Post # 1
About a week ago I text my ex of 5 years whom I havent spoken to in about 2 years. I text him to let him know that my grandfather had passed away just so he would know type of thing, since he did know him. It most certainly wasn’t becuase I wanted sympathny or needed anything from him. He responded with is there anything I can do, I just responded with no I just thought you might want to know.
He ended up showing up at my fathers work place to give his sythmpany or whatever to my parents. My dad really just wanted to kick his ass and tell him off but he behaved himself since my ex was apprently nice about it and apologized for ignoring my parents for the last two years. (they live in the same town so when they ran into each other he would pretend they werent there)
Anyways I got a text from him today saying :if you ever want to talk let me know
How are earth do I respond to this?? Or do i respond to this?
I’m currently in a really good relationship and weve been together for a good 1.5 years, of course i told him about it and he was like how are you gonna responed? my thoughts are probally just ignoring it…I mean I dont hate him and he was one of my best friends and all, but at the same time at the end of the relationship he told me he didnt think he ever loved me more than a friend…after 5 years wtf? that still pisses me off. and I’m not sure I can forgive him for MIA for two years…plus I really don’t think my bf would approve of me talking to him to begain with.
So I guess I’m asking what I should do?
Post # 3
ignore it… or responde telling him thanks but no thanks
Post # 4
I would either not respond at all, or just say “Thank you” and leave it at that. I think his text is more in response to your grandfather’s death rather than him wanting get back into your life.
And I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather. 🙁
Post # 5
I would either ignore it or just tell him that you are in a good relationship now and you don’t think talking to him would be a good idea.
Post # 6
I have to agree with the others….you either ignore the text or you just say “thanks” and let it go.
Post # 7
I really don’t think you need to say anything. To me, it seems rude to say that you’re in a relationship, or “thanks but no thanks”–that almost makes it seem like you’re assuming that he wants to get back together. To me it sounds like he’s honestly just trying to be nice. If you don’t want to talk to him just ignore it.
Post # 8
I would just say thank you and move on. By texting him, you kind of opened the door for him to think it was ok/appropriate to text you, so just send a polite reply and them do not contact him/talk to him again.
Post # 9
I don’t mean to sound judgmental or anything, but it seems weird that you texted him in the first place if you didn’t want him to talk to you…even if he did know your grandfather. It just seems like you were opening a can of worms. Obviously he’s going to text you back wondering if you need someone to talk to because in his mind you were reaching out to him (that’s what I woud think if an ex I hadn’t talked to in 2 years texted me). I don’t think you should text him back or if you do just say thank you and move on. Maybe I don’t really understand the problem here.
I am sorry about your grandfather passing away though…I know that losing a family member can be a really difficult time.
Post # 10
Like the pp said, if you didn’t want to hear from him, you probably shouldn’t have texted him in the first place. If I were him, I’d probably assume that you wanted to talk if you texted something like that. It sounds like he’s been polite and kind in his responses (to you and your family) in this situation, so if you don’t want to talk to him, just say thanks for the offer and leave it at that.
Post # 11
Yeah I realize that I opened a can of worms, I debated a while weather or not to text him about it in the first place but decided to let him know, considering he knew him…it most certaintly wasn’t becuase I wanted someone to talk to, and I most certainly wasn’t expecting him to actually go and talk to my parents (whom hes terrified of) now. It was more to be curtious or polite. And I wasn’t expecting him to reply a week later with “IF you ever want to talk let me know” My thoughts were just that I’d text him to let him know that it had happend and that would be the end of it…..
But now it just seems like he does actually want to talk which seems weird..just wasnt sure how to responed that part of it…
Post # 12
@MissParrot: I think you are in denial and wanted to talk to him. My ex I dated for 7 years and was engaged to and I do not text him to notify him of things that are going on in my family. I have my FI and I respect him enough to not be texting exes no matter what the circumstances.
Post # 13
@nycbride2011 I am not in denial I didn’t really want to text him but did it out of respect, I am not complaining that he text me back was just wondering how to responed to it, And lastly my BF knows that I did so and Knows exactly how the conversation went and is fine with it, Not sure how exactly that is being disrepectful to him?…maybe if I were hiding it from him…but I’m not.
Everyone else thanks for your advice and I can see where your coming from but right now I think the best thing to to do is just to ignore it.
Post # 14
Don’t see what the big deal is. I believe you opened the door to texting and he’s merely being polite to ask if you are ok essentially and he’s there for you if you need it. I wouldn’t read into it thoughts of wanting to get back together.
Post # 15
I would just say “Thanks” . I agree with the other posters…