Typical Reasons for Divorce

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
2169 posts
Buzzing bee

I got this when I googled: “A recent national survey found that the most common reason given for divorce was “lack of commitment” (73% said this was a major reason). Other significant reasons included too much arguing (56%), infidelity (55%), marrying too young (46%), unrealistic expectations (45%), lack of equality in the relationship (44%), lack of preparation for marriage (41%), and abuse (29%). (People often give more than one reason, so the percentages add up to more than 100%.)”

I would think that significantly different views/morals/values about any important aspect of marriage (eg. money) would also be a major factor.

Post # 3
Member
791 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think sex issues and money issues would be among the stop reasons these days. 

Post # 4
Member
4828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

KoiKove:  Money problems is another big one.

I married a guy who wasn’t right for me and yes, there were red flags. Finally got smart about those and am remarried to an awesome guy!

Post # 5
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

For me, it was substance abuse (not mine).  I don’t know if I could have seen it coming or not.

Post # 6
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

KoiKove: my cousin was with her BF for over 10 years, he proposed, she said yes. They divorced 2 years later. She said that she should have said no to the proposal, but at the time she felt that it was “the next step” They grew apart. 

I think that people today are too quick to get divorced. I am not saying that you should NEVER divorced, but I get the impression that people don’t work to save the marriage. 

 

Post # 7
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I divorced about 7 years ago, after a 10+ year marriage. My reasons were numerous, but included: lack of equality (not only did I make most of the money, I also worked longer hours, took care of all the housework and errands, and cared for our children while he played), lack of priority by him (he always put me and the kids at the bottom of his priority list, under hunting, fishing, bowling, playing cards and drinking with his friends) and different life goals (he just wanted to hunt and fish, while I wanted to travel and see the world and visit museums). We grew apart and he wasn’t willing to work on it. 

Post # 8
Member
210 posts
Helper bee

Number one reason? People give up to easily. 

Post # 9
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

financial problems, infidelity, and married for the sake of kids and not love all come to mind.

Post # 10
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

AquamarineQueen:  +1

Divorce is usually just an easy out for people who don’t want to work at it. Adultery, abandonment, and abuse are the only legitimate reasons I could see for divorce. 

Post # 11
Member
518 posts
Busy bee

We grew apart and we went to counseling for a year and neither of us was able to change to fit. We were incompatible on a few levels. The biggest thing for me was him not being affectionate, and he got less and less as the relationship wore on. I supposed I should have known being affectionate was not ‘normal’ for him and it was something he had to work at. Maybe a year wasn’t long enough to try, but life is short and I am with my perfect match now, so I really don’t care if people judge me for ‘giving up’. I’m sure my reason wasn’t “good enough” for many people and that’s fine, I’d rather be happy than a martyr. No one has any right to decide if someone has a “good enough” reason to get divorced. Your reason is the only reason you need.

Post # 12
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

The two marraiges I’m watching head towards divorce both started on the same premise.  Marriage is going to fix something.  Going in with that attitude just seems doomed to failuar.  If your relationship isn’t working prior to marriage, marriage isn’t a magic wand that makes it better.  Infidelity will continue to happen, arguements will continue to happen, drug use will continue to happen. 

Post # 13
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Two of my husband’s closest friends, who have been married for 6 years and together for 10, and were both in our wedding, just decided to get divorced and we found out about it yesterday ): Apparently they’ve been fighting a lot, and one of them just decided it was over. It breaks my heart that they’re not trying couples counseling or something first, they just moved across the country a couple months ago, and that can be extremely stressful for anyone. I made my husband promise me that he would (except for truly extreme circumstances) never try to divorce me without trying counseling first, and I promise the same to him.

Post # 14
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Out of all the marriages that I’ve seen fall apart:

– Infidelity plus the lack of understanding that they are in the wrong

– married after years of dating through HS & college, then one person undergoes personal growth that the other doesn’t support.

– Abuse/hostility in the home

Post # 15
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My mom always told me that the number one reason for divorce was a meddling mother in law 

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