- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
So bees…once again up for debate is DH wanting FIL to take a job overseas with us. I posted it a while ago and a lot of people told me that it was ultimately FIL’s decision. http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/would-you-want-your-fil-taking-a-job-to-be-near-your-dh
Well, I know if he had the chance he’d take it. He’s been struggling financially and he’s had it with the drama from BIL.
My main issues are:
1) DH would have to actually “recommend” his dad for the position…his dad would have to switch companies to come here…and he doesn’t care for his new boss so I think he’d jump at the chance. So if DH doesn’t tell him, it won’t happen…but I think he’s telling him as I type this.
2) FIL is very selfish and very close to DH…they IM all day at work…not a problem unless DH/I are having issues, FIL’s stance is that DH has other “options” avail to him. FIL has also given DH BAD relationship advice in DH’s other past relationships.
3) Just recently, I found out that when DH/I were dating and having a “small” issue, his dad sent him pictures of younger girls (nieces of his FI) that were going to college (overseas) near where we lived at…and then described each of these girls and how they seemed to be a better match for DH than me. I’m still having a hard time getting over that.
4) FIL’s FI has been w/him for over 10 years but won’t marry him. I wonder why! Anytime they get into a fight, he makes comments to DH that he should leave her and find himself a younger girl that likes nothing more than travel, ride bikes with him….since his FI doesn’t do that.
5) He’s generally a nice, happy guy…everyone likes him to an extent. However, he gets very pissy (like DH) about stupid things and then people don’t want to be around him anymore. I see this happening over here and us being his only friends.
6) He’s nearing 60…everyone we know here that is single is early 20s. If he did break it off w/his FI to move here, I seriously doubt anyone single would hang out with him and I wouldn’t be surprised if he moved in with us.
So besides ranting, I need more advice on how to talk to DH about this. I asked him to wait until he talked to me tonight about it before mentioning it to his dad, but I’m pretty sure his dad already knows.
I know if it does happen, there needs to be boundaries…DH and I are going through other things right now and I don’t want FIL moving here and preventing us from working through them.
What should be the boundaries? Does DH need to mention this to his dad before pushing him to come over here?