO dates, instead of one. 🙂
Post # 8
my parents have that exact situation they celebrate there legal marriage date not there church wedding…
legal wedding in december
church wedding in july
Post # 9
My parents had two weddings. They lived in Germany when they got married. There, you have to have a civil ceremony even if you also have a religious one.
Their solution to the anniversary issue was to have the civil one be the one on which she gave him a present, and the religious one be when he gave her a present. That meant he got a couple of weeks’ notice of the anniversary he had to do anything for. 😉
Post # 10
We got lucky ours will be the exact same date just a year apart. If it were me, I would celebrate the second wedding. In my eyes, it is the emotional/spriritual one.
Post # 11
We are celebrating our elopment by having a Jamaica themed day. We married for the 1st time on the beach in Montego Bay. SO we did jerk chicken and res stripe beer at home while we played jamaican music and looked over our vacation and wedding pictures.
Then for the other big wedding day date we are going to exchange gifts with the traditional paper, leather, or metal or whatever goes along with that anniversary.
Post # 12
My brother and sister in law had two weddings, one simple, JP and one more elaborate Catholic affair a year later to appease elder family members. They celebrate the first date, as that’s when it was first legal, but more because that ceremony was “them,” the one they had planned. I think it’s less which date it technically was, and more what your heart says was your wedding day.
Post # 13
@2dBride:very nice, smart mom!
Post # 14
two wedding bride here. we are going with the 2nd wedding — the “public” wedding — as our official anniversary.
Post # 15
I would personally consider the church wedding date the “real” anniversary, but that is because I am religious. I think it’s up to you which date is the “real” start of your marriage. 🙂