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UGH! Fiance is clueless & wants to pick his own suit!!

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Who do you agree with?
    Me - Khaki suit with light aqua shirt and nice aqua/turquoise tie : (12 votes)
    48 %
    Him - Black suit, white shirt, and whatever tie the random sales lady throws at him : (13 votes)
    52 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    274 posts
    Helper bee
    Chartreuse    March 6, 2010   Belize

    this is a vent.......OK I know that it's "his wedding too", etc. but he doesn't know anything about clothes!!!  He wears a dress shirt with tie to work everyday.  And almost everyday I have to scold him that his tie doesn't match.  None of his shirts are the right size, he either doesn't bother to button the top button, or it's too loose.  All his pants are too long because he's a 29 inseam but it's very rare to find that so he gets 30, but then never takes it to the tailor to hem, so they are all chewed up at the bottom from him walking on the hem.  It's a beach wedding, and the colours are turquoise and green.  The groomsmen are wearing turquoise long sleeved guayaberas with khaki pants.  Or so I thought...this morning he was like...."why not black?" Is he crazy? for a BEACH WEDDING?? then I asked him what kind of suit he was going to buy...."just black with a white shirt" he says.  UGH!!! He's really getting on my nerves, he doesn't even know what my dress looks like, and it's NOT white, it's ivory.  PLUS I used to work in the suit dept of JCPenney and they trained us to know how it should fit!!  He just can't think outside the box... I know that if I was there and picked out his outfit, he would like it.  He always disagrees with me and then ends up liking it after I do it....for the house, clothes, Xmas decorations, etc.  He's gonna look out of place and not to mention sweat to death in a black suit...

    Who do you agree with?

    Me - Khaki suit with light aqua shirt and nice aqua/turquoise (maybe hint of green) patterened or paisley tie

    Him - Black suit, white shirt, and whatever tie the random sales lady throws at him

    (yes, he is completely weak when it comes to the sales ladies....he has been convinced to buy the Magiff Nail buffer set before) 

    P.S. I don't mean to sound like Bridezilla, but his outfit is just as important as mine, and I just want it to look amazing in the pics that we will have to look at forever.

     
    2.
    Member Icon
    2,050 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Anonymous      

    I think you need to do some creative photoshopping here. Find a bride in a dress that is the same color but nothing like yours, on a beach getting married. Set up the groom dressed in the black suit. Show them that they most certainly do not match--especially if her look is more "beachy bride" and less "formal bride."

    If nothing else, buy him his outfit and then tell him he looks damn good... but  then tell him if he wants, he can add a matching jacket, too. That would keep it in line with the wedding, but with the more formal look he wants.

    And if none of those things work, ask him how he would feel if you dressed completely wrong for the wedding--how your first look would go, and how he would have a vision for how he wants to see you in your white dress. tell him your vision for him is much the same. Good luck! I totally get that its his wedding too, but if he just doesn't look good in the things he picks, well--this is kind of the one time that matters.

     
    3.
    Member
    816 posts
    Busy bee
    Mrs. Dee to Bee    January 30, 2010   Louisville, KY (Wedding in TX)

    Ok...calm down girlie! I do think the khaki suit would look better, but it's important to make him feel validated and that he's NOT an idiot. So, why don't you give it a week? Just don't mention it for a while. And then nicely bring it up after you've both had some time to cool off. Hope that helps!

     
    4.
    Member
    6,094 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Future Mrs. Martin    August 21, 2010   London Ontario Canada

    I agree that your choice would suit the wedding better but I also think that he should have some choice in his outfit!

    I would show him pictures of a beach wedding to show him the look you are going for and then hopefully he will be able to pick something that he likes from that style!

    Good Luck!

     
    5.
    Member
    274 posts
    Helper bee
    Chartreuse    March 6, 2010   Belize

    hahaha ok sorry didn't mean to sound hyper-ventilating or anything....

    but the thing is, we don't live in the States, and we are planning to Miami soon for wedding shopping.  But he's saying, that I should go with my Mom, without him.  And he'll go with his Dad at a different time and pick his suit. (His Dad is elderly and  equally as sales-lady-weak and clueless about fashion)  I just can't trust that he'll come back with a good looking outfit.

     
    6.
    5,478 posts
    Bee Keeper
    lilyfaith    June 23, 2012   Lakeview, Chicago

    Oh, I feel you on this. 

    I had a vision for the GM - grey tuxes, to go with grey accents on these BM dresses I loved without being too matchy matchy. 

    But R feels grey tuxes are trendy, and black is classic, so I'm sucking it up. Honestly, I wheedled a bit but I would be upset if he told me what color to make the BM dresses, and I'm excited that he's voicing an opinion and planning something, so I'm just going with it. It's the marriage that counts, not the perfectly coordinated wedding, right? 

     
    7.
    Member Icon
    Member
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    aloweha      

    Ugh how irritating. My husband hates shopping but when he does it he can come home with some really interesting (read: horrible) stuff. So I know how frusterating it can be. Definately keep going with the "you are going to be so hot (temperature, not looking) in a black suit on the beach". Maybe if you pretend you are focusing more on his comfort rather than his lack of taste he will start to see your point of view. Or make it really easy for him with your choice - like find the suits, shirts and ties and say "all we have to do is purchase them." He may cave when that is easier than going out and finding his own suit. Also going into Spring, a khaki suit is more practical than a black suit. He'll have more opportunity to wear it for other occasions or to work. Hope any of this helps. Good luck.

     
    8.
    Member
    979 posts
    Busy bee
    tammyt112    May 29, 2010  

    LOL sounds like my man! He is the same way, always wants to be right and do opposite of what I want and I find myself later on saying 'told you so', and he nods in agreement.  I had to take my FI to the suit shop to help him pick it out and we tried on a million different styles, colors and shoes just so he can see all the differences.  If I didnt go with him, he would totally be clueless, and now we are both happy with what we picked.  He will be soooo uncomfortable with a black suit on at the beach, you need to tell him again and again, sometimes men just dont have common sense in some departments, thats why they have us to guide them and care for them

     
    9.
    2,766 posts
    Sugar bee
    clarebee    August 21, 2010   Vienna, VA (wedding in Greensboro, GA)

    I like the idea of your look better BUT at the same time if thats what he wants to wear then so be it. You might just want to say that black is going to be really hot for people to wear and it doesnt really fit the style of a beach wedding. Maybe he just doesnt understand that? If he decides to wear the black suit and white shirt then maybe you could buy a nice tie for him that would go with your other colors. Or maybe he could wear a colored shirt and a nice tie that you buy for him? You want him to feel comfortable and like himself too so dont disregard what he has to say. ANyways, I think an ivory dress and black suits will look fine together! Dont stress too much - for all you know 20 years down the line you could look back at the khaki suit you chose (if he wears it) and say "thats so out of style, what was I thinking!?"

     
    10.
    Member
    6,033 posts
    Bee Keeper
    PrncssDva    October 16, 2010   Memphis, TN

    I totally understand how you are feeling. My guy was set on having black and I don't want black at all. What I did was not mention it for a while and showed him pics of what I wanted and how m=nice it'll look. You can do this on David's Bridal's website. Now he is doing exactly what I wanted in the beginning and thinks it's his idea, lol. Perfect!!

     

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