(Closed) Ugh, stupid fight!

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ugh that’s so tough.  What about his job doesn’t he like?  Is there any way that you can put feelers out with your contacts to get him a new position that he might like better?  If he wouldn’t even follow through on that, you two need to have a serious talk, sinc ehe can’t sit around all the time while you are busting your butt.

Post # 5
Member
1742 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

People have different thresholds of “get-this-done-now!”  For me, not having a clean fork is plenty of incentive to wash all the dishes… for him it’s incentive to wash a fork.  Often, not always, women are the ones who feel less tolerance for the state of the home, partly becuase if a house is messy, it reflects more on the woman.  That said, you should not feel on a regular basis that you are doing far more in the home / for the home than he.  Maybe if he’s the major bread-winner, he feels that IS his contribution to the home – it’s still a prevalent attitude for many men.  Or, maybe if he is disheartened at work, he really DOES just need some time to veg around the house.  Maybe you are both stressed right now, and need to take a break if possible from as much as possilbe.  I’ve also found that asking him to clean things out for a trip to Goodwill does me no good… so I just clean out my own stuff, marvel at the neatness of my closet and tell him when I’m dropping things off if he has anything ready, and then go do it regardless of whether he’s gotten anything prepared or not.  Eventually, he cleans out his stuff and I’ll usually have a new batch by then to go drop off (losing/gaining/losing weight = bad for closet/wallet, but good for Goodwill). 😛

 

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