Typical arguments?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@moonfairie:  FI and I are dont argue that often, maybe once a week or so? I wouldnt even call it proper arguments, it’s more like we are discussing different things. FI is more sensitive though, he will say that I shouted at him even when I barely raised my voice. He is the kind to become very quiet during a discussion while I turn into speeches…

Proper arguing for us would involve bringing up old stuff, having to leave the room for a few minutes to calm down and tears. Fortunately that does not happen often.

Could it be that your husband went to a boarding school by any chance? Or non-state single sex school? People I have met who boarded from a young age hated arguments and would avoid them at all costs.

Post # 4
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

SO and I are kind of similar. He’s a very loud, passionate, emotional person. I certainly have and show a lot of emotions, but I don’t express them like he does. He is also a ranter. I often have to try to cut him off several times because he starts on a tangent and he works himself up and with me trying to calm him down it starts to seem like we’re arguing. I ask him to stop because nobody is arguing back about what he’s saying, so he should calm down. When he is upset, he also seems angrier than he actually is. When we argue for real, I get scared that he is insanely angry with me when he’s really just annoyed. He’s just so loud.

He thinks we argue rarely. I think we argue relatively often. But that’s because I consider every negative interaction somewhat of an argument. Earlier today I was in a bad mood and being a little unreasonable for like 10 minutes with him on the phone. He got annoyed with it as he should have. In my mind, that was an argument. But it has absolutely no impact on our relationship because it was over by the end of the call. These things are totally normal in a relationship. When I interact with one person so often, there’s no way for me to just be rational all the time! With anyone else in my life, I just keep to myself if I’m in a bad mood and am known to tell people to not talk to me or not listen to what I say if I’m in a particularly bad mood and can’t isolate myself. But SO has to deal with all sides of me and sometimes his reactions to it make it seem like an argument. I understand this, and therefore I don’t really let it bother me.

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