Post # 1
Well I’m only 23, but most of my friends have kids. Yes, most! And it’s getting really hard. I don’t want kids right now, but in a few years I’d like to be seriously planning for kids. I already have my career started, I’m saving up for a house then I hope to start planning for kids. So mid to late twenties for me to have kids.
However, seeing all these baby pics is making me sort of jealous. I know that sounds bad, but I suffer from health issues. And it’s been hard for the last few years. I see everyone else living life so carelessly yet I have to be so careful, it sucks!
Plus a bunch of my friends are getting married/engaged/having kids when they are younger and haven’t even been dating as long as me and SO have.
Today my friend’s little sister announced she is pregnant. She isn’t even done high school yet! And I have a friend who hasn’t even been dating his gf 5 months yet and they are pregnant AND enganged!
Anyone else feel this way? It’s crazy because everyone seems so young in my circle, yet they are doing all these things. I’m the only one who has gone to college and is working at a decent job though. I think it’s hard because I literally have no one to relate to anymore. My life seems so insignificant to what happens in theirs. At least that is how some of them make me feel sometimes….
Post # 3
@sarabee: Can I just say it’s going to suck for your friend’s little sister, more than likely? I’ve seen lots of young moms who struggle a lot more than moms who wait until they’re more established.
Plus, by the time you do have children, you will be more mature (your brain doesn’t stop changing until you’re 25! We’re still kids!). Your friends will be more mature. You’ll be the one having new babies and they’ll be ooh-ing and aah-ing over your future beautiful little ones.
Your time will come, however, enjoy the freedom you have until then! You can drink. You can go out without finding a babysitter. You don’t have to worry about said babysitter canceling last minute. You have freedom. You have a good plan!
(Not saying kids aren’t great, but enjoy the time you have now. Your turn will be here, until then, have a quick shot and read the tumblr for single/waiting bees
It’s funny, and you’ll laugh, promise!)
Post # 4
I feel you on the baby thing. I’ll be 23 next month and SO is 20, so to him babies are something he has awhile to think about in his mind. In my mind I want to start trying in the next 4 to 5 years though. And with us planning to have a 2 year engagement, I wish he’d get the show on the road so it won’t be marriage, house, kids back to back. With that said, if you’re saving for a house, I’d start focusing on that. Thanks to some fellow bees here I found houzz.com and am in love. I’m preoccupying my mind by dreaming about the dream home SO and I want to build in a few years together. It also helps me take my mind off the fact that everytime I go home to see my little nephews, I realize how much I really do want to be a mother.
Post # 5
Seriously the last person I would be jealous of is a 15 year old who got knocked up. These people have tough time attempting to raise babies when they aren’t grown up yet.
Feelings aren’t always rational. You should stop comparing yourself to others, and also remind yourself that being in a good position is going to allow you to enjoy parenthood rather then having an unplanned kid and struggling to provide for them and yourself
Post # 6
@sarabee: YOU are doing what you are supposed to be doing! and good for you? How is your friend going to support herself? How healthy and long lasting do you think these people’s real marraiges are going to be 5, 10, 20 or 30 years down the road.
Take you time. Finish planning for your life. If you have OUTGROWN everyone else in your life then it is time to make new friends. People who are more mature and have more going on in life. People who you can relate to. This is a good thing. You do not want to decrease the possibilites you have going for yourself because that is where ‘everyone else’ is.
Just focus on you. your SO. In the end you are going to have a career and a house and a far more stable foundation for a lasting, healthy marraige.
As for as your health is concerned. Stay possitive (the best medicine is a Laughter) and don’t pay attention to the baby madness. People are always going to get pregnant. Just be happy for your own accomplishments (which you should.)
Good luck and *Hugs*
Post # 7
Do you live in the South or in a really small town? 23 seems REALLY young to be having kids. Just take your time and live your life the way you want to. Your future kids will be really thankful that you waited until you were mentally and financially ready to be a parent.
Post # 8
ENJOY your 20s!! No need to rush the baby thing…I personally dont think that at 23 you have experienced enough of life to be ready to settle down and have kids. You have plenty of time, and nothing to be jealous about!!
Post # 9
I call it babylust! SO and I both have it like crazy, despite (my) already having two kids I want more so badly but I REFUSE to have anymore until after we are married/get the wedding because I know if I don’t wait we will never get that dream wedding! I think for me it is mostly just about wanting to get to share that experience with SO, because our future child would be his biological first and he’s never gotten “to do” the pregnancy/birth/baby thing. My kids were around 1 and 2 when we got together so he’s changed diapers/fixed bottles/gotten up at night and proved himself as a dad but never gotten to do the itty bitty baby thing.
Don’t let it get you down, most everyone gets it and as you can see from me…you will still get it even AFTER you have kids! Also enjoy your freedom while you have it because as wonderful as kids are you will never get a moments peace again LOL!!! Picking up and going out will become a thing of the past…you will spend an hour just getting ready to go to his parents or the grocery store.