Post # 1
Fiance just doesn’t get weddings.
I was telling him that we need to set the RSVP date so we have enough time to follow up with those who forgot to send us back the reply cards. Well his response “why should we babysit, if they don’t respond then they obviously don’t want to come”. So I had to explain to him that he’s right in most cases but not when it comes to wedding because we really need to know whether or not they’re coming.
Another example is he thinks EVERYTHING should be a secret to family and friends. We shouldn’t show our invitations, we shouldn’t show the stuff we’ve bought (card box, place cards, ribbon for favors, etc…)
I could go on and on but I won’t 🙂 It’s just frustrating because he thinks it should be done his way not the proper “wedding way”.
Post # 3
There’s really no one way to do it and IMO no proper “wedding way”.
I think you’re totally right abou the RSVP because they might well show up and mess up your catering contracts etc.
However, showing people things or keeping things secret is completely a matter of preference. Tough when you and your Fiance have different preferences but totally possible to work it out.
Post # 4
I actually agree with your Fiance about keeping the wedding details secret. I show stuff to my mom, but generally prefer to leave it a surprise for everyone else – I think it’s more fun that way! I definitely think most issues like this one are a matter of preference – there is no “wedding way” as Arachna said!
In cases when there really is a “right and wrong”. like the RSVPs, you just need to explain the logic behind it (if they show up, you’ll have to pay extra), and I’m sure Fiance will see the light.
Post # 5
Guys just don’t get weddings, lol. My guy is fine without doing the wedding (we already eloped 4 years ago, just getting around to the wedding, lol), but i told him we’re doing something i want for once! He doesn’t get a lot of the wedding stuff, but he just goes with it, and tries to help, even though there’s things he’d rather be doing!
Post # 6
I agree about not showing EVERYONE but he doesn’t even want to show parents. He’s quite against it so they haven’t seen anything. I think they feel left out but ohhh well I guess.
I almost wish he’s step back and let me do most of the wedding planning but he’s quite involved compared to lots of guys I’ve heard of.
Post # 7
You seem to feel a bit in a pickle – I am sorry!!!
I agree with the other gals that you are indeed correct in wanting to f/u with the folks that have yet to RSVP. The other thing about the non RSVP’ers is that its flat out rude, I mean come on people you are given a solid window of time to confirm whether you can or cannot attend!!!!
In regards to sharing certain details you have thus far – – I think its something you can work through and ficure out. For us we aren’t sharing because too many people have too many opinions and it begins to get a bit crowded if you know what I mean!!!
Post # 8
It’s funny what FH is insistent on. Like when I told him about the Save-The-Date Cards and needing everyone’s addresses (including cousins).
Him: “Well, they’d just be included under the umbrella STD sent to the parents.”
Me: “No, honey. Each person over the age of 18 gets their own, even if they still live at home.”
This is especially important because we’re doing an 18+ guest list . . . which means that NOT everyone in a household is invited and this is my way to ease them into that realization.
I’m just going to do it my way 🙂
Post # 9
^^^ We just had the STD discussion. He still doesn’t understand. LOL.
Post # 10
Hahah my sweetie is so not wedding-wired! At least you’re likes to keep quiet to friends and family. Unbeknownst to me, my darling told everyone he works with (who are also invited) how much it’s costing us! Eek! He had no idea that was a major faux pau.
Post # 11
I sympathize but I think in the end you will be very pleased that you have a more involved groom. Wedding are a lot of work and time and being able to share that burden with another person is wonderful.
Post # 12
When my Fiance gets weird ideas about the wedding I ask the Hive what the proper etiquette is since I’m not an expert myself. Then I show him the answers, “see these girls know what they’re talking about, that’s not how it’s done”. To my suprise he seems to accept WB as an authority and usually relents
Post # 13
My hunny doesn’t even get involved in our wedding at all!! & I guess I’m okay with that…LOL he helps every now & then but for the most part I keep him out of the loop.
I think it’s cute that he doesn’t want anyone to see the invites, etc. Although, I definitely showed mine off!