- Miss Mitzie
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2011
Because I feel like I am planning someone else’s wedding. Why do I feel like this? Well to start off with FI and I booked a trip to Couples Swept Away in December because we found a deal we couldn’t pass up and we were planning on getting married while we were down there. Neither one of us wanted to shell out thousands and thousands of dollars to put on a party for everyone else. A private ceremony in Jamaica sounds nice. FILs stepped in after we made plans and told everyone and threw a fit. Everyone on FIs side of the family had a problem with this. At first I was kind of a hard ass and said tough, then FIs grandfather came to me with a 10k check and asked me privately just to have the wedding here to make people happy… Ok
I gave in because I want to make the family happy, and really with someone else paying for it, it is going to be a fun time…
Then we started planning with the goal to have planning done by the end of July when we start planning and building our haunted forest that consumes our life until after Halloween. Ever since we started planning I have felt like I am planning a wedding for a woman who isn’t me.
I hate wearing white, it makes me look pale and washed out, so originally I did not want a white dress. Who cares what color the dress is right? This day is about expressing our commitment to eachother, not wearing a poofy white dress…. Apparently I am wrong there, because when I tried to talk to FI about it he threw a fit. “You HAVE to wear a white dress or it isn’t a wedding”. Well it is his wedding also and I want him to be happy, so after a few trips and many tried and discarded dresses I found one that I am happy with, that will also please him. Then the dress drama continued with FMIL stepping in and asking me how much my dress cost (everything except shoes under $1000) and freaking out when I told her even though she didn’t contribute and the dress came from my private bank account, not the wedding budget. Recently I have been thinking about BM dresses and looking online to find a style and color I like that will work for all of my 3 girls. This is not such an easy feat. My MOH is a blond vampire… Well not vampire really but she is super pale, BM 1 is tan and brunette BM 2 is pale and red headed. So in talks with the girls and my looking I have decided I just want to go shopping and find black dresses that they can wear again. They don’t have to match, and we can save money, and have a new dress for the girls! Plus white and black is a classy combo and 20 years from now our pics won’t (I hope) look super out-dated. I tell my plan to FI and he asked me if I was planning a funeral and not a wedding… WTF??
Ok I don’t have many single friends, and there will only be 5-6 single women at our wedding, so I don’t want to do a traditional bouquet toss, I thought maybe a “good luck” toss for all women would be more fun and more appropriate for us. I also don’t like the garter toss (why I would want FI under my skirt in front of 100 people is beyond my understanding). FI is demanding both of these things happen.
I thought it would be fun for the bridal party to do learn a dance and do together to open things up on a fun move. FI vetoed that.
All of my friends like Kareoke (sp?) so I thought having that option available would be fun. When I mentioned it to FI he asked me if I was planning a party instead of a wedding… Well yeah it is a party. It is a celebration of our commitment…
I’m just feeling like I am having a wedding where nothing is my way… Am I being selfish here for wanting some un-traditional things that say this is my wedding?