Ugh, so stressed!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@allyfally:  I’m so sorry. I have no advice for you but wanted to let you know you’re not alone in this situation. My in-laws offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner and I said OK. Well, they have not planned anything yet because everything is too expensive, or not nice enough, we have too many people for the room, we have too few people for the room… it is driving me insane. At this point I wish they never even offered. If you figure out how to deal with it let me know 😉

Post # 4
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@allyfally:  I am not a fan of dry weddings but since you don’t mind then this is what I’d do: Tell her that since she hasn’t done anything to secure a vendor it’s going to be a dry wedding, then just let it go.

Post # 5
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@allyfally:  Omg. I went through all of that (slightly different though) and ended up crying on a curb while on a jog it bothered me so much. This, I would say, was the worst part about the whole wedding experience for me BUT, in the end, it all turned out WAY better than I could have thought. I have no advice except that it will all work out in the end, promise!

Post # 6
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’d let it go. If it’s something you don’t care about and she insisted on then it’s in her court if she loses all her options (and you get to have the wedding you wanted in the first place)!

Post # 7
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Tell her flat out that you’re not making any arrangements re: alcohol. If she doesn’t do it, there simply won’t be any.

DO NOT PAY FOR IT YOURSELF HOPING TO BE REIMBURSED BY HER.

Post # 8
Member
2264 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@SummerOfLove: +1

If she told you that she would pay for alcohol at your wedding because she wanted it there but has not acted upon it, the best thing to do is just to let it go. The ball is in her court. If she decides not to do something, she has no right to complain the day of. By etiquette, you are not required to serve your guests alcohol. No need to stress. She will make it happen or she won’t, but you will have a beautiful day either way!

I can understand your disappointment, though, if you were looking forward to something she said she would do. Sometimes, it is helpful to be proactive. Maybe you could set up a time to have lunch with her where you could call the list of companies that you gave her together? Or maybe she just can’t afford it and is too embarressed. You might have to feel that one out. You know her much better than we all do! Go with your gut on it.

 

Post # 9
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@allyfally:  Sorry to hear this. It is amazing how people can let us down. My mom is helping out alot with the wedding so I can’t really complain but I feel your pain in some respect because I have been let down/disappointed with family members in other areas of the wedding planning. Hopefully she comes to her senses and starts to help you out.

Post # 11
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@allyfally:  Old dog understands and wants you to know that this too will pass….but demon puppy thinks you should go kick your Mom in the shins!

 

Post # 13
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@allyfally:  Cairo always had sage like advice and the patience of Job…obviously…since the next photo in this series is his eye with Wort’s foot in it….that old hound never even flinched.

Post # 14
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Can you tell her, if this is not taken care of by X date, then we are not doing it, end of story? I mean, SHE”S the one that wants it.

Also are you sure the liquor has to be PROVIDED by a licensed bartender, or just served by one?

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