(Closed) Ugh! Really Frustrating Family Members! Long Vent.

posted 8 years ago in Career
Post # 3
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you should stick to the “not enough tickets” plan. Only have the people you want there! As for the party, does your Mom really not want to throw it? If’s she’s only doing it because of “obligation” have talk with her about how you feel and why you don’t want a party.

Post # 4
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I agree that you should just keep telling them there aren’t enough tickets – it’s true, after all! And have you tried talking to your mom about the party? Like His Barista said, she may think it’s what you want!

Post # 5
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I think it’s fine not to invite them and the “not enough tickets” excuse is great. However, I would really rethink avoiding the party. You have a lot of family members who love you and are excited for you and want to celebrate with you. Yes, they were rude at your high school graduation, but how long are you going to hold that grudge for? Since they can’t attend the actual graduation, this party is the only way they can share this huge moment with you. You mention none of them went to college – maybe they’re extra-proud due to that.

If you flat out refuse to include them in your graduation or have a party, you are basically shunning them. Now if you really hate them all and don’t want to ever see them or talk to them again, go ahead. But if you want to have any kind of relationship with them, I would give them a few hours of your life to celebrate your graduation. If you’re worried about being tired that day, you could always do it the next weekend. 

Post # 6
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

First, congratulations on graduating. Sounds like you’ve worked your butt off! I also did a dual program type of thing and got my bachelors in 3 years. I know how much hard work it takes.

That being said, I agree that you should stick to your guns about the 6 tickets thing. If they did end up coming and leaving early I don’t think it would be AS noticeable but still rude. I’ve also had family members do things like that and I know how embarassing it is. Is there any way you could have your graduation party on a different day? Like maybe the weekend after or perhaps even the next day? It would let you have your graduation day the way you want but then still celebrate with your family (even if they aren’t your favorite people).

I think ultimately the decision is yours. If you really don’t want to celebrate for these people for whatever reason then nobody can make you. I would encourage you to do so though.

Post # 7
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Call all of your aunts/uncles and let them that while you appreciate the idea of a party, you have private plans–a lowkey affair with the immediate family.


Btw, shame on them for leaving in the middle of a graduation, how disrespectful!

Congrats, what an achievement!!! Laughing

Post # 9
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I didn’t. We had lunch after the ceremony and that was it. It was perfect! I would suggest to just let them know that with the economy it’s not really feasible right now. Hopefully they’d get that?

Post # 10
478 posts
Helper bee

I am probably the WRONG person to give this advice. I can’t stand my family, and I keep association with them at a bare minimum.


I say, they are your 6 tickets, you should be able to use them however you choose. You are an adult, and if you don’t want a party, there should be no “obligation.” For what? Because they want to reep the benefits of free food and a family gathering that they don’t have to put any effort in to? I say if they want the party, let them throw the party. You mom isn’t “supposed to do” anything ESPECIALLY if it’s not what you want. And I think your reason for not wanting to invite them is a good one. They showed no respect at your HS graduation, and didn’t even come to your AA, so why should you extend an invitation to people who are disrespectful and ungrateful. Are you close with them? Even if you were close to them, they should understand that tickets are limited and you already have the people who are near and dear to you chosen to attend. I don’t care if spanky the dog got one of those tickets, if that’s who you want to go, then no one should argue that.

That’s just my opinion, but then again I have no tolerance for my family, and my judgement it a little skewed. lol Good luck, and congratulations for your acomplishment!! I graduate in May too. Oh and only my Boyfriend or Best Friend and my aunt and uncle are coming. lol And they aren’t even my “aunt” and “uncle,”  They’re second cousins. lol Long story…

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