Weddingbee boards

I think there are soooo many factors that come into play. If it wasn't malicious, then I don't think that anyone should change anything. Perhaps the second couple's venue was only available on that particular date. Or perhaps the second couple has a friend or family member who could only come in on a certain date. There's a lot that goes on behind the scenes, and so couples have soooo many people to please when it comes to their wedding. After a certain point, you try to accommodate as many as people as possible, but you have to do what is best for yourselves as a couple.

I don't want to seem rude, because you have some very real concerns re: family overlap if both families would have to travel for these weddings so close together, but I think it's important for all brides-to-be to remember that we get a wedding day, not a wedding month or wedding season. While your cousin may be inconsiderate for not thinking about the family who will have to travel twice to be at both weddings, she's most likely making choices based on what's best for herself and her groom, just like you probably are.

I think it's definitely wise to send your invites out early so that people can plan ahead to be there, and it might help if you could secure some good rates at local hotels to cut the costs for any guests who will choose to travel twice. 

At the end of the day, if you and your FH truly matter to these relatives, they'll be at your wedding if they possibly can. 

Good luck! I hope this helps! 

If it were within a week or two, I would definitely say change the second date. However, a month out from the first one isn't so bad....it gives everyone a few weeks to recoup.

And the fact that they're cousins....that means they only have one side of the family in common. This is a better scenario than, say, two siblings getting married within a month.

I don't know how I missed this thread but I'm glad I just caught it because I have a big opinion on it ... reason being that I am bride number 1 right now, and I couldn't be happier! 

I got engaged on May 10th, 2008 ... my cousin (she and i are very close, same age, grew up best friends, went to college together) got engaged on May 25th. We were both so so happy for each other!! 

Then - in mid June I decided on my wedding date -- January 2, 2010 -- far away because of the fact that many of our friends already had summer and fall dates chosen and I was traveling for work for three months ... that was our date and we were really excited about it.  Until two weeks later when my cousin chose her date December 5, 2009. Yeah, one month before. And not only that, but both are smack in the middle of the holidays to boot!!  I played happy, though I was kind of upset, I mean winter weddings in downtown Boston are fairly rare ... why couldn't she choose another season? Another location?? (We arent at the same location but they are somewhat similar.)  I was fairly annoyed, but man, my parents were even more upset. They told me I had to start "claiming" things right away. Locations, decorations, colors, etc. They were saying "Cousin's is before yours so you want to make sure she knows what you are doing so she doesnt steal it!" It got me really worked up and very anxious about my wedding that was still more then a year and a half away.   

Then (and this is where it gets better!) I was deciding on my bridesmaids ... and Cousin kept coming up in my mind, I wanted her to be in my wedding. I talked to my fiance and my sister and they both said to do it, but I wasn't sure how she would take it. Would she want to participate?  Would she be too busy with her own wedding?  Well I finally just called her up and talked to her about it ... come to find out - she wanted me to be in her wedding too!!  We laughed and joked and talked about how both of our parents were saying the same things. We both realized how lucky we were to have each other to talk to about not only wedding planning but our crazy family!!!  So now we talk about our weddings with each other all the time. And come to find out - we have totally different tastes and our weddings are going to be super different. 

With all that said, sure there will be family members who won't be able to make it to both -- but lucky for us our family is wonderful and very supportive of both of us.  I mean we are only 2 of 33 first cousins!  Our fathers (they are brothers) along with two of their other siblings were all married in the same year (yes - 4 siblings!! 1976 was a busy year! ha!) Cousin and I reminded our parents of this and everyone has calmed down a bit. We got to spend the 2008 holidays talking to our families about "next year" and how much fun it will be to all be able to spend time together throughout the holidays.

And finally - to the original poster quoted - I am so sorry that your family is being split up over this. if you have the "power" I would try to get everyone to come together to realize that this is a happy time for both sets of brides and grooms. The family is getting bigger! More weddings means more grandchildren!  how can people say no to more grandchildren :)   ha!  In all seriousness -- if the family is being split up about it, try to get the brides and grooms to talk about it, try to figure out a way for everyone to get on the same page so that the family isn't divided anymore!!  Good luck!