- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
This is complicated but I will try and shorten it up. My FH has been doing foster care for 7 years now. He has had the same sibling group since he started. Before he became a foster parent he just so happened to date our foster childrens mother. It was brief but still! The younger one is now adopted but we cannot adopt the older one. Once again it’s complicated but her goal is independence so she will be with us until she moves out or goes to college. I HATE there mom in the beginning I tried really hard to get along with her and I still do. I respect she is there mother. I send gifts on her birthday, christmas, and when it’s mothers day I always take them to pick her something out. Now to the problem she has caused ALOT of problems since I entered the picture she hates that my FH and I are getting married and hates that I live in the home. There have been countless meeting about her actions which include saying things to the children, sending crazy messages to myself and my friends via facebook and hacking into my email and facebook account. I had a long discussion with my FH a few months ago about my feelings towards her and we decided together that from this point on all of the contact with her and the kids must go threw the case worker (she has supervised visits with the case worker). This conversation was the result of my FH letting the kids talk to her on the phone (his phone) while she was saying terrible things about me and he was not ending the phone calls or saying anything. Also she had a bookbag for the kids so I said to him and the case worker ok well have her bring it to the next visit and my FH let her come to OUR house and drop it off to the kids while I wasn’t home. When I finally had enough and told him how I felt he seemed to understand and for months everything was going smoothly but this morning I had that feeling and I phone snooped while he was in the shower ( I know it’s terrible) and found that while I was gone last night at foster care training he let the kids talk to there Mom on the phone. We also have another unrelated foster son and I do allow his mother to call because she can act appropriatly on the phone and have appropriate conversations with her son. But the other 2 kids mother just can’t seem to. She will even at times talk about how drunk she was the night before and how she peed herself while sleeping because she was so drunk. So the phone calls are not healthy. I am just so mad because we had already talked about this. Ugh what should I do? How should I bring it up without going off on him. How do I make him get it?