(Closed) Ugh, why am I SO moody when it comes to waiting (vent)…

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

**hugs for you**

 

In the worst stages, I felt like I was going insane. Now that my SO has clarified things (ie. getting engaged THIS summer), I am much calmer and excitement has taken over. Why do you feel that something is going to go wrong? Do you think that he would take back his promise for July? 

Post # 4
Member
231 posts
Helper bee

You are so not psycho! It is a tough situation to be in! If you know it is coming it just taunts you and waiting is the worst but if you don’t know it is coming and you want it, it is still in the back of your mind! I give you props for not saying anything to your SO. My best friend is in the same position and she bugs him so often I am literally scared he won’t propose because she is always bugging him about it! I say good job on not bugging him and it will happen and it will be amazing!

Post # 6
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

hang in there!  You can drive yourself crazing thinking about “what if” scenarios.  If something does come up…well, at that point you can decide how to handle it.  Unfortunately, if you’re being quiet you can’t remind him of all sorts of “waiting until the last minute leads to trouble” stories.  Trust it will happen, and let go. 

ETA: It ate the second half of my post.  Basically, I said that you were the poster whose SO contributed to his mom’s upkeep, yes?  (Or am I mixing posters?)  That’s likely the reason she’s unenthusaistic, because her life will change.  It doesn’t make it right, but sometimes it helps to understand why she might be acting that way.

Post # 8
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t want to sound harsh when I know you’re in a difficult situation, but maybe if you can stop thinking that you are “waiting” and actually enjoy the relationship you have with your SO, it will not bother you so much. It seems to me (I’ve read all your posts) that you need to focus on the present instead of constantly worrying about the future.

 

ETALI say this as someone whose attitude on “waiting” almost ruined my relationship because I wasn’t appreciating what I had in front of me because of “what if’s” 

Post # 10
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

Oh, be careful.  Don’t get too down!  Even if you think it doesn’t show it shows, and that could put it off.  Get back on the happy train ASAP.

I believe I have put off my own proposal the same way.

Post # 12
Member
1742 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@Shirinjoon: Sorry the ‘not-worried’ phase didn’t carry over till July for you.  I’ve had two more couples around me get engaged and my June wedding couple is happily/nervously planning away and every meeting with them involved talk about it, so it’s all right up in the front of my mind lately, and I can’t push it back without a supreme effort (or just allowing myself a crying session at home alone, just so I can not feel resentful when BF comes home). 

I’m pretty sure from some of your last posts that you’ll be very happy come July, and I think you should take some refuge in the fact that it’s really not that far away.  It’s less than 25% of a year to go – absolute worst case scenario, July 31st, is only 82 days away  Start crossing off days like Christmas and it’ll go more quickly than you think.  If he’s never broken a promise to you, that speaks volumes.  🙂

Post # 14
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Girl, I know how you feel!  My little sister is living with her boyfriend (they moved in after about four months of dating!!) now have a baby, and are set to be married in August.  Her facebook posts are things like “So happy with my new life as a wife and mother”.

I am the older one, the college graduate, working 7 days a week, living with my dad because I can’t afford my own place yet.  SO and I have been together twice as long as my sis and her fiance, but no engagement.

* sorry to vent on your post* I know where you are coming from though…it is hard to watch when you feel like your life isn’t going to move forward Frown

I know yours will though!!  You will get everything you deserve!

Post # 15
Member
1742 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@Shirinjoon: Psst – only 81 days now 😛

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