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Ugh. Fail.

posted 1 year ago in Home
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    1.
    Member
    1,538 posts
    Bumble bee
    JulesSchnooks    July 30, 2011   Maryland

    I don't know what I'm hoping to accomplish by posting this. If anything, I'm embarrassed and ashamed of myself.

    I'll preface the story with this: I have a hair of mechanical inclination, especially for a woman. My FI came from a very well-to-do family, and they generally hire other people do handy-work things for them. Coming from a life of excessive privilege, his know-how in the real world only goes so far. When it comes to putting things together, he doesn't really *try* to learn, just kind of looks at the heap of whatever it is that needs assembly, and says "I don't know what to do!"

    Enter me. I have a tool box. A hammer. A power drill. A SANDER! I MUST be an expert, right? I can get around, but I'd hardly label myself as such. But FI has another idea. Anyway, he looks to me to get things done. Plus the house-cleaning. Luckily he cooks, but I digress.

    So we recently bought a home, and with a home comes a yard. We JUST bought a lawn mower not but 2 weeks ago. We got it home, and again, he looks at me, asks me to assemble it, and goes inside. So I did. I screwed the screws, tightended the bolts, set the settings, filled 'er up with gas and oil, all set. Everything was fine, until yesterday when he went to mow the lawn (which I had to show him how to do). He got midway through the yard, when suddenly the mower sputtered. And then it just plain wouldn't start. The chord didn't even want to pull. We did what the manual said to try, to no avail.

    We finally got to the shop today, and the tech looked at the oil tank. He said it was EMPTY! THE ENGINE WAS LOCKED AND RUINED! I was so upset. I PUT OIL IN IT! I'm not a mechanical genius, but oil should coat the line on the dipstick when you test the thing. This much I know. Ugh. According to Mr. Repair Technician, apparently, this isn't good enough. You must gauge the color of the oil coating it. A thin veneer of oil on the dip stick apparently doesn't cut it. I'm so embarrassed.

    In my defense, the owner's manual never at any point indicates HOW MUCH you need to initially add to the tank when you first purchase the thing. Had it said "add one full quart" or whatever the measurement is would have been ideal.

    My ultimate point is: I feel a lot of pressure with these things resting on my head to be responsible for, and not but 2 weeks ago did I tell FI this in our pre-marriage counseling. I told him that I was scared I would fail at something, and it was a lot of pressure to deal with. I told him I needed his help, and I needed him to get engaged in learning to do things with me.

    Now, if this isn't a case in point, I don't know what is. I suppose it's a silver lining to the issue. He GETS it now, and was very reassuring today on the way home from dropping off the mower at the "hospital". He promised to be more open to learning to do things for himself, and thusly being accountable along with me. That makes me feel better, but I'm still angry I voided our warantee on the stupid mower!

     
    2.
    Member
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    Ambrocked    June 11, 2011   Madison, Wisconsin

    Gauge the color of the oil coating it? I've never heard of such a thing (unless you're trying to decide if it needs to be changed perhaps...)!  Only so much oil is going to cling to the dipstick, no matter how much is in there, especially if it's brand new oil.  Don't be embarrassed, and don't beat yourself up about this- you know (and did) way more than most women would.  Be proud of yourself for that! 

     
    3.
    Member
    1,203 posts
    Bumble bee
    MissCallieJean       NY

    I wouldn't be embarrassed because if we all knew how to do everything there would be no business for the lawn mower hospital! lol. Lesson learned, now you know. Hopefully this little moment will make FI want to learn how to help around the house.

     
    4.
    Member
    1,538 posts
    Bumble bee
    JulesSchnooks    July 30, 2011   Maryland

    @MissCallieJean: Thanks, you're right. :) Mower hospital needs some dollars too.

    I just wanted to blow some steam. This on top of general wedding planning, and getting through finals week of school this semester. The bee is the best place to go. As always, tomorrow will be better, and now fi gets where I'm coming from.

     
    5.
    Member
    5,938 posts
    Bee Keeper
    eloping    May 23, 2010  

    im the handy one in our relationship as well - all the tools are mine and he even woke me up once to do some handywork for his dad because he didnt want me to yell at him for touching my tools *roll eyes*  and dont even get me started on how he left me alone for an entire weekend putting ikea furniture together

    you did your best, you are not a mower mechanic that is suppose to know these things - you and he are a partnership so lesson learnt for the future. goodluck!

     

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