@Chrysoberyl: Me! We know all the same statistics as they do, we probably know them better since we’ve heard them so many times! Are we taking a risk? Yes. Why are we taking the risk? Because it is worth it. Period. I believe my relationship is worth defying the odds, that’s all, why is that so hard to understand? It’s based on more than crazy love and passion and looks. It’s based on respect, trust, honesty and communication, a belief in hard work and a great sense of humor. So yes, I know I’m young, I think I of all people should know this, I also know that no matter how old I become I could not find someone as suited for me as my FI.
Also, do they really think that because they tell you, usually people that do not know you, all of a sudden you’re going to realize that you’re making the mistake of a lifetime? Granted, I’m sure it happens for a few counted individuals, but overall it sours the experience a bit for the rest of us! I wish people would think about this, how many grandparents are divorced? At what age did they marry? How many parents do you know that are divorced? At what age did they marry? Maybe they would realize that it isn’t so much about age but much more about the perspective each generation had on marriage, I saw something on pintrest (many will think cliche w/e I loved it):”We came from a generation where when things were broken we didn’t throw them away, we fixed them.” The response of a couple who had been married 60+ years when asked how they did it.
I snapped at the ‘substitute’ hairdresser as well, made it completely personal and I am not proud of it either. Due to religion, divorce isn’t exactly an option for me, I know many find this idealistic and old fashioned, that’s just the way I was raised. After politely listening to her list all the reasons why her marriage fell apart and why men are pigs and what she wishes she would have done instead of getting married and having kids, I simply pointed out that due to religion and culture divorce wasn’t an option for me but that I was really sorry she had to go through that, and I was sure she would fare better with her new marriage. She laughed, made fun of me and then said that nobody enters a marriage thinking about divorce but that it is ALWAYS an option, a way out is necessary, especially once I realized how foolish I was for getting married so young. HOW RUDE!
Not only did she discredit my beliefs but also doomed my marriage to fail? Yeah, after 40 minutes I had had it, my snarky, bitchy response: Well, I’ll make an analogy, I’m sure everyone gains weight after marriage, I mean you should know (Mean girls worthy eye ball up and down), the problem is when it isnt fixed quickly or adamantly, when it is just allowed to sit as a comodity because hey, you’re married why sould you care about your looks. Those are the same reasons why marriages that started well end, at least the ones I have seen fall apart, the couple stops caring.
I felt terrible about it afterwards, I think it js the meanest I have ever been to anyone. Next time I went with my regular hairdresser, she had lost weight and was wearing makeup.